Vanilla Sky.

No longer searching for validation in the faces of foes that are dead behind the eyes, I have grown stronger than ever before, as I realize that a new moon will always rise in my vanilla sky. Although my horizon may have gone grim, growing greyer upon each further glance, I am slowly learning to accept fate, and leave the rest to pomp and circumstance. Creatures of the night, that I once called friends, have become caricatures of themselves; my time alone, and new found inner strength have aided me on my never-ending journey to discover where my dreams now dwell. Enticed and exhilarated, I now see that I am able to pull through and endure, things that others have only feared in the past, I am no longer the curse, but instead, I hold the keys that will unlock the cure. Sycophants sullenly seek to silence the sunrise behind my eyes, flattery once got them everywhere but now I see through the endless lies. Grandiosity, delusions, and schizophrenic rants and raves, will soon be the hieroglyphics of my archaic past that will be found by future generations inside their caves. Brilliance attempted to befriend me, but I chose the beauty that my eyes beheld, your demons and their witchery were the reasons that even I became be-spelled. Resplendent cacophonies and their musicality that dances inside my mind, remind me of the melodies that met misery; envious, and always unkind. Religion ridiculed me, rained rabidly on my head, but I fraudulently remained to fight, choosing flight instead. Nurture was my nature, Freud was speechless when he met me as well; Marxism sealed the deal, and sent me sailing towards my own socialistic Hell. I conveniently knew how to lie, and thus play the game by the time I had turned six, whilst all the other little girls and boys were still teeming with excitement over mindless magic tricks. Faster than the speed of light, my neutrinos never fail to awe or shock, I am increasingly unlocking my own happiness, and finding the shepherd that will lead my fallen flock. Brick by boring brick, I beam as I build myself a new life, devoid of negativity, embedded with empathy, and full of the fluorescence achieved without a single drop or slice of sombre strife. I aim for immortality injected directly into my veins, the infinite energy will be the building blocks and foundation of my new brain. Another Earth parallel to the universe that exists inside my soul, will be the guidance that I need to heal, and regenerate so I can prosper, and regain securely stable self control.

Paradigm Shift.

I sit and stare in wonderment, contemplating all the things that could have been, although my own stubbornness prevented me from attaining the joys that I had seen, in dreams. The foolishness inside flickered, went out without a fight, as I crawled through the dark, stumbling, suffocating searching for the light. I am the only thing that stands in my own way, my own worst critic, harshest on the coldest days. I cringe and cower at the concept of a life without conflict, the grass is always greener on the other side as mine always appears to look unfit. I refuse to accept the happiness and bliss that I know I truly deserve, choosing instead to live in a state of constant suffering, internalizing all of the sadness that I observe. The wails inside tremor, shake me like earthquakes of the worst magnitude, as I build up my walls higher, hoping to gain clarity at a greater altitude. Impenetrable fortress that I am, no man will ever break me again, but only because I am my own worst enemy, and will not allow my heart to detach itself from my brain. I protect love with my head, using insight, and logic instead; rationalizing reason though it still rages ravenously and dyes my insides bloody red. Once I accept love and light into my life, I know that I will stand taller than the rest, but until that moment arrives, I will remain cursed by the demons from my past that demean me and do not let me become blessed. Negative energy that surrounds me, will not flow freely and stays trapped inside my chest, berating, and blaming me for leaving it unaddressed. Blackened eyes to match my heart, bruised and battered from the start, I will make the change I need to depart from this mindset that cages my most chaotic, and creative art. Growing up, I gain myself, on my own, alone but never lonely, I am really the only one that can stop myself from feeling so languid, and lecherously lowly. Glorious, ghoulish death that pokes, and prods at me with its cold and bony fingers, greets me by gossiping about me, staying slightly out of sight, although it always lingers. I welcome it with open arms and accept that this might really be the end, by giving up, I am letting go, my paradigm shifts preparing me to take the final steps needed in order to truly mend. I will do it all differently, this time, I will actually become my own best friend, turn the hands of time forward, not back, as I ready myself internally to transcend; I am on the road to recovery, on a path that meanders, giving me the means to finally make amends and mend.

Renewed.

Your affected, infection laced ignorance will not function anymore, as you assume that all will forever be forgiven, yet you conveniently forget what we were even fighting for. I gave you many chances, danced for you, and helped you advance. I held your hand through your darkest hour only to become the recipient of your bad romance. Entranced, I stared into your starry eyes hoping you would whisk me away into the sky, only to realize that you were faking it this whole time, choke back your tears, say goodbye, I refuse to remain your greatest war crime. Your Hitler hail can no longer sear my skin, falling from the Heavens only to cover me in sin. You coveted the key to these chains that bound me to your acid rain, bathed me in blisters, that denoted disdain. Virulent vengeance and the vanity it wanted to veer, made it crystal clear that you congealed the bloody cross that I once held so dear. I can play at happy, plaster a smile on my face, and pretend that it is all okay but petulant pretenses in a world so grey only lead to deprivation, demise, and one's decay. I rise from the ashes of our house that you burned down to the ground, soar into the skies, no longer lost but instead profound. The cheery disposition I once maintained has returned, no cause for concern, a new leaf has turned. One was thought to be the loneliest number, but we are two of a kind like the flickering flecks of sun that often get ignored, and then left behind. We are not too different from the solitary stars that try with all their might, to provide light to cities overrun with pollution, all throughout the night. With no use for one another, I found myself in the suffering brought upon my heart through being apart, realized then and there that I was not off to the greatest start. I am confident, and proud, full of potential, yet rarely obnoxious or loud. On the worst days, I forget why I exist, but then look up to the skies, and consider all of the potential that I contain for continuous, and endless bliss. I am my own worst critic, as I often refuse to allow myself to progress, though happiness fills each pore, and every fibre, and will pave the road to my success. Once again, I take the reins, as I am reminded that it is not all pain, nor is it so bad in the end. I tighten my laces, take hold of the sutures, and begin the healing that I know will ultimately allow for me to mend. As of today, I will no longer accept the sorrow lined streets that result in my feeling subdued; I look to the Heavens grateful for the breath that escapes from my lips, I feel so renewed.

Awakening.

The emptiness soaks in absorbing my body entirely, as it pulls my heart out; it is now obsolete. The security that would once surround me, left loneliness in its place, and has moved onto better streets. My sights were once set so high, now I watch helplessly as the only hope I have is to survive. It depletes everyday, bringing to mind the question of whether I will rot, and then decay. With too much on my plate, I realize I have taken on more than I can handle. The fear that fills me, burning stronger with each day, threatens to be my biggest scandal. In the water, I am beautiful as it washes away my sins. Purifies me like the divine, and reminds me that I am capable of achieving anything. Instead, I choose to remain in this morbid mundane stagnant state that surrounds me with the constant memories of all the things that I truly hate. Wasting away as I wear my heart on my sleeve every time that I go out, only to open myself up and be vulnerable, the thing I most need to do without. I cannot function knowing that I am the cause and not the cure, as I fade into black, my shadow remains pulling at strings to find something, or someone who will make it feel secure. The rock-hard stability that I seek loses its credibility as the hours turn into days and then weeks. I am an eternal work in progress, floating, hoping to catch glimpse of something that I can truly be passionate about. Yet for some reason, which my mind cannot comprehend, my insides tremble because of the repressed shouts. I am not hurting anyone but the future self that is to come, the one who hopes to meet an improved version of me, and not one that is just numb. I break everyday, yet somehow the pieces are not too difficult to put back together. I am human though, and fallible even on my most determined days. I refuse to admit that I was born this way for it would be inhumane for all of thus pain to be innate. I seek out the sun at the beginning of my day to remind me that I am still receptive, and open to love. The Hide and Seek moon at night lulls me to sleep, my goddess from above. The loneliness seeps in, injecting me with its apathy, that crawls under my skin. As I lie here counting sheep along with my defeats, with hands crossed in prayer, I patiently wait for the desperately needed healing to begin.

Passive Aggressive.

You claimed to be okay and said you were unfazed, but I should have known that you were waiting to set my world ablaze. I wish we could communicate, only then would I know this is all not in vain, if only we could eliminate the aggregate, then our potential would not poison our brains. Concealed caricatures of the person you claimed to be rose to the surface and engaged in battle with me, you claimed to wish me well but only gave me Hell, as you slowly revealed your colours, and came out of your sullen shell. Noxious naiveté that nearly knocked me off my feet, maniacally made me miss the person that I used to be. Your temperamental torture tasted like toxic defeat, seeping into my pores, and then dragging me through the streets. Taxicab confessions, without you I would only stay alive, with you I would surely die, as you contained enough venomous sting to inhabit many beehives. Double sided sword love, either one hurting more than the next; is it even worth it in exchange for the lack of respect? You refuse to tell me, or talk when something is on your mind, let molehills grow into mountains before you are reminded that they were even on your mind. Dust, and ashes brushed under the rug for the maid to find and laugh about, as you pushed me away with your silent penance that appeared to be devout. So take it all back, I have no time for this. I am over-booked but spontaneous, that must mean your love was the abyss. I ventured in deeper and deeper until I was lost before I found myself again, you already had my emotions, why did you also need to disparage my skin with your toxic acid rain? Neediness comes with a hefty price of heed, you cannot truly admit to love unless you first acknowledge your own greed. All selfishness aside, you claim to have done this for me as well, but I am not, nor will I ever be the one to accept without the option to rebel. Treat me right and we can last, challenge me as often as you can; without complexity, we are both bound to result in the arrested development of our own respective lands. Passive aggressive with your vibe so aggressive, why did you digress and leave the best to the rest? Show me your surreal colour, make me see that you can shine, too - without holding me hostage, accosting me for all that you do. Over now, done, you lost your chance to make an impact; seethe as you watch silent as my life gets back on track.

Blackhole.

My self love weighs heavy on my heart, and that is why the other me is my greatest counterpart. This black hole wants to pull me deep within, confine me, never console me, and make me bathe in my own sins. The emotional tide turns in and crashes against the shore of my security, as I venture further in and engage in feigned frivolous fatuities. I tried to conceal my past, suppressed it as much as I could, until I came to realize that I had misunderstood. Galaxies of gratitude which we will regale in when I am well, are the same sentiments that send me sorely sailing towards Hell. Vociferous and vile, evil tries to purchase me, only playing for keeps; as I subconsciously proselytize to gain my own flock of wicked sheep. The energy, and chemicals between us are absorbed into my skin, yet I try to flush it all away and drown it in a bottle of bathtub gin. This charade is not enough to break me, nor will it ever be easy to shake. I am still, however, well aware that I will become the things that I attain to make. Ambition don't fail me now, I get closer by the day; hours, minutes, and seconds are the only currencies with which I am currently able to pay. Lecherous lethargy let go of me, I release you to marry the night. Your flag was raised even before I arrived, and was forced to stop at your red light. I look to the skies for the answers I seek but I am ashamed for what might be reflected; will it be the inner-me or the attributes of the boy inside that I rejected? I fade to black as I fought the hardest that I could right now, I can only keep my hands crossed in prayer until true blissful happiness is something that I am willing to allow.

Dearly Departed.

Plebeian pleasures that only appealed to me in passing moments, idiots so ignorant that were unworthy of my romance. Your failure to ignite the incandescence of my incense, was enough for me to protest, and forget about your pretense. Rapidly realized that you were not ever all that rare, like a steak well done, your time was over before you could claim that you had won. Failed to stun, although you never left home without your glue gun. Glitter was your weapon, but your love was just a rerun. I chose myself instead, refused to settle for passive aggression and its lack of pleasure. I am a treasure, solid gold; a diamond surrounded by casual, catatonic coal. Carefully consoled, I chose to hold myself in closer context, you exacerbated my existence, punished me with your persistence whilst alienating my own assistance. I am the master, you were the muse, when it's all over, get up and leave; you've been used. I only need me, your impermanence transparent; as you tried to tempt me, as if it were inherent. I have conquered chaos, triumphed typhoons, meandered mountains, and micromanaged the moon. You are a buffoon to think that I would trade it all for you, for someone that consistently bites off more than they can chew. If challenge was your child, it would already be dead; nauseated by knowledge, you chose indolent ignorance instead. I am one in a million, a star in my own right yet with you I falter, and my lustre is never as bright; so for me to settle for someone of your stature should have made me feel outright contrite. Cognition concealed, revelations revealed, it becomes clearer to me with each new day that I was out of your playing field. In a league of my own, I play for one team, and it is mine; I am no longer inclined to feel the need to be perpetually entwined. We may have wined, dined, and reclined only to make me see that I am far too refined, for you. You have been give the pink slip without the option of resign. Today, I only choose me, myself, and I. You are not unlike the dearly departed, as you have been declined.

Medic.

You were my medic as you made the final incision and cut my heart in two. Kept the biggest piece for yourself, the first time you had ever made a decision, now my blood bleeds blue. You doctored the romance, all of it untrue, that made me fall for you. Scalpel sharp, and surgery cold, as you transplanted trust into me, but it was misconstrued. Now I lie waiting in the operating room hoping to be fixed by you; your malpractice resulted in the malignancy of me, which you could never undo. Tremors, shakes, and quivers, ulcers, but somehow your love remains my hunger pain, sprained my trust in you whenever you would stray, but your attention was still enough to make me feel renewed. Now I suffer from the aches of arrhythmia as my heart still beats for you, disengaged from all my favourite places, with my life in dire need of review. My liver threatens to leave me abandoned, yet I still refuse to admit that I have taken to drinking for two. We were a pair that should have never separated; you were like my other lung, now tell me how am I supposed to breathe without you? The psychology of me is not that difficult to comprehend, as I sit and try, and wait in vain to be my own best friend. The blood that courses through my veins, sometimes it feels pretend; all my internal organs failed at once, now that we have come to an end. Serotonin, dopamine have left along with you, the only way for me to feel complete is through medication and its use. With the paintings of my life slightly askew, I find it difficult at times to breathe, instead of seeking out what I know makes me happy, I prefer to remain subdued. With all of your surgical tools, this tumor will be hardest to erase, the emptiness I surround myself with, feels as permanent as a temporary tattoo. I will survive, and find myself in the recovery room ready to remove these bandages and heal, without you, there is still a me; the beauty within me is not something that I should ever conceal. My body refuses to grow cold and wear out simply because my life is devoid of you, this cadaver has nine lives, and on you I only wasted two. Soon enough you will be replaced like all the others before you; painted my world with blacks and greys for you, now only the brightest hues and colours dye my mood.

Chaos.

Your chaos had a melody, that I danced to all day long. The trauma of your design was enough for me to consider losing it all. The recipe of your disaster was the most beautiful song, as I tried to paint with vibrancy to avoid any further falls. The anarchy of your leadership started to flood our town, it took years for me to realize that you would always let me down. Unreliable until the end, I was merely drawn to your disarray; broken now, our looking glass had started to rust, and then decay. Selfish to your core, you were spoiled rotten long before we met, you faltered many times as I forgave countless more, and somehow managed also to forget. You coloured my world with the chaos of your trouble, watched me twist, and turn to your love as my fears ebbed to the surface, and then quickly began to boil, and bubble. Hotter by the second, our saga began too fast, as we raced to reach the finish line, only to lose it all and place dead last. Was it the sorrow behind my smile that our judges saw that made them recoil? Or was it the hostile way in which you led me to my demise; we never mixed, you were the water to my oil. The ingredients of us, devoid of trust, would never have allowed us to reap the fruits of our labour, as we peeled away the superficial layers, it was only evident that we would never be neighbours. So take back your crocodile tears that were as real as you are vain, take back your forced umbrella love, I have always been better off in the rain. Return the efforts, promises that I made that were wasted on you because I was afraid. Now that I have taken the last step to burying your name, I grab ahold of the reins, and with new eyes, new life is breathed into me as I watch you circle the drain.

Chemical Warfare.

The oxygen you provided once is more like poison now, as you slit my throat with overbearing love, and the blood spills out. The doubts fill me throughout like carbon monoxide gas, as I have replaced you with another, join the ranks of the second class. Anthrax awareness alarmed me, as your nitrogen nude nuances neglected my reverie, forcing me to set you fluorine free. The chemicals between us ceased to exist in harmony, drastically decreasing the likelihood of the conception of progeny. Your arsenic, aciduous heart resulted in your reaching out to my lovers past in your time of need, future suitors will take heed, of your pathetic, and pitiful ignoble deeds. You claimed to be comprised of krypton, yet you were hardly a noble gas, you played make believe and had me convinced that you were less than a global ass. Chernobyl, and Hiroshima have recovered better than you, as you are now a no man's land, in a state of disrepair that is worse than the Roman ruins. Like titanium, you formed a coat of hatred around my reactive hydrogen heart, you claimed to be the gold I deserved, but I was only able to find lead once I tore you apart. Lithium salt leery, you were a terrible toy for my mental health, since you've been gone, I have appreciated in value, losing you had the greatest influence on my wealth. Bite your tungsten tongue the next time you feel the need to misinform others of the damage that you claimed that I have done, or prepare for karma and her cobalt crossbow to pour mercury directly into your lungs. Atomic bombs of annoyance were the final acts that set fire to my mind, the argon inside was not enough to reduce the feeling that I was confined. Chemical warfare love that we both received through sexually transmitted mail, endangered, not extinct, I refuse to become a victim like you, I will not let you be the wrong to my right whale. Brave tin soldier that I am, I proved resilient, and I have managed to survive. Your delinquent departure was welcome with open arms, I feel redeemed, and reborn, like radium, I have been revived.

Cards.

Twenty four, three too many for the perfect hand in life's biased game of Blackjack, but just enough to strike back with a well memorized massive attack. I compromised too much of myself to lose it all in one round of Russian roulette, paid the cost to be the best, so return my ante, and retain your bets. I will be victorious, I was born to win, effortlessly notorious, it kills my many critics to encounter my resilience. I am no longer the pawn that kept getting knocked down, but I am the king who gets stronger with each round. You were the black queen; wickedness run rampant through your veins, I was always two steps ahead, immune to your endless games. Attention deficit and as blind as the jaded one-eyed Jack, you may have made Jill take a spill, but I am much smarter than that. You said you would go straight and never stray again but you lied, so this royal flushed you away and watched our future die. I have always been adept at doing too much to fast, similarly, we were over in a blink, it was never meant to last. I was the jack of all trades to your less than ace of spades love, there are no more hearts left to play, now that push has turned to shove. Without any warning, you turned this into a childish game of War, as I stole most of your poker chips, then left you as worthless as a wiley whore. Grow a pair of clubs, before you try again with love, all your cards have now been dealt, continue to play the victim, and watch your potential melt. Your jilted joker and its jest were not enough to save the rest. No longer your dealer, you've been granted your final hand, no cause for celebration, or reason for reprimand. For the last time, I denied your dismaying demands, as disbelief deceived your heart, you were forced to say goodbye to my handstands.

Addiction.

Cocaine covered clouds that would cushion and comfort my falls, have ceased to provide security, through life's many curveballs. Methamphetamine dreams laced with paranoia and delusion, solely fill my world with desolation, and crack ignited confusion. Made Mary Jane my mistress, reached out to her when I was down, with an embrace, one simple kiss, she once was able to make me feel so profound. Ecstasy would take me high, and help me soar, gone are the days now when I was a user, I am drugs' whore no more. Acid trip traps that I used as a means to escape, have lost their ability now, to help me forget the many memories of rape. I was once a jaded junkie living amongst the untouchables of North American society, instead I have turned a new leaf, contrived of clarity, and sobriety. I am no longer a victim, nor a product of my environment, it is in my nature to nurture, or else face extinction, and endangerment. Painkillers and opiates that I once thought would make me immune to pain now provide me with no relief as I pour them down the drain. Alcohol, the great depresser, was supposed to wash my fears away, instead of amplifying my sadness, and making my tears resurface; now they are here to stay. An addiction addled past has made me waste away so fast, as I tossed and turned in my sleepless state only to find the strength within, the fire that will burn to ensure that my life lasts. My unchained melody is the plight that will never set me free, once these boundaries cease to be walls, how will these changes affect my sanity? I am human, hear me roar, victorious until the end, I need to slip as I am fallible but that is the only way that I can mend. I will survive, and prevail, I am the proverbial phoenix rising from the ashes, determination flows through my veins, there will be no more accidents, or self-inflicted sullen slashes. Today, I need to make the promise that I am committed to my cause, there is no more room for relapse, only the open acceptance of my flaws.

Dismissal.

My survival has ceased to be dependent on your fickle, fascist regime. I am number one again now, no longer feel the need to be a part of your team. The tears dried on their own as you failed to appropriately feign support; I run freely now as my airplane has been released from death's arid airport. Tossed aside so you could explore other carnal desires, I was merely your whore. Your two-faced heart can beat for me no more, enjoy your latest conquest who seems to be such a bore. I am passion and he is solely lust, stick with him, and accept my curse; the guilt within will turn your love to rust. I can guarantee that your world will fade to black, once you realize that someone truly genuine is everything that you lack. Christened a killer but baptized a brat, your treacherous deeds will make you fall flat. The bloodred wine that flows through your veins, was frigid, ice cold as it tried to make me irrelevant, then certify me mundane. Unbeknownst to you, your attempts were in vain, for all you accomplished was the hatred, which now permanently resides within my brain. I may deserve your vengeance but I refuse to accept this, sealed with death's dire kiss, you are finally dismissed.

Deeper.

My cancer soaked heart is what led me here, leaving me confused, it is more than I can bare. I have never felt so cheap or used, as I battle my foreign fears. I am the sole cause, the muse, for my own dark despair. Night falls as death threatens to strip me of my soul. I know I should fight harder but to what avail? For your vision of love, my frigid heart still tolls. My fountain of youth, you were my holy grail. Crawling through the dark, I searched for the rabbithole that would lead me back to you. Before my soul accepts its fate, and succumbs to heartbreak's fatal flu. Love is a flesh eating virus that poisons your brain; makes you foolishly see beauty in things that are mundane. I thought that I would break the pattern and put an end to this chain, but instead I pull the plug, you win. Watch my hopes and dreams for us as they circle the drain. I gave you all of me, hopelessly, even things that were solely intended for me. Then toyed with your emotions, demonized you until you had no choice but to exorcise yourself of me and set yourself free. You were a victim of my distorted notion of love, twisted, tossed, and turned until you were forced to seek guidance from above. Queen karma will surely make me suffer for my mistreatment of you or perhaps it is enough recompense for me to watch another reap the benefits of you. Is it me that you think of while he whispers in your ear? Do you think that he has it in him to undo your sadness and then dry your tears? If you can answer yes and attest that I never loved you best. Be my guest, and digress, just remember that my love for you will flow eternal, it is deeper than the rest.

Crossroads.

My indecision has paved two roads; one made with dreams, the other with gold. With each step forward, I further unload and drift farther away from your hands which I so longed to hold. A future filled with you would never be fickle it would be only be sweet, but desire is a demon, it is a two way street. My heart sees only in blacks and whites, no in-betweens, but the hope inside multiplies like forests filled with evergreens. The eternal flame will always burn as I hold your heart in my hand through the falls from which you will learn. I am your friend, an ally, first and foremost as I sit and await your acceptance of me as your loving host. I will possess you like a child in its mothers womb, like kings from long ago possess their luxurious tombs. Toxic waste landfills and radioactive despair line the boulevards of broken dreams that appeared now that you are no longer here. Biohazardous balloons float to the Heavens then pop, blinding my eyes, when will this misery stop? Rearranged in my head are the playgrounds of my childhood that ceased to exist once we became misunderstood. Andalusian avenues that appeared out of the blue made my world grey without the comfort of you. Crystal clear waters coughed chlorine then died, as my actions resulted in all hopes for our future to die. The confused chaotic canker sores that poisoned me have run away but what of it now as the acid rain stays. We could have had it all; the sun, moon, and stars, too. Instead, I stung your eyes like bargain shop shampoo. Like a cancer, this has left me feeling helpless, and frail, as our train derailed, losing its trail. One day in the future our paths will once again entwine but until that day comes, I will take solace in the dreams, like lullabies, in which you never stopped loving me, never stopped being mine.

Superhuman.

Greyer by the minute, your time ages me each day. Ticking hands that repeat to the beat, bringing me closer to decay. In my grave, you will still count down until you no longer exist as well. The time you thought was real was mere fiction, was designed to give you Hell and reap all of its convictions. Those who chose freedom were the ones who truly lived, as they worked hard to receive the love that they would equally give. Father future, frustrated, feigned satisfaction with his class, as some of his students, us particularly, refused to save the best for last. The water keeps on boiling, creating steam throughout the Earth as a layer of fog and mist are born, making the world and its inhabitants forget their self-worth. We could have been heroes, yet we cowered, hoped to never get caught, as we disdainfully claimed the rewards, the consequences that through our actions we had bought. Waste of life, waste of skin but whose glass house can decide? A lot of us were misdirected and then arrived by chance, and petulant pride. Hoping heavily to fit in, and join the others in their oblivious, foolish dance. Little big planet that is enamoured with the sun, moon, and the stars has inspired us to reach our breaking points as our heads fill with dread as red as mother Mars. Growing internally giants or beanstalks could never be this tall. I whisper worry falsely as I always survive my falls. Stronger than the sadness or sorrow that preys upon my soul, I am secretly all that I will ever need to one day be whole. Daily threats of tears that skim the surface of my eyes, although disheartening, will never be enough for me to reject the sun's majestic rise. I will climb the highest mountains, and be faster than the speed of light. Just call me superhuman, the one who will never fail to make it right. I can shape-shift and perform, make you feel at ease. My retractable claws and healing will bring you to your knees. This time won't you save me, your words echo in my ears; in turn, I will run, leap tall buildings, clearing Gotham City of all of your fears. Mind control will make you revere me, I will be your motivation, and your boss. As your lips and hips lose all self-control, your mind will no longer be lost. Walking on water I feel so light and carefree, the wilderness inside is now devoid of life and trees. I have the power to control everything that exists within my land. I can make it rain or snow with just a flick, a twist, of my stormy hands. Magic courses through my veins, it is the beat that makes my bionic heart be real; Tin Man timid as I pretend that I am unable to feel. Writer by day, lifesaver by night as I don my cape and mask. You give me poison, and kryptonite when your support is what I really want to fill my fading flask.

Surrender.

Your coffee stained heart is devoid of caffeine now, as you buried me alive, in your hostility I drowned. Our white sheets have been dyed red, to match the blood that was spilled, yet a flicker of hope remains that this is just another fire drill. Your cauldron of hatred bubbles over, burning me like the sun's apocalyptic flares, though all I ever wanted was for someone, anyone, to be there. Bravery has abandoned me, there is no courage left in my cowardly lion heart, benevolent but broken before we even had a chance to fill the pages of our lives with beautiful art. Stop, this was all a farce, that has left my memories jaded, and scattered so sparse. Your charade will be a hard act to follow, novocaine numb now with a heart that is twice as hollow. My white flag hangs at half-mast in honour of my demise, as crocodile tears sprout, then sting, as they trail down your face, and stain your sorry eyes. My world was in disarray, as it yearned to be your oyster, now I stumble through the streets, staggering as I roister. I berate you for taking me out too deep when I can hardly swim, the chances of us rekindling our romance now are eating disorder slim. I trim the fat hoping to gain insight in good time, putting an end to the cycle now, you were the most maleficent mime. You claimed that you loved me, that you would support my frivolous falls, but in the end your abhorrence for me seeped through making me feel so small. Lower than I have ever been, I shut the door to you, my heart will not be receptive anymore as it refuses to accept that you have dyed it with the blues. My sweet surrender to you led me right into death's hands, so go directly to jail, do not pass GO, you were merely a depiction of a man. Poster of a boy you had me fooled for far too long, please fly away home, and leave me again, this is the end of our love song.

Blues.

The blues inside my soul ebb and flow as they hit the shore. Some days they are light, and I am still able to make it through the night. But the navy and royal blues blind me to the point where I am unsure of what to do. Self-awareness resides within each fibre, every pore; yet my sorrow remains, guilt, not love, will live here forevermore. The performer in me refuses to quit the show, this facade, although old, is all that I have ever known. Unoccupied and as available as if I've made no plans, the fury at my future grows, why do I refuse to become a man? Every breath that I exhale is filled with endless lies, as I attempt to no avail to conceal the sadness in my melancholy eyes. The notes of youth that once remained became frustrated and then faded. As I fight my many monstrous selves from becoming a joke so jaded. I see the light yet refuse to accept that it may save me; instead I avoid the catalysts that may positively change me. This water is poisoned, murky, dark, and dirty brown. I cannot continue to stay lost when I have already discovered the many ways in which I can be found. Delusion hides amid the corridors of the home that I call life, as I search, beg, then plead for a cure to kill my strife. I am my own worst critic, two thumbs down every single time, although somewhere, someone deep inside me convinces me that I am sublime. My mind, my greatest weapon, keeps me safe, and comforts me. But misery loves company, so my demons prevent my mind and heart from finding a way to be happy. I was once so frigid that my heartbeat froze inside my chest. Since then, I have joined the ranks of the emotional, the eerie rest. The tears, they come, and drown my face with gloom, like a flower full of dreams that was too afraid to bloom. The lost little boy inside me holds tighter to his mother's hand, disregarding the many routes that he knows will lead to his promised land. Beguiled, but bespooked, he treads lightly on new feet before encumbering his confidence and with it, self-relief. Yes, I can prosper, and one day feel the breeze, that exists solely within the summer and dances around my knees. Joy will one day come, sliding down the rays of the sun, and that is when I know that I have finally come full circle, when I know that I am my only one. My aquamarine heart cannot decide to be blue or green. So teal it is, as fresh as the Mediterranean Sea, so pure and thus, pristine. Blue, the colour of the tears that streak my face, the same tears that are as desperate as prisoners in search of a better place. The Blue Mosque and the prayers it holds could not hold a candle to my heart, as my moon grows weaker, and slowly betrays its shooting stars. If variety is the spice of life, why do these blues drown me? The indigo ink that's sealed my fate has taken its toll on me. The spirits that linger around my soul have even shunned the shadow I have become as I beseech the universe and God to, once again, make me emotionally numb. Out of sight, out of mind most say, yet this type of cliche has never been enough to save my rainy days. Waterfalls, tattoo tears are as unpleasant as uninvited guests, as they reveal the person inside that is different from the rest. These thoughts race as fast as Olympians aiming to win gold; rarely consoled, they spiral downwards and suddenly spin out of control. Hopeful, yet hesitant as I unravel and unfold; I know without a doubt I will regain my life that you, and the emptiness within had almost stole.

Island.

The shouts and screams subside leaving me cowering in fear, yet realizing it's impossible to find somewhere safe to hide from my troubles so dear. This darkness within me, pitch black as forty days of night, has robbed me of my senses, as I have lost my will to fight. These walls I have built so strong come crashing down leaving me in the wake of their destruction, I stand in my own way, evoking insecurities within, I am my only obstruction, and the cause of my own suffering. In an instant, the security blankets I weave are pulled away, provoking me to find another with the ability to comfort me like the sun's golden, effervescent rays. I search high, and then low, hoping to find a cure or reason, but instead get tossed aside, time and time again as if I have committed the worst kind of treason. I lived my life wrapped inside a bubble of hope that has just burst, the pain, and agony that seep through make me believe that nothing could be worse. Now silence pierces the solace, and serenity of my reverie, as every friendly face turns away from my sullen misery. Sadness lines my silver clouds threatening to create a hurricane of depression, failing to repress, in turn I cannot make an impression. My dreams were once so big, I sailed amongst the stars, now I gasp for air, as I find myself drifting further into space, and closer to mysterious Mars. I tried to be an island, refused help of any kind, but now I see that I am more of an inlet, dependent on rivers, and the oceans, how was I so blind? My breaking push to start heart refuses to beat, leaving me breathless, and naked, running wildly through the streets. My siren wails like a slaughtered siren's ethereal calls, the monsters that lie dormant silently slither in the shadows, and wait until I am fast asleep to begin their crawl. They ravenously eat my confidence, my sense of self lies broken on the floor, yet somehow I remain confused, and in denial when I wake up the next day, feeling as empty as a biblical whore. Dire, dark, and derelict, my future crashes into the shore, like a tsunami's angry waves, there is not a single place that I feel safe anymore. My heart threatens to let out, exhausted once and for all, my final swan song restlessly waits in the green room, anxiously anticipating for its name to be called. Once the tears dry on their own, I thank God that I have survived. Just another day in the life, yet somehow I managed to see a little piece of beauty, and count my blessings, I have never felt this alive.

Clown.

If imitation is the highest form of flattery, why does your carbon copy of me fill me with rage? Born deficient and inbred, without enough personality to even fill half a page. Your adoration was endearing at first, I wore it like a ribbon, you were the prized pig, until we parted ways, and you continued to assume that you were still as big. I gave you your confidence, yet created a monster in the process, played you like a pawn in a life sized game of Chess. You were pathetic at your best, as you had me fooled to believe that you were different from the rest. Instead, I wish I had seen through your facade, and realized that you were a mistake, and hardly an act of God. Your own mother barely knew whose seed you had sprouted from, with a complete lack of ambition, you were best suited to dwell within the slums like sickening scum. Your rotten teeth were so decayed, your breath reeked of failure, and the foul odour of stale bandaids. The people you assumed were friends laughed at you, and called you names, as they realized with each passing day that you were easily defeated at your own games. It's no wonder why your lovers past betrayed you, and then strayed, as it became so clear to me, that you would implode, then self-destruct like a grenade. Landmines and shrapnel lined the streets that you called home, you are a creature of the gutter, statues made of excrement were the closest that you would ever get to Rome. A clown at your very best, your jaded, jilted jest was hardly a test but more of the catalyst that set me free, and showed me that you were merely the detour that I needed to take, in order to remind myself of how to truly be happy. Jumping from one vine to the next, your demented Tarzan refused to take the time to accomplish anything slightly more complex. Each of your suitors worse than the last, you are a joke that haunts me from the past. Lie to yourself some more, as you continue to commit identity theft, fortunately I know who I am, so I will not be left bereft. I have no reason to seek revenge for your retribution will occur through your next foolish lovers binge. Keep searching the world for the love that you refuse to even give yourself, you are a parody of human life, a mere toddler's toy forgotten high upon a thrift store's shelf. Your own sister refused to give you the respect of being loyal, though she was a total dog; the warts will soon begin to sprout upon your face, as you get left behind amidst the clouds of fog. Return to the circus with your sideshow freaks in your clown cars, you were a small town eight, but in the city, you were never up to par. Rarely the prince, and always the frog, your future already looks so grim; so pucker up, and taste death's kiss, already out too deep when you can hardly swim. Drowning in debt, you deserve it all, keep rolling in the deep, future lovers will surely be smart enough to see that you are just another sickening sheep.

Shipwreck.

Sardonic scars severely surround my seven seas, as critical razorblade kisses caress my sunkissed knees. I can play at happy, plaster a smile upon my frowning face, and pretend that it is all okay. But pretenses never get me far, nor will they create rainbows in my skies that are coloured in greys. Daunting death daringly beckons me asking me to come out and play, yet I refuse to give up, or give in, as I grow stronger with each new dreamfilled day. I disassociate myself from the mundane, and toxic strangers who were once so close, as my friendly future fondly promises that it will never fail to keep me engrossed. Your hatred, once my lullaby, no longer translates into words, as your soul is restless now, without control over me, your heart flutters, and flaps inside you like the clipped wings of a caged bird. All the ups, and downs, and highs, and lows, have poisoned my poetic prose, like coratid kisses from a cancerous, and thorny rose. For every lie you tell, the worse your karma grows, like a new age Pinocchio, you will not realize it until blood pours from your nose. Each and every orifice will burn, burst, and then explode, until the screams within you reach fever pitch, and your skin begins to itch, and then corrode. The acid inside you will surface then pop, burning you from the inside out, as the ghosts of Christmas future will beg, and shout, praying for salvation from the endless doubts. Your erstwhile rainforests are now barren and bare, burned to the ground, as mother nature worryingly wails in dire despair; you have killed mother Earth, and defiled her worth, with your lackadaisical legacy, and self-righteous rebirth. Your ego's army would fight the most foolish wars, rape and pillage the poor, then make its women and children your whores. You assume to be worthy of every kingdom under the sun, but assumption is a fool's trait, and you are contestant number one. My journey will lead me to the highest mountains, and the furthest lands, I will paint the world with wonder, every goal will be attainable, and every wish, my command. You are still trapped in your magic lamp, your confidence is damp, as you are as cheap, and common as recession era food stamps. In the end, you will see that lady luck has tricked you, and left you behind, in a trail full of scattered misery. Your pitiful pride, and sense of entitlement will be inscribed upon your tombstone once your inabiity to accept responsibility becomes the reason that you have died. I observe you from the sidelines as your train derails, creating chaos and mass confusion like the beseeching cries of bellowing beached whales. If only you had listened to your conscience, perhaps you would not have been dispensed. Not a single survivor save for me managed to escape from your shipwreck. it is time to wake up or get left behind, this is your final reality check.

Oil Spill.

Child, it's time to grow up before you drink too greedily out of life's cup. Recognize when you are wrong, accept it when you fail, or prepare for a lifetime filled with ships that refuse to sail. The difference between a man and a boy, is that a man always accepts what he cannot change, and is never coy. You are merely a mouse, disguised in man's clothing; the object of my pity, and the epitome of loathing. You cry to the skies, berating God for all of your troubles. Krishna would not even answer you, but instead would let you boil, and bubble. Berating the world for the monkies that sit upon your back, even though all it would take, is retracing your tracks. What is it that changed, and made you so deranged? How did you turn so yellow, when you claimed to be the strongest fellow? Your nine lives are almost over, and you are left with only one; this might as well be 2012 as you emit flares like the sun. You will die soon, and your lack of legacy will be left behind. You have not a single friend to whom you have been unkind. They claim to support you, yet you leave them dancing in the dark; hoping to get sympathy for each, and every foolish farce. You are a clown in your own right, once you were so sweet. Now you're left careening wildly through traffic lined streets. I would never curse you, as you have already sealed your own fate, as I await the date that you find destiny and its rude awakenings atop your plate. Eat and drink freely of the substances, and lies that will surely lead to your demise; as your emotions refuse to surface since you removed the tear ducts from your eyes. You will fail, and falter, it's as guaranteed as the sunrise, abandoned at the altar, for your endless lies. What a sad situation you are, as you claim to be a star though you've fallen from the sky, I pray that you will wake up, before your actions cause the beauty within you to die. Peter Pan, you refuse to grow up, Oedipus Rex, fix your complex. All I ever wanted was someone who matched me well, but you were the makings of a monster from within the depths of Hell. Poked, prodded, and provoked me until I was filled with hate, your actions, and your words ultimately sealed your fate. Pray for forgiveness, repent as soon as you can, before Princess Karma takes notice and deals your next hand. I wash my hands clean, and walk away from your landfill; you killed all my marine life, you were my worst ecological oil spill. Whales, dolphins, and sharks alike struck you, and attempted to eat you until they went on strike. Much to their dismay, you were sadly born this way; lost from day one, it was predetermined that you would direly decay.

Midnight in Paris.

Two roads converged at the foot of a snow covered hill, one would surely lead to treasures while the other led downhill. I chose the former, for once in my life, as it glittered like gold. I was ecstatic, and so relieved, to have found someone so dear to hold. You are worth your weight in diamonds, pearls pale in comparison to your smile. The light behind your eyes fills me with wonder, and makes me pray that you will stay awhile. For once, body, heart, soul, and mind agree that you may just be the best thing to ever happen to me. All my troubles seem so far away now that you are near; your ability to listen, selflessly, makes me hopeful for future years. Together we will map the world, sip tea at noon in London, spend midnights in Paris, and then wake up to breakfast in Dublin. We can eat baguettes as we walk through the Parisian rain, dance along the river Seine, then indulge our senses as the Louvre works magic in our brains. My attraction to you is as solid as la tour Eiffel, take me in your arms, and watch my heart swell. My ego has finally been put to rest, I no longer react to jealous, jilted jokers or their jaded jest; on this quest, I have learned to live, and let live, to let go when need be, as the closer we grow, the more you set me free. I have been freed from the chains of oppression that once were, no longer filled with the obsessions that made life a blur. Instead, I stop and smell the roses with you, watch others take one step, as we take two. This love is effortless, effervescent, too, as you complement me perfectly, nothing is taboo. You have chased away the blues with the green, and hazel specks that dance inside your eyes, as I long to improve myself so I can be the man for you whose beauty is as majestic as the most beautiful sunrise. Your velvet kisses make me weak in the knees, as you whisper words reminiscent of a tropical breeze. We can sail the seas, explore this life as we walk hand in hand, I no longer believe you to be a figment of my imagination, nor an illusion, but instead, my promised land.

Mutiny

Cooler than the summer breeze, I have the power deep inside that brings you crashing down to your knees. You test me with your spitefulness, disdainful as the rose's thorny kiss, yet still I rise higher than the trees that caress the clouds like a trapeze. I am the only one I know in this flock of sheep that dares to question all I hear, my senses may attempt to fool me, yet I am not held up by strings, and you are not my puppeteer. The days they blur into nights, yet the fire inside fails to be doused, my determination has ignited a strength, a will, a promise that remains devout. It fills me with the utmost cheer, as I realize that I remain, consistent until the day I die, stronger with each passing year. I have risen from the ashes, a thousand times, as my wings refuse to catch aflame, paid my dues for many crimes, no longer a victim of your social concept known as shame. You can not hold a candle to me on your brightest day, I am the star that refuses to fall to Earth, I picked up the pieces that you left behind, as I have finally caught a glimpse of my own self worth. Indestructible until the bitter end, your hate crimes are not good here anymore, as I learn to be my own best friend, I am no longer privy to your games of war. Once a lonely piece in your relentless game of Chess, I repented and caught sight of the disarray that resided within your chest, you dared to refer to it as a heart, until it denied me of the love you claimed that it would give me from the start. So instead, I turn the other cheek, and take solace in knowing that I am not weak, burn the bridge that leads to you, as I paint with vibrancy and colour, no longer restricted to sullen shades of blue. Dusk falls on your city, as your soldiers fall to the ground, this is my reprieve, my mutiny, ecstatic that my heart still beats, was lost but I am found.

Wicked.

In the middle again, I found myself caught between evil and good. To grandmother's house I go, as I don my cape like Red Riding Hood. Unbeknownst to me, you were always the wolf, so big and bad; the little boy who cried lies, as hot tears stream endlessly onto my writing pad. I sat in the corner and pulled a blade out of my depressing pie, crossed my heart like hot cross buns, as I watched you stick a needle in my eye. You are the muffin man from Drury Lane who fed me cakes full of delusion and drugs, poisoned and delerious as I tried to trade them in for hugs. I left a trail of crumbs in the hopes that I would find my way home soon, pruck my finger on a loom, as I anxiously anticipated the arrival of someone who could make me swoon. This little piggy had dignity, the other piggy had none, as I hoped in my heart of hearts that I would stop tricking myself into believing that you were the one. Even Mary's little lamb would refuse to keep you company, misery will turn the other cheek as well, on your tainted tragedy. You tried to bury me young yet I rose from the dead with resilience running through my veins, consistent as my blood is red. I take my communion, drink thirstily of my wine, and eat my Christly bread. You were the spider that sat down beside her, devoid of logic or reason, with blood full of cider. You granted me three wishes, selflessly, I made them all about you as that had become the trend. Our life was filled with make believe, we were the most skilled actors as we continued to pretend. Like Bo Peep, I lost all of my sheep, yet my will to survive remained. I caught your social disease, then cursed myself knowing all along that I should have just abstained. Your green eggs and ham heart made me sick as I choked on the bile that I tasted on my tongue. You were the cancerous nicotine that became my addiction, the cause for my blackened, smoke filled lungs. So I do the right thing, push you furhter away, and find my way back to good in search of a brighter day. No more manipulating me, or monopolozing my time, I have regained my voice, no longer willing to be written into your twisted nursery rhymes. You might be a self-proclaimed Mother Goose, but save your morals for your own time. The fables that you attempted to turn into lessons, were mere double standards and your most critical crimes. All cried out now, I peel myself off of you, as I inhale the fresh air, and see that I am no longer your own personal punching bag, no more subdued little boy blue.

Out of Sight.

Teardrop waterfalls stain my eyes like the sun that refused to rise, my heart cries endlessly for the man I was supposed to become, numb, I hang my head low, deaf, blind, and now dumb. Enchanted once, but now I turn to distractions instead to make me whole, as the smoke fills the air, disappearing from life's bowl. Grandiose lies, schemes full of wasted effort, and wasted tries. My skin begins to sag, hanging loosely from my bodice, like a novice, I realize that I am my own future's artist. On my own hit list, I became my biggest threat; full of regrets, sadness poured from my soul, drowned my sorrows with toxins until my veins rejected the poison that I injected. Dejected, I object to becoming infected. Always the town fool, the little boy who cried lies, whispers progress into shouts and then screams, as time speeds up, and shows us how it flies. My face, once the cause for envy of many others my age, melted, stripped, and burned off until it showed the underlying rage. Caged, but never broken, my freedom remained within my mind, you could take it all, less mighty warriors have picked themselves up from worse falls. Yet, still I stall, confused, refusing to join the ranks of the rest, avoiding routine, as if it were the most petulant pest. Rivers of agony stream from my eyes into oceans that are now devoid of life, the strife I have experienced has made sorrow my wife. See no evil, yet I hear, and speak it all the time as I slowly lose my vision, the more my heart becomes set on a life filled with crime. The bells begin to toll but never chime, hoping to make me see that I am running out of time. Out of sight, and hopefully one day out of mind, fury fills my burning inferno heart that has been maligned. With hardly any gasoline left inside my tank, I assume the fetal position, and let the pain flank within my chest, as I digress, devoid of my once sweet disposition; I am left with nothing but a mess. Everything in disarray, no longer in its right place, learn to fly and save me, as my soul floats up to outer space.

Promised Land.

Your smile lights up my days like the morning sun. At night, you illuminate my world, my moon, you are the one. Your eyes filled with fiery embers, radiance emanates deep within, molten rock and lava blow your cover when it's clear that you are suffering. The same eyes that are filled with pools of wonder, with such vast expanses of wisdom that I could get lost. My mind is your playground, and your heart is my home; tell me all your secrets as we set sail for Rome. I kiss my feet for leading me down the path that ended at your own; majestically, you own me, as you help me climb atop your throne. The hands, and arms that hold me might as well be impenetrable castle walls, like a cushion, you are my comfort, as you protect me from my falls. Your ears listen endlessly, never hinting at judgment or mistrust, the chemicals between us bubble, fizz, pop, and spontaneously combust. Laughter fills our home from the wee hours of the morning until late at night, there is a fire within me that threatens to control me, you are the kindest knight. Now if only I could find someone to make these words ring true, my idealistic future would surely begin to brew. Until then, I will wait refusing to settle for footprints in the sand, one day I will find my salvation, you will be my promised land.

Home.

Time stands still, and for the longest moment I look into your eyes in which I see reflected the most magnificent sunrise. Reds dance with flecks of yellows, and golden ember hues, as you wash over me in waves, your music takes away the blues. The radiance you emanate feels greater than the sun, your heatwave encompasses me, you just might be the one. My glass heart is known to shatter at the slightest indiscrepancy, so take me in your arms, as we swim together under the sea. I will be your orchestra, conduct me as you please, just as long as you promise to continue to soothe me like the summer's sultry breeze. I want to do with you what spring does to the cherry trees, cleanse me, make me blossom, and come give me my release. In return, I will provide you with my shoulder when you are sad and down, and assist you gain your balance in order to find solid ground. It has been way too long since someone else has also seen my worth, your eyes make my world go round, you are quickly becoming the centre of my Earth. Perpetually lost but rarely found, you make me feel brand new, as winter turns to spring I look around and I am reminded of the beauty that is you. Like Zeus, you are the god that resides within my skies, and through my countless slips and falls, you remain patient, and never make me feel unwise. The passion within me rises to the surface, overflows, and then I burst, as I dive into your smile with arms wide open, always headfirst. I looked before I leaped and was overjoyed with what waited for me below, my heart skips a beat, as your love excites me until I am aglow. Bursting at the seams, I rip, and fireworks explode; I am euphoric that my soul coerced me to follow this road Illuminated from the inside out, I smile until it hurts, no longer as isolated, or as arid as the Sahara desert. I am coming, I have arrived, and love that you feel like home to me, I may have many locks and guards, but you are the sole owner of the skeleton key. Follow me, as I take the lead, we will fly higher than Everest, soaring together harmoniously, I am grateful that you exist.

Social Comparisons

I may not have the nicest house, or the prettiest car, but one thing I know is that I have the kindest heart. Money might make you shine, and then glisten but if you silence the corporate slave within you long enough to just listen. You will see the beauty that surrounds you, each and every day; from the flowers that blossom without fail, and the skies that switch from blue to black to grey. The world is your oyster yet you choose to defile its worth, as you tear down the rainforests with vehicles that further pollute the Earth. Your oil spill may be your thrill, but it washes over me, blackens my body, and feels just like a pill. The kind that you swallow and makes you instantly sick, the type that was manufactured just to give you the intellect of a brick. They keep you supressed, opressed, and deranged, as the chemicals, and endorphins within your brain are rearranged. Estranged now, that you have joined the ranks of the rest, jaded and confused, as you continue your quest. How did the little boy who wanted it all become this creature of corruption that fails to enthral? I choose to break free, to rebel, and protest; refuse to feign ignorance, and be the victim of others' jest. I am worth my weight in diamonds, yet I choose nature instead. I insert lotus flowers into your guns, to represent the millions dead. Your world is so bleak, with supermodels painted to represent the havoc that man has wreaked. I am antique, as I stay true to my values, without losing hope with the progression of the days of the week. With your tongue in cheek, you waddle away, doing the dance of the insecure with your tails between your legs. You rarely have much to say, even on your brightest day, I have had more interesting conversations with bacon and eggs. Continue on your path that you think will lead to your salvation, as I watch from a distance and see the devil poke, and prod at you, guaranteeing your eternal damnation. Not self-righteous but right as I awaken from the night with the strength within me to spread my wings and take flight. I can make social comparisons no more, as I am starting to feel as dirty, and remorseful as the common whore. You can have your caviar, gold, and what you naively believe to be the finer things. As I feel the breeze from the trees, whilst pushing my children on swings. Success to me is being happy, inside and out. You can fade to black once again, as happiness fills me throughout, while the haze of your confusion lifts, and your world is once again filled with doubt.

Healing.

Once as chaste as a newborn lamb, temptation became my test, although I failed the exam, and joined the ranks of the rancorous rest. I could have had it all, as I set fire to the rain, if only I had the effort within me, to rise from the ashes once again. How does one get closure when their heart refuses to close? After all the words I should never have uttered escalated into blows? The cowardice within me was what prevented this man from being more than just a mouse, as we could have made a home together, but were barely even left with just a house. My cries, and pleas are drowned out by the sirens of defeat, as I left you bruised, and broken, careening wildly through the streets. Your smile was enough to light the city for a week, yet your silence resulted in me feeling like I had my tongue inside my cheek. Meek, and morbid is the aftermath of this man that was once a lion, our civilization could have been more illustrious than the Mayans. Yet instead we lost it all, traded in our diamonds for rubies that were much too small. The rings around my fingers, and the chains around my neck, bear witness to the ship that we abandoned, and then wrecked. Secure now, and safe once more in another's arms, no longer facing harm from the daggers that I had mistaken for your charms. Begrudgingly you judge me with backhanded compliments and words covered in scorn, yet I will always rise above, watch you fade to black, as I have been reborn. No longer torn between two worlds, dislodged myself from your broken pearls. Foolish of me to believe we could ever be friends, now that the red flags are back, and so are the trends. Your predictable patterns cannot be concealed, as I see through your facade, and know that you are not real. Just a figment of my imagination, you are but a mere shadow in the dark, as I check under the beds to ensure that you haven't left your mark. I now sip the finest wines, vintage, antique, and brand new, as you silently seethe with scorn from the acrid taste of your own stew. You brought me down and strove to make me your misery's company, but our waters were devoid of life, similar to the dead sea. I wash my hands clean of you, lather, rinse, and then repeat; no longer willing to compete, as it turned out that we both would cheat. No more thinking of you as I bid you adieu, the karma I have accrued has only grown since the likes of you. You rusted my heart like turpentine, so I will never again be thine, as I breathed a sigh of relief once our bodies separated, eternally grateful that our paths are no longer entwined. Ready to heal and move on to reach higher ground, watched my love come down, as my smile returned, no longer a frown. Silly of me to think you were the one, when you were hardly equipped with the ability to stun; shunned, I have turned my back to you, and the past. I was born to survive, as I will always outwit, outplay, and outlast.

Wasted.

One last look at you, as my face filled with disgust; your pathetic lust, and inability to be alone, turned your body into rust. You feign happiness, as you walk around acting oblivious, ignorant, and hideous, yet you're really not all that mysterious. To the untrained eye, you may seem like a prize, but intelligent minds can see that you are really just disguised. Like the beast in beauty's clothing, your packaging was more appealing than your fruit. If you dare to look this way one more time, you will surely get the boot from my abundant loot. Concealed within a web of lies, you naively assumed that happiness could only come from another's eyes. Rotten, barren, and bare, your skin will one day hang from your bones like your mother's stringy, foul-smelling hair. Pull out a chair, and watch me some more, as you emulate my persona, until you cannot find yourself anymore. You may think you have it all, and that the wonders of the world reside within you, but your walls will surely fall, revealing the ingredients that collaborate to create your toxic stew. Completely devoid of self-awareness, your kisses stung like acid, as your breath reeked of piss. You were an animal in your own right, white trash at its very best, once undressed, you failed to pass the dick test, as I laughed at your jaded jest. On your quest, you failed to find the security within yourself to be with anyone you considered on your level, dishevelled and horrendous were the suitors in your lineup that you had managed to bedevil. Yet then I came along, like the sweetest rose you had ever smelled; in the wrong, you threw your hangups out the window as I joined the rest and gave you Hell. Berated you for your stupidity, and lack of confidence; insecurity lined the streets of your city, and prevented you from being anybody's prince. Tsunamis will wash away the likes of you, flooding over you, and giving you a rinse; you can trick yourself into believing whatever you want, yet the rest of the world still remains unconvinced. Die a death of dreariness, doused in disdain, and decay; you were the weakest link to date, as you cried endlessly, and turned my love to hate. You are a wasted, ungrateful little schmuck, be appreciative that you got to taste this, you dirty little fuck. Rest in pieces with your weaklings, enjoy the life that left you long ago. Devoid of you my world is full of wonder, and excitement, and once again my future is aglow.

Instant.

Caught in a whirlwind of emotions as I race to reach the finish line, like some rivers lead to oceans, mine only seemed to lead me to landmines. Maligned, and derailed for the path that I have chosen, I will smarten up, and focus, as my heart thaws out, no longer frozen. I wash the tears away, as I record them while they circle the drain, one's train needs to get wrecked, in order to be whole again. Born again, revived, as I vow to return to being my own best friend. Half my life was spent in the shadows with the deranged, rearranged until my world was in disarray, and no longer looked the same. Tricked myself once, shame on me, fooled me twice, then drowned myself in a lake filled with my own self-pitying misery. I could either go through the motions or force myself to stay devoted, my future was once so bright, and then it just started to seem like it had been aborted. Short-circuited, won't function anymore, as I was tomorrow's child, then started to become yesterday's whore. I abhorred the stares but only because I was uncomfortable with myself, had to realize that self-love was more important than the social disease known as success that I placed higher upon my shelf. I came out of my shell, only to recede into it hours later, watched my emotions as they went up and down, like an unruly, and possessed elevator. Roller coasters of depression aligned the streets of my amusement park, forcing me to admit that my life was becoming another farce that was just dark. The stars began to shun me, the man in the moon cut me off forevermore; yet I still waited, staring through the peephole, to see who was going to show up at my front door. Would it be death, full of sadness, and decay? Or would it be the game of life, beckoning for me to come out and play? I answered, with an open mind, curious to see what I would find, surprised myself upon realizing that somehow I was no longer in a bind. Misery loved company but I had her removed, crossed my heart and prayed to live, immediately reaping the benefits that my soul approved. Improved, I managed to find my way through the darkness where my shadow lived, from this moment, I will no longer silently accept the lack of joy that I refuse to live and give. Turbulence was hit, as my ambulance careened through traffic lined streets, in an instant all was fixed, no longer willing to concede to my defeat.

Kindred.

After treading through murky waters, and surviving my darkest hour, I somehow managed to find a beacon of hope, no longer preparing myself for slaughter. You took my hand into your own, and now hold the key to my heart; I trust that you will keep it safe, even as the distance between us keeps us apart. Your eyes, the windows to your soul, are filled with kindness as they console; I accept that you might just be the missing piece that will make my puzzle whole. There has yet to be a dull moment, as minutes turn into hours as your voice caresses me through the phone; I am enamoured in my entirety as I can see that your body is devoid of a single wicked bone. Revenge and vindictiveness are quickly becoming ghosts from my torrid past, my heart races fast as it hopes this feeling never fades away, and will always last. Adventure and excitement align the forests of this enchanted land, as I meander through your Narnia, similar to Houdini, your every wish is now my command. Ready to embark on this endeavour, I have surrendered and hung my white flag, like a newborn puppy, your every move makes my tail wag. Moses' promised land exists within your smile, I think therefore I exist, as I promise you that I will be here for the longest while. The tears flow no more, as the rivers within me have now dried, I will not walk ahead or behind you, but hand in hand, and always beside. Hope floats, and will surely ebb and flow just like the tide, agape flows through my veins once more, so grateful that our paths collided, and are now aligned. Serenity, and adoration fill my heart, as I will be forever indebted to you for wanting to also be mine. Your kisses, and touch send chasms of quivers up and down my spine, I thank the Heavens as I feel blessed and fortunate to have found a kindred spirit who is truly one of a kind.

Clarity 2.0.

Treaded through the darkness, and made it through the storms, as we encountered deserts, that threatened to ruin us from their warmth. The hurricanes between us ebbed and flowed until our boat was rocked, earthquakes created chasms of distance, as if our success were blocked. Tsunamis ripped apart our cities, and pirates tried to force us to abandon ship, causing me to question whether we were well enough equipped. Tidal waves rose and washed their victims ashore, yet somehow we managed to survive the subzero temperatures of our very own cold war. While it was calm, and through the rain, I saw you standing there, looking vulnerable once again. I asked myself if I was ready for another round, surprised myself when I found that I still had the strength to pursue this love that is profound. Without fail, and devoid of a single doubt within my mind, I knew I could not let go, as our love turned out to be one of a kind. Who else was I to talk to when my smile began to fade, who was going to save me from my own personal queen of spades? I swallowed my pride, and willed myself to find the strength to confide in you once more; hopped on for one more ride, hoping once again to fill my heart with our love's decor. You are the kindest knight to ever capture my downtrodden heart, the only one that dared to tear down the walls that you encountered from the start. Your persistence is endearing, and fills me with such joy, to see that I am not merely an option, and not just another child's toy. Although the Mayans may have predicted the end, our love would have kept Nostradamus guessing. I see now, through new eyes, that what we have is entirely a blessing. Kiss me, tease me, satisfy, and heal me, all I want is for you to feel me. Take my hand into your own, and look into my onyx eyes, let's sail the world, oh the places we'll go, and experience the majesty of the many suns as they rise. Ecstatic beyond recognition that we have been granted a reprise, I am more grateful than you will ever know to have you to hold until the end of time.

Fairy Tale.

I pick up the pieces that line the shores of the beaches of our love that will linger forevermore. Your eyes filled with sadness from the tears I made you cry, the same tears that drowned me, and made me choke at night. The hardest part was finding you, my soul's kindred mate, only to reap the consequences from the damage I caused that ultimately sealed our fate. As the master of my domain, I longed to right my wrongs, to make you feel the rhythm, and the lyrics of my heart's song. In you, I saw a future filled with fortune, fame, and fun; as my soul's cries resonated, telling me you are the one. The one to make my puzzle whole, your wishes, my command, as you make my bells endlessly toll, follow me to the promised land. On our magic carpet ride, we somehow lost our way, forced to land, and separate, until we meet one another halfway. From this day forth, I promise to only put smiles on your face, and if you feel restless or afraid, I will rescue you, and never let you fall from grace. I will grow my hair long, just to let it down, so you can climb up, and escape. Abracadabra, no magic tricks, just love, hidden inside my cape. At the end of my rainbow, I found you, more precious than diamonds, or a pot of gold. I just wish I had not intervened with fate, and let our story unfold. If only I had listened to your heart, our fairy tale would still be told. Enchanted to say the least, my woods are now haunted by your memory. I lie awake at night, cursing myself for interrupting our peaceful reverie. I would do whatever it takes to have you back here with me, walking hand in hand, as we continue on our intended journey. Your arms removed the pain that was no stranger to my life, and wiped away the tears that were the sole remnants of my strife. Your hands held the glass slipper that would only fit as a result of your touch, and the necklace worn around my neck that held your voice is now tightly clutched. My shooting star that fell from the Heavens, and filled my world with light; you are irreplaceable, as my world is now blanketed in night. The breadcrumbs that I discarded along the path were meant to help me find my way, but instead I have fallen prey to witchery, and somehow gone astray. I conquered the beanstalk, but not the giant, who turned out to me in disguise. My own worst critic until the end, but hopefully not the cause of our love's demise. We sail through the skies aboard a ship that will lead us to our salvation, you are my saviour, and my knight, the object of my jubilation. Our fairy tale has just begun, kings and queens will envy the majesty of our land, I long to one day make you understand, that you are the only man I will accept again, as part of my life's plan. I can no longer run or hide, the coward in me has been coerced to leave, trust in me, and my words, we can start anew, just be the Adam to my Eve.

Unicorn

All this loneliness has always been a friend of mine, as I let go of my mother’s hand, and assumed my future would be fine. I locked the doors to my heart, saved the key for another start, watched you walk away after making your mark, then gave my ticket away and prepared to disembark. Critical until the bitter end, the shadows even taunt me proving that freedom is just around the bend, easy to comprehend, but difficult to apply, with a sigh I let it out, and spread my wings, ready to transcend. Ignored, and defeated, my army’s ego takes a beating, as my heart’s ripped out of my chest, and like a hemophiliac, I am left bleeding. Cries of confusion cajole coarsely through the air, barricading beauty from the beast that was barely there. Antagonistic anarchy aims to arrive to no avail, as I am all that I can be, an adventurer in search of the holy grail. I nurtured the seed of love, hoped to watch it grow before it went stale, only to be forced to accept that the heart is actually frail. Disembowelled, and dishevelled, I look like the victim of a late night alley fight, as the demons that hold me hostage, set out to make things right. I could be vindictive, and cut you with your own knife, but homicide is not the answer, the coldest revenge would be your life. Blame it on the alcohol, assume that we were drunk, then correct me with red ink, make your mark so I can flunk. You watch me walk away, and feign interest although I know it’s fake, we are now oceans apart, waterfalls seldom connect to lakes. Love is never enough when it is covered in blame, we were so quick to point the finger, without accepting that this was not a game. Toiled, troubled, tirelessly until we were tainted through and through, if only I could somehow make you see, that my love was nothing, if not true. I placed you on a pedestal, packed up, and sailed toward a brave new world, only to realize that I was incapable of love, incomplete, like an oyster who failed to deliver a pearl. Emasculated in the end, we ruined a perfectly good thing, yet somehow, inexplicably, you have not ceased to be my everything. Celestial bodies, suns, and moons could fall to the Earth, and our love would still survive, Euthanasia was the weapon that prevented our love from being revived. Compromise, and sacrifice can only be a two way street, yet impossible to achieve unless devoid of conceit. My castle walls come crashing down, leaving my security in disarray, I was the black swan that poisoned your ballet. One day in the future, you will see what you have lost, and I will be waiting with arms wide open, with my heart that you managed to defrost. I will count my blessings, cut my losses and accept that I need to be reborn, before I continue on my quest to find my unicorn. I am all out of the fight, no longer afraid to fail; no holy grail, or magic for me, I see now that they are merely myths, and only true in fairy tales.

Breakaway

Falling apart, ripping at the seams, as I accept the mess that's left behind from another broken dream. The tears fail to come for these eyes refuse to weep for someone who's decided that I am not worth the effort to keep. I made an effort to change, only saw you in my mind and heart, but our fears materialized, so it was over before it could even start. The sadness I possess in watching our fairy tale fail, makes me wonder, and question whether love will ever prevail. True to myself, I refuse to sacrifice more than I have inside, when it seems so easy for you to accept that our future has already died. With no hope in your eyes, you easily say goodbye, real love seldom appears, and is hard to come by. I will be here when, and if, you ever need a friend, but until then I hang my head low in defeat, and accept that this is the end. You win, another triumph under your belt, the queen of spade arrives, as I count my blessings, cut my losses, and smile as the cards have been dealt. Devastated with dismay, I assumed you were my shining knight, until you extinguished the flame that was still burning so bright. I left all that I knew, took a risk, to give love a chance, how naive of me to partake in this foolish lover's dance. In the end, and in time, hopefully you will come to see our love sublime. Just another casualty of Cupid and Eros, we could have conquered the world, and risen to the rank of heroes. Alexander the Great, and Joan of Arc, mere mortals compared to you and I, but instead you have chosen to pull the cord, bringing down our skies. Darkness fills the voids, and the holes that hide behind the cracks, as my white blood cells give up, and prepare for attack. The oxytocin still flows freely, created freshly whenever I dare to appreciate you, once so colourful and vibrant, our love has been replaced by the least appealing hues. The chimney is full of smoke, as we struggle to breathe from the smoke filling our lungs, towards the end, we became as difficult to comprehend as if we were solely communicating in tongues. I have my dignity, and I know what I deserve, while your emotions fluctuate, from what I have observed of your verve. My liver fails first, from the drinks you claim we enjoyed more than the rest, then my brain from racking it, and all of your jealous tests. We could have been the best but instead we dispossessed. My vulnerability undressed, as you silently screamed about this house arrest. Over, adieu, I cannot tolerate much more, of being made to feel as common as this Friday's whore. I choose to channel my energy into something more positive for me, accept the first amendment, and pursue my right to be happy. I could have given you the world, and been your oyster with never ending pearls. Yet silence killed the cat, not curiosity this time, I am the newest amputee, love's casualty as the result of this war crime. Heinous, and malice were no strangers to our love, joined by their cousin jealousy, it was inevitable that push would turn to shove. You may think I am alone, but being alone is the only way to be, as I pack my bags and leave, in the name of being free. Everything is illuminated, the all seeing eye predicted our fall, as you poked, and prodded at me, whilst thinking you were as escalated as Nepal. I cannot sit idly by, and watch a good thing fall apart, but I see that I have succumbed to another magician of the black arts. Curse me, then release me, twist my arms like I am a doll, then take a bow, and say goodbye, final curtain call. Manipulate me once, shame on me, do it again, and I have no choice but to leave. Accept your faults, as I have become privy to do, or watch your world fall asunder, the picture slightly askew. Straighten out the frame, before you attempt to do this again, there is nobody left to blame, I wish we had not hesitated to stray from being humane. There are no hard feelings, I will support you around the bends, but I love you, I do, so I have no choice but to agree that this is the end.

Black Swan

I covered my eyes, and hid behind a veil of lies, always assumed you'd remain as consistent as the sunrise. I trusted you with my life, without considering you would ever wield the knife that cut into my back, and carved out my heart. Our legacy over before it could start. The stars above sparkle no more, their shine, and their lustre have been defiled like a whore. Crumbled, destroyed, like fallen empires. You promised me immortality, yet abandoned me, leaving me as the loneliest vampire. Lestat, and the Cullens are no match for this pain, that stings my eyes as they fill with tears like acid rain. Devastated, I turn away from you, no longer a victim of your love, I thought you could take away the blues, but instead more blues colour me from above. Denounced, and left in the streets to die after being stoned, you could have been my king, but instead you chose to be dethroned. You were my parachute that failed to deploy, sending me falling, stumbling towards land in an ignoble way. Filled with decay, I sit transfixed, trying to collect the pieces that remained after our conflict. Gasping for air, I choke on my breath, hoping, and praying for an expedited death. Filled with an impending sense of dread, and doom; I have never felt more isolated in a crowded room. The faces, although, familiar begin to feel like strangers, as I search for a friend who can save me from danger. Rescue me from myself, and from the damage that I have done, I need to stop telling my story before it has begun. Out of breath, and hope, my future runs dry, as I wave down the vultures that circle the sky. They fly down to Earth, and I let them ravage my flesh, in the hopes that they will somehow make me feel refreshed. Your carnal desires took hold of your soul, and devoured my heart, as you lost control. Incomplete, and unfinished I fight to find the cure, a solution, or answer that will reassure. I choose to fight to stay on the path that will lead to salvation, regardless of whether it could break, and instead lead to my eternal damnation. Heaven or Hell, it is all the same to me now, as I have reaped the fruits that my labour never sowed. Another chance for you, even though my fears ebb and flow, hopefully in time, the love will once again flow. I hang my head, defeated, as I lay me down to sleep, and pray for forgiveness, as I silently weep. Sullen, and sunken, yet never broken, or done; the love within prevents me from acting impulsively, and reaching for my gun. I will not let this break me, but I will march on, hoping that my forgiveness will not result in your black swan. I refuse to let you be the one that got away, so I will save my sorrows, and worries for another day. The choice is mine to protect my heart with my head, refusing to leave anything left unsaid. I am accident prone, yet bulletproof, I will always make it through the rain, I just hope one day, we will be able to resume our love story that had the potential to be as sweet as the finest champagne. Forgiveness is second nature to me now, as I have matured tenfold, waiting for the day in which yours is the only hand that I want to hold. Our story continues, and unfolds to reveal a light at the end of our proverbial tunnel, my love flows into you without return, like a never-ending funnel. The tears have dried, and left me stronger than I have ever been before, the first act has completed, this was our very own cold war. The pages keep turning, as the days of our lives progress, please forgive me if I am weary after we digressed. Our story is not over, this is just a temporary roadblock, you are the only one who holds the key to my heart that is now locked. I just hope this is not a mistake that will drive the final stake into my chest, for if it is, then you will become the primary object of all the things that I detest.