Confusion

The chaos of confusion creates conflict within my mind, as I crawl through the dark searching for a cure to the cancer that has left me blind. Through dimly lit eyes, the uncertainty of us magnifies, blurring the lines between the truth and then the lies. I cannot breathe, nor can I eat although I am starved for clarity, yet full from deceit. I attempt to live in the moment and take each day in stride, but the very thought of us makes me want to run away and hide. There used to be a time when it always rang true, that you were the answer, and I was the clue. Since then it seems, I have been living through a dream, carelessly coursing through the world hoping to find a conscious stream. The promises we made were unjust and impossible to keep, and despite it all, we still failed to look before we leaped. You were the ink that helped me write my prose, even though I pricked your lips like a kiss from a wretched rose. The canvas of my life bleeds with devastating anarchy, manipulating my senses as it infects my potpourri. My insides ravaged like cities torn apart by storms, as I try to maintain my creativity in respect to our art form. I am self aware as I know exactly what I need to do in theory, but in practice my heart cowers in fear, assuming the worst and that the future will only be dreary. I could risk it all to be with you again, if only the spark would return accompanied by enlightenment and zen. I can no longer remain a slave to the doubt that wracks my brain, feeding on it as freely as an alcoholic indulges in champagne. To leave and separate from you would mean starting anew, whilst disregarding the love that we have managed to accrue. I have suffered enough and paid my dues for the crimes committed by me and by you. I painted a new world with stars that shone so brightly as a substitute for the past that evolved into something haunting and unsightly. I erased my mistakes, corrected them too in the hopes that one day I would feel adequate to you. Stability steered our ship that sank in shallow waters, as we proved to be much too unstable to survive, I was the sheep that you were forced to slaughter. You reloaded your gun and prepared to shoot the bullet that would end my life, as I took my last breath and muttered a prayer, relieved that I had lived to see the end to all our strife. The never ending white light at the end of my tunnel calls to me as I dance closer with childlike curiosity, I will remain with you in spirit and in heart, you are forgiven for your discrepancies, as I harbour no animosity. Confusion no longer knocks at my door taking with it the clouds that filled my coffee, I can see clearly now that you were the song that was meant to kill me softly. Our flowers grew in concrete left unnourished in the sun, there is no turning back now, the damage we did can never be undone. A prelude to our demise, we disguised the way we felt inside, only to feign surprise once it was time to say our final goodbyes. Failure washes over me, renewing my spirit as I accept that I have lost; I paid the cost of losing you, as I bask in the heat for the last time and allow my cold heart to defrost. Disengaged, as I worked through the pain, assuming responsibility for my misdoings as I did the right thing and accepted the blame. It's not too late for fate to take the reins, I was destined for greatness, and not the mundane. Silence soothes my skin as I smile for the first time in years, as I have learned my most valuable lesson to date and see that not everything is as enchanting as it necessarily appears.

Euphoria

Once upon a time your love made me feel the most sublime, you added spice to my life, just like cinnamon and thyme. Your kiss was the conviction and the cause of our carnal crimes, and yet the passion still dried out like dust defiled grime. And somehow I still believe in your kind eyes as I stare to the skies and pray for a reprise. Like a derailed train, our future flew off the tracks, waiting in vain, I hope we can collaborate and bring our love back. Disenchanted as I no longer see through a rose coloured view, communication was the dragon that we failed to slew. My strength was not enough to remove the sword from your heart, and as a result we were forced to interrupt our story as we slowly grew apart. I take comfort in wishing on stars with childlike innocence wondering where you are, hopeful that you will return and be the lighter to my cigar. With each inhale, I will breathe you in, letting you soak into my skin; my lungs will fill with your nicotine, as I become reacquainted with the effect of your caffeine. You surrounded my castle and tore down my walls just like in a fairy tale, as happiness resonated throughout me, you were my nightingale. Your songs would soothe my soul like the ocean's waves, intoxicating me deeper with each whispered word, I used to be so brave. Independent once, I somehow began to rely on you with faith so blind, my vision has since cleared and I now realize that I was carelessly confined. Imprisoned of my own volition as I solely defined myself as your maleficent mate, I grieved for the loss of my identity and filled my world with hate. Anger consumed me wholeheartedly increasing with each new day, inciting me further as I saw my world for what it was and deplored its disarray. My cuts and battle scars are much deeper than they seemed, as I foolishly failed to see that this was a far cry from a dream. Disinfected now, I can finally breathe; wait for my name in lights until you decide that it is time to seethe. Our picture perfect romance was soiled by your crimson kiss, your wicked world will never be the same once you begin to reminisce. I have pricked my finger for the last time on love's lascivious loom, then prepared for an eternity of slumber with flashes of gloom. The universe wistfully weeps for what the future had in store for you and I, as the sun sets sleepily in Shanghai. The euphoria we once shared disappeared into the night, revealing to me that only true love's kiss could have helped me reach new heights. Over now, I pick up the pieces of our puzzle left undone, our epic chronicle ended before it had even begun.

Love is Pain

Legendary lilac love's lullabies lament lasciviously lacerating lessons learned long ago, lackadaisical lack of depth laboriously led to the loss of ladylove.

Overzealous omnipotence obscures others' options of overcoming odds, your obese objectification once obligable obliterated our obsessions, occulting obsoleteness.

Vindictively vindicating vapid venom vehemently veered via voluptuous vengefulness, vaguely vaccinating villains and heroes like the Valkyrie.

Eager endeavours earnestly entertained, eternally everlasting evil exuded externally erasing excitement exponentially everyday.

Ignorance induced into increasingly ignominious incompetence instead of idealistic inheritances, in your eyes iodine irrigated irreverently invoking the invited invisibility of me.

Sensually slaking stupor's selfish self-concerning scandals, storybook enchantment seductively slew your self-righteousness asunder.

Proprietary presumptions prevailed, proving petulant precociousness preyed upon your Palestine, painfully prescribing poison that was prone to parliamentarian partiality.

Arrogance always achingly altered your autonomy, angering angels and archenemies alike, auburn austere artistry assumed your aura would achieve applause, and not abomination ad nauseum.

Imagination involuntarily improved interpersonal interactions, ignoring irreconcilable differences in identities; irrationality increased irritability until it was intertwined with indifference.

Negligence narcoleptic nuances needlessly non-fulfilled the necessities of nostalgic nations and their naivety, never again will I allow nonentities to narcissistically nurture my Narnia's noble narrative.

Evanescence

Your emancipating evanescence hit me on my way out the door, as our bodies separated, love don't live here anymore. We failed to communicate our needs until we could no longer see eye to eye; your water that once nourished me is poison now and has run dry. We tried so hard to make it, as we held on tightly to one another's hand. Naivety was our downfall, as we refused to accept that our love had become a no man's land. Desolately isolated, barren like the deserts although our hearts were as frozen as the Arctic cold. Our love was replaced with the wickedest hate, as you carved a hole in my heart and desecrated my psychological state. You satisfied your hunger for pain as you tore up my insides like acid rain. This deluded distance dances drearily drinking me in, as I try to push you further away to stop the pain that I am in. I crystallize with fear, as my diamond eyes help me to see clear. I realize that you wanted to be my rock while turning everyone else to stone. You wanted to keep me behind lock and key, will your regime ever be overthrown? You ruled like a tyrant, tainting towns with your twisted smile. Your villainous vehicle vehemently vexes me with its vile vapour, I am made of stars but you recycled me like paper. You rearranged me, made me believe my mind was in shambles while my heart was on my sleeve. I gracefully grieve for your loss, even though your misrepresentation prevented me from seeing through your pretty gloss. My heartbreak stained eyes cried through the lonely nights as I dazedly dreamed that you would undo your wrongs and make things right. Running resentfully through the streets that have no names, I have tired of your games and watched the house that I grew up in burst into flame. All that was once familiar seems brand new and artificial, as your love has scarred my skin and made me solely superficial. I held on to your every word, like a newborn child until I choked on the glitter that I swallowed and knew that I had been tricked and was just beguiled. Like a carousel, you turned me around in circles until I had lost my way; you blackened my teeth then rot my breath like gangrenous decay. Overwhelmed, as you throw me overboard. I falter, ready to drown but find the strength to find my life's support. Unburdened of you, I can now resplendently report that I no longer feel like my life has been cut short. You have been deported, ceased to exist like an obscure trend, while I will blossom in my own right as I pretend that you were never my best friend. I have scaled the ladder that led from you to here, and said goodbye to the wasted wanton, yet wistful years. Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend, there will never be another who will be able to replace you, but always others that proceed you who will help me to transcend.

Rabbit Hole

I was crawling through the dark but you made me believe I was fumbling towards ecstasy. Your rabbit hole enchanted me and then it got the best of me. I should have chosen simplicity instead of living lavishly. You copied, pasted and cut out my heart, then let the vultures ravage me. You burned me at the stake, ending your witch hunt with my body in flames, refused to allow me a defence as the fire spit at you and called you names. Was I really so blinded by love that I still suffer in your absence? I was the incense that made you feel zen when all you could do was think in dollars in cents. You are the reason why I have built walls that touch the sky, they protect me from the hurt in this world, and all that could go awry. I cried for days and until it seemed like there would be no end in sight, you stripped me of my sunlight and forced me to embrace the night. I would rather be alone than feel lonely in your arms, instead of providing me with shelter, you filled my world with harm. Filleted like a fish, you hung me out to dry as you pushed a hook through my lips and made me bleed. I did handstands for you, back flips too yet you refused to notice or even take heed, as you ignored my feats and opted to stay motivated by your own greed. I am more than just an option, i deserve no less than the best. You were the object of my desire, you could have been my moon and my stars. I was just the toy you had acquired, you viewed me in the same regard as cheap wine and cigars. You smoked me until my lungs were weak and blackened by your nicotine, doused me in gasoline then winced at my arrival, just like the black queen. My dreams have erupted, as they lay in the volcanic ash of your negligence. I was often mistreated and made to feel like I was a personal expense. You crucified me like the Christ, and hung me from my wrists, as I came closer to accepting reality and realized that a love like this could not exist. I became my biggest foe, battling for hours internally, questioning whether to stay or go. You tainted my water, and pillaged my home; slaughtered my sheep and crushed my bones. I was your whipping boy as I accepted each blow with a smile, you have jaded my artistry and made a mockery of my art. I am hopeful and hostile as I hereby declare that you have devastated my heart, eternally damned and ruined for future lovers that are tempted to taste my tarts. I am the queen of hearts as I demand your decapitation, look forward to your annihilation as I determinedly dance towards my transformation. I will be the brightest star that lights up your sky at night, I will be the bluest, most bold butterfly that haunts your dreams and fills your world with fright. I will be the wildfire that jumps at you and burns you ignited by your own contrite, and I will be the knight that refuses to save you, and lets you drown to my heart's delight. Through the storm, I found the strength to live a life of solitude without you by my side. As the waves subside, I realize that I have managed to maintain my honour and my pride. Somehow you had the audacity to cheat, and by taking you back, I denied myself of life, our love was the double sided knife I needed to accept that you were not worth the wait. Your misrepresentation and false advertisement only led me to believe that I was naive, you desecrated me after tempting to eat your apple, just like you were the Eden to my Eve. My soul will repent and feel remorse until it is spent, but until then, I will watch from the top with wicked, villainous lust as you fall further to your disastrous, self-imposed descent.