Saturday, January 15, 2011

Black Swan

I covered my eyes, and hid behind a veil of lies, always assumed you'd remain as consistent as the sunrise. I trusted you with my life, without considering you would ever wield the knife that cut into my back, and carved out my heart. Our legacy over before it could start. The stars above sparkle no more, their shine, and their lustre have been defiled like a whore. Crumbled, destroyed, like fallen empires. You promised me immortality, yet abandoned me, leaving me as the loneliest vampire. Lestat, and the Cullens are no match for this pain, that stings my eyes as they fill with tears like acid rain. Devastated, I turn away from you, no longer a victim of your love, I thought you could take away the blues, but instead more blues colour me from above. Denounced, and left in the streets to die after being stoned, you could have been my king, but instead you chose to be dethroned. You were my parachute that failed to deploy, sending me falling, stumbling towards land in an ignoble way. Filled with decay, I sit transfixed, trying to collect the pieces that remained after our conflict. Gasping for air, I choke on my breath, hoping, and praying for an expedited death. Filled with an impending sense of dread, and doom; I have never felt more isolated in a crowded room. The faces, although, familiar begin to feel like strangers, as I search for a friend who can save me from danger. Rescue me from myself, and from the damage that I have done, I need to stop telling my story before it has begun. Out of breath, and hope, my future runs dry, as I wave down the vultures that circle the sky. They fly down to Earth, and I let them ravage my flesh, in the hopes that they will somehow make me feel refreshed. Your carnal desires took hold of your soul, and devoured my heart, as you lost control. Incomplete, and unfinished I fight to find the cure, a solution, or answer that will reassure. I choose to fight to stay on the path that will lead to salvation, regardless of whether it could break, and instead lead to my eternal damnation. Heaven or Hell, it is all the same to me now, as I have reaped the fruits that my labour never sowed. Another chance for you, even though my fears ebb and flow, hopefully in time, the love will once again flow. I hang my head, defeated, as I lay me down to sleep, and pray for forgiveness, as I silently weep. Sullen, and sunken, yet never broken, or done; the love within prevents me from acting impulsively, and reaching for my gun. I will not let this break me, but I will march on, hoping that my forgiveness will not result in your black swan. I refuse to let you be the one that got away, so I will save my sorrows, and worries for another day. The choice is mine to protect my heart with my head, refusing to leave anything left unsaid. I am accident prone, yet bulletproof, I will always make it through the rain, I just hope one day, we will be able to resume our love story that had the potential to be as sweet as the finest champagne. Forgiveness is second nature to me now, as I have matured tenfold, waiting for the day in which yours is the only hand that I want to hold. Our story continues, and unfolds to reveal a light at the end of our proverbial tunnel, my love flows into you without return, like a never-ending funnel. The tears have dried, and left me stronger than I have ever been before, the first act has completed, this was our very own cold war. The pages keep turning, as the days of our lives progress, please forgive me if I am weary after we digressed. Our story is not over, this is just a temporary roadblock, you are the only one who holds the key to my heart that is now locked. I just hope this is not a mistake that will drive the final stake into my chest, for if it is, then you will become the primary object of all the things that I detest.

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