Illumination

I close my eyes and hide behind my hands, try to explain but no one seems to understand. The world itself is crying out for help, as we continue to meander from the truth and squander our wealth on ourselves. We could have saved the children that turned into tyrants and unjust kings, educated our siblings and taught them to do the noble thing. Instead we turned the other cheek, veiled but rarely modest or discreet, hoping to never encounter poverty within our own streets. Feral children fearlessly face famine and frustration, genocides and war have become the cause that they live to die for. But instead we feign ignorance and dance to rhythmic beats. If I could change the world with my hands or even with my pen, I would serve the Earth's inhabitants and help them feel complete again. How fair is it for us to build castles when they can only build theirs in the sky, injustice and punishment are their only lullabies. Women in the Middle East are attacked for their honour every single day, while their Western counterparts have the freedom to attend soirées. Oppression is the reason why men are often reduced to mice, repressed and ignored as they battle over rations of rice. Coincidentally, we choose our battles here and take the freedom to choose for granted, enchanted like the accursed forests and whales so often implanted in children's fairy tales. I made the choice to fail, when I could have fought to win it all. And at the end of the day, I realize, that I am the only one that I can blame for my repeated falls. I will rise up against myself, prohibit toxicity from affecting my health. I will take responsibility for my lack of action, until I can comfort myself with the satisfaction that I have craved for far too long. My swan song will result in an upheaval, a reinvention so powerful and bright. One day, in the not too distant future, I will help my brothers fight. Against the injustice that burdens their souls, and the subjugation that chills their bones. I will strive to build new homes for the unfortunate ones who have been the victims of earthquakes and cyclones. The proof is in the pudding and it is finally clear to me, that everything is as impermanent as Buddha revealed for all to see. I no longer crave the material things that brought me joy when I was naive. I believe the time has come for the world's final reprieve, no longer forced to bereave in a land that chooses to misbehave. I will be the kind and gentle knave that bravely rescued and freed the slaves. The room is now illuminated and I see the puppets on their strings, dancing while they further entangle themselves in a web of misery. I praise the Heavens mercifully because I have been enlightened by the greatest gift, Mother nature sheds her final tears as the gears continue to shift.

Fear

Defeated, I turned to the Gods and berated them for the way I was mistreated. I was your punching bag for far too long, your abuse became the lyrics of my pathetic song. Days blurred into nights, as I awaited for the strength inside to flee or fight. I ran for the hills once I realized that you were the poison that would lead to my demise. Cries of agony and confusion built the foundation for my new life, one devoid of you, colourful and bright. I was misunderstood in the days of your tyrannical empire, until I realized my identity had been replaced by one of a liar. I lost touch with myself, no longer knew the colour of my own soul. I see with greater clarity, that you were the reason why my heart felt bleak, and blackened like coal. The fire inside died out, leaving me cold and shivering with mistrust. I turned to many in my time of need, but they just shook their heads in disgust. They no longer saw the majesty that once lived within my eyes, instead they saw the desperation that made me believe in all of your lies. I hid amongst the shadows relying on others to make me feel my worth, like a premature child delivered months prior to his date of birth. I am a work in progress, hoping to fill my pages with love for myself once again. I need to learn to trust myself in order for my heart to mend. I will search the world for ways to be the man that I once knew, and not this version of myself moulded by your words untrue. In my most catatonic of states, I am forced to choke on the freedom that you long revoked. I let the cool, Spring air burst into my lungs, yearning to taste the sweetness of success on my tongue. I am all out of love, yet I do not need to be outlived. Condensed by my sense of loneliness, I turn the tide and allow myself to feel renewed. Once again, I spread my wings and fly, hoping to soar to heights you prevented me from dreaming of. Life has extended me an olive branch and I have apprehensively accepted, even though I had rejected it in the past. Like Noah's dove, I see land in the distance and I know my salvation is just out of reach. I was a mere passenger on your Titanic for too long, I refused to save myself from your sinking ship and lost it all instead. No longer filled with dread, I remove the veil from my eyes as hope aligns itself with the pages of my life that have yet to be read. I can breathe freely, unburdened of your baggage that turned my heart to stone. My sins atoned, relief feels bittersweet as I enter a world full of wonders unknown. Postponed my release out of fear that I would not like what I would find, I feel blind as I refuse to look back, accepting that you are the trauma that needed to be left behind. I see the sun rise for the first time without you by my side, and for the first time in years, I know that everything will be just fine.