Saturday, March 10, 2012

Stillborn.

Tragic time ticks away and tricks me into thinking that we are almost done, as my memories of us have started to feel more like bullets in my loaded gun.  If you knew you were unhappy, why did you smile like you were having so much fun?  I should have known better than to think that you were ever the one.  Now, you should feel guilty for the way you made me believe, that paradise was just around the corner, as if Eden was something that we could achieve.  I feel so deceived, as I watch you walk away unfazed, looking so relieved.  Lying on the floor with my heart in my hands, I slowly give up, refusing to give in to any of your last demands.  Yet, I still hardly understand, how you failed to be the one to deliver me to my Promised Land. Something has got to give before I end up sad and lonely again, naivety has run its course as you are sadly still my hunger pain.  I am unsure what to do now that my life is barraged with rain, as I wash my hands clean of you, and watch the remnants of us circle the drain. Remorse and sorrow fill the home that we once lived in, much to my dismay and chagrin, I cannot help but allow myself to feel the suffering.  I am not a sore loser, nor a poor sport yet I fail to comprehend how to view this as a win, as I long to rewind time to when loving you never felt like the eighth deadly sin.   I cannot help but wonder if life made you this way or if these flaws were inborn, as I lie naked on the floor, with my heart in my hands, feeling so torn.  You smelled as sweet as the most lovely roses, although you were more similar to their thorns.  As you pricked my finger, and made me bleed, on countless occasions, I now see that our love was stillborn.  

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