Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Mannequin

I hardened my heart to the extreme point that attempting to love would be like squeezing water from stone. We are still twins but no longer conjoint, for your wicked sins you must atone. I trusted you, sought solace in your arms. Supported you endlessly, only to be beguiled by your charms. I've reached the end of my wits, my days are so much colder now. Confused beyond words at how it's so simple for you disavow. You have disarmed me with your smile, enraptured my soul inside your web of lies. You weaved fallacies as if you were a seamstress, tailoring my faith in you to your liking. I was your betrothed as I refused to look away from your consistently striking glare. You captured me, clipped my wings and locked me deep within your darkened lair. How unfair and cruel of you to treat me like you did. I barely understood that you viewed me as your kid. You manipulated my senses, made me believe you were all that was good and right. Instead I should have activated my defences, as you stole the moon that provided me with light throughout the night. Isolated in your cave, without the promise of release. The love that I once felt began to diminish and decrease. I began to abhor you for the way you feigned innocence. Resorted to pubescent games, as you winded me and made me wince. You gutted me completely, left nothing for the vultures that hovered above. Would I be wrong to state that this was the most gruesome, macabre love? I flailed my arms helplessly as I knew my last days had come. I tried to achieve a victory, but in the end I knew that I would succumb. To the vile, torturous terrorism that like alcohol made me drink until I was numb. I was your mannequin, as I allowed you to paint my body black and blue. You dressed me in your ugliness as I became increasingly subdued. Tattered and torn were the clothes I wore, tailored by you so others would ignore. The beauty within that you would selfishly feed upon. With the curtains drawn, you give me death's blistering kiss. I have transformed into a swan, no longer an ugly duckling gone amiss.

Wailing Wall

The camera flashes and reveals a different side of you. One that you conceal and hide from the world's review. I have seen brief glimpses of the person you can be. When you come out from hiding, you're not all that much a mystery. Like a puzzle refusing to come undone, your ill treatment of my heart will never be outdone. You tormented me like a prisoner in Guantanamo Bay, terrorized me villainously expecting me to stay anyway. Once you released my hand from your cold and icy grip. I had phantom limb syndrome and longed for my removed hip. Now I clearly see that I am worthy and capable, and for far too long I assumed that this cancerous love was inescapable. I gave you my heart, and you bruised it with your malice. Got trapped in your rabbit hole, as if my name were Alice. You are not my queen of hearts, you control me no more. My hope's been pierced with darts, I have become all that I abhor. I stood at the Wailing Wall, praying that you would repent but your cruel and wicked pride guaranteed that you would not relent. My only victory lies in catching sight of the truth in all your lies. The one you often failed to provide and hid away from prying eyes. I lit a fire in my heart and burnt your memory away. Scarred and seared by your touch, our relationship turned into a vile cliché. Ugliness is smeared upon the walls that we had built, I cried and repented until my body began to wilt. I am now reminiscent of flowers that are hidden underneath the snow. What was once aglow plateaued many emotions ago. I stripped my life of remnants of all that would remind me of you; the pictures, poems and letters gone so I can start anew.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Widow.

Like a thousand widows ululating for their loved ones that have departed; you lit a fire in my heart and then abandoned what you had started. Fainthearted, I attempt to heal my bruised and battered sense of pride, but this is often much too hard when there is no one in whom I can confide. I chanted your name, in the hopes that you would return. I offered you praise, as the vicious fire within continued to slowly burn. I refuse to acknowledge the newly granted freedom that has made me feel so light. I have recanted my belief that you and I were matched perfectly, so right. Love has taken its course on my life that you have left behind. I will reject love in the future, I would much rather douse myself in toxic turpentine. It made my bones feel brittle, and turned my tears to dust. Belittled my emotions, as I could not separate loneliness from trust. Now I must be strong once more, no longer forced to endure your cancerous couture. The disease you kindly referred to as love ravaged my insides as I began to feel so tired of. All that used to bring me joy, the happiest moments you've managed to destroy. Although I try to prevail, my efforts are to no avail. I will wear this blackened veil only as a testament that is apropos. I will restlessly remain as tired and timeless as a widow.

Apocalypse.

A million tears fell from these eyes, causing tsunamis and tidal waves to rise. Earthquakes shook the world, as tornadoes ravaged and whirled. Cities would self destruct and it would all be a result of my terrible luck. Life with you would be similar to death row; the passion would unfold until we would resort to blows. The fighting never fails to cease as I am left feeling like the deceased. I am now like the undead, as my thoughts refuse to turn off, constantly contemplating all the things I should have said. You pretended to be the bright, never ending light at the end of my tunnel. But instead of Heaven, you offered me nothing but Hell. I am finally strong enough to rebel, against the destruction that you would dole out like a fascist. Hitler and his reign had nothing on you and your regime. You were much worse on your weakest of days, your fury more extreme. I cannot fathom for a moment why you think you are a being so supreme. Meteors collide with everything in sight, as my heart races and pounds, seeking solace from the night. Misery threatens to tear my heart apart, as you trample on my love and leave your brand and mark. Malnourished by your scorn, watch as I walk through the streets in the clothes that your hands have torn. Naivety was my biggest flaw, I trusted in your word. You refused to make amendments to your cruel and wicked law, and then would act as if nothing had even occurred. In the end it is my inability to realize the sorrow that was caused by your deathlike kiss that makes me wonder if it's true that this is the apocalypse.

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