Distinct.

Belittled for so long by my own bitterness, each step in the right direction led me right to failure's dreary doorstep.  Success kept me at bay, its no vacancy sign was a thorn in my side every time.  Through comparing myself to every other living creature, the contrast too strong to handle; so I trembled, giving in to my fears of inadequacy instead.  I tried, strived, then thrived for so long in vain as I refused to acknowledge the demons that denied me of my rest.  Bereft, each right turn was all that I had left.  Rock bottom blues of mine had become my only friends in the most difficult of times, as I cried for salvation and begged for relief, each feeble attempt was never met with reprieve.  Life became a wizard that charmed me with the many tricks hidden inside its sleeves as I became hypnotized by all the ways that I could be detrimental to me.  Like Snow White's wicked queen, I sought out to eradicate all of my own beauty.  Poisons and spells, elixirs and pills all conspired against me making me ill.  Jaded as I convinced myself that waking up was the hardest part, that somehow each day was a battle as I forgot to focus on the bigger picture; the masterpiece that I could have been although I would not put in the effort needed to get better.  Suddenly, it all became too much.  I desperately reached for the gasoline that would enrage my fire, naively believing that it was what would put out the flames that fed on my fears and were satiated with my sorrow.  I had enough and filed a restraining order against the part of me that prayed for death.  My weakness resided inside of me all along, and just needed to be acknowledged.  I had to finally accept that I was all that was making me sick; I was the cause of it and the effect was making me derelict.  My pain, although immense, was still not enough to make me end as it became clear as perfect vision that all I needed was to mend by becoming my own best friend.  I pulled up my sleeves, hopefully for the last time, and promised to conquer my own infatuation with defeat.  I became a martyr for my own cause, choosing to die instead of continuing to live propelled by the lie that I was okay when I was reeling with hurt and confused as I could not see that it was solely I that was to blame.  I will rise, stronger as I do, always better than the last version of myself that I shed like snakeskin in the Sahara.  I will persevere, prevail like the tigers forced to relocate because of mankind but continue to fight to stay alive.  No, I will not become endangered although I have tried too many times to make myself extinct.  On the very brink of rescue as I thank God above for giving me another chance to clearly think about the many ways I am beautiful; I count my blessings, once again, for I have been reminded that I am distinct.