Ignorance.

I search the playgrounds of my past, distraught, hoping to locate the innocence I somehow lost.  I grieve for the little boy that believed mankind was inherently good.  In my rush to grow up, I raced through my childhood, though I now hunger for the purity that I shed too soon, replaced by the maturity which I had misunderstood.  Once I was exposed to the evil that has always coexisted in the world, my heart hardened unwilling to accept that I was now a flightless bird.  Subjected to abuse in every form, I began to think that I was solely capable of being scorned.  I would bathe in the hopes that my disdain would be swallowed by the drain; my contempt corroded my faith in humanity, as I allowed myself to be overcome by the darkness inside of me.  Instances of injustice around the world threw me over the edge, as I mourned for my innocence that was now dead.  Powerless, I conformed to the ugliness that surrounded me, hostility and hatred worked hand in hand to devour me behind the scenes.  I became a product of my perceived environment, lashing out with anger at anyone that pleaded for me to let them in.  The fire in my heart raged on destroying everything that got in its way; my conflict with myself escalated into a war with many casualties.  My soul was restless as it tried many times to escape, desperate for the innocence I left behind so long ago.   Estranged from love, I was now barren yet my ire continued to grow.  My infertile mind refused to fathom that any semblance of good could possibly remain despite all of the famine, greed and disease by which our hearts were stained.   Imprisoned by my inability to admit that good and bad were subjective terms, I obsessed about the extinction of morality and ethics.  Hypnotized by the media’s propagated portrayal of the disastrous and tragic, I was inconsolable as I questioned whether our problems would ever be fixed.  Suddenly I heard a voice as faint as falling snow reminding me to look deeper and find the helpers.  Incredulous that my conscience had stayed despite my relentless desire for detriment, I accepted its advice and set out in search of evidence that beauty still remained.  On my quest for good, I became amazed by foreign aides that emanated love like saints; humbled by humanitarians and helpers united by their desire to end world pain.  Grasping tightly onto these glimmers of light that illuminated the dark, my blackened heart was slowly becoming vibrant as I witnessed acts of unconditional love.  Through terrorism and torture, trials and torment, there was still love and light though good was overlooked replaced by tragedy.  With every disaster, I remember that there are always altruists that aim to ease the endless sorrow; with every evil act, many unite to ensure it is the last.    The innocence I lost made me wiser in the end, as it equipped me with the same objectivity that I employ with family, foe or friend.