Brand New.

Your beautiful grey eyes washed away my blues, as I longed to take your hand and follow you into a world devoid of taboo. No lies, just the truth, as you kissed away the pain and rekindled my youth. I yearn to live to see the day when I will have you in my arms to hold, hopelessly entranced by your touch that makes me feel like gold. You have rescued my heart from the pain it has endured, freed me from the cancer like the long awaited cure. You were the answer to my prayers, as you cleared the cobwebs from my head and saved me from the dreadful despair. With you I can imagine a future filled with light, as my inner voice resonates throughout me assured that you will keep me warm on lonely nights. Your voice filled me with reason, washing over me in waves, you added summer to my season, it is your lips that I desperately crave. I am addicted to your fragrance, wanting to bathe in the scent of you. You have lifted my spirits, and made me feel renewed. Your beauty is paralysing and still it makes me want to move, as I remove the stone that weighs down my heart, ambitious to improve. I want to know you inside and out, intrigued from the start, you were the water that nourished me and freed me from the desolate drought. You are but a mystery to me that I desire to solve, as I am certain that the solution will help me internally evolve. You can be my Italian prince as I give you nothing short of my world; I feel relieved now that you are here, as I am the oyster and you are my pearl. No longer enraged or haunted by ghosts from the past, I cannot wait to take you in my arms, as I know this feeling inside will surely last.

Carnage

You ate my skin, devoured my brain, lied to my face and then left me out to rot in the acid rain. You victimized me like my own personal Hannibal Lecter, as you were the most skilled and captivating soul collector. You ravaged my city, and pillaged my town, raped all its women and then left me to drown. The seas swallow me whole adding to my rage, as I contemplate the ways in which I will rampage. I will run through your neighbourhood with your head on my sword, valiantly display my triumph, your blood was my reward. I feel like I have won an academy award, as my honour feels restored after being ignored for far too long. My swan song includes some ammunition for the way you wasted my time, in my prime, it is easy to see that you were the lime, that soured my art and silenced me, like a mime. I have raided your cupboards and left you barren plus bare, the next time you search for me, I will not be there. Forever disconnected from your infantile ways, better late than never to avoid the destined decay. You would have poisoned my sun, and made it fall from its sky, robbed my rainbows of colour, and blackened my eyes. The very thought of spending a lifetime with you conjures up images of suicide, and nothing but the blues. I thank God every day for giving me the strength to escape, from the nightmare of you that began to slowly take shape. You would control my dreams and my reality too, burning my skin like an infected tattoo. I had to rid myself of you in order to find myself again, I have made it through the rain as it cleansed my veins and washed away the pain. Your illegalities were many as you claimed to be the best, but in retrospect your daily bread was much too difficult to digest. I attempted to eat of you hungrily but only choked on all your lies, you were cunning beyond your years, I should have seen through your uninspired disguise. The sun sets in the west as hatred rises in my heart, waiting to see you again so I can cut you open with my anger and then tear your life apart. You will no longer claim to be the victim and finally accept the blame, for all the hours you spun your wicked webs of deceit and for all the tedious games. You thought you could outsmart me, but it was my finger that I had you wrapped around. Here is my cookbook of anarchy, nobody cares when the tears of a clown fall down. Liberated again, I count my blessings as I celebrate with champagne. I can smell the flowers that beautify the world, as my efforts have resulted in the production of a pearl. I was an oyster lonely living at the bottom of the sea, now I swim at the top while people stare in awe, wishing to capture photographs of my beauty. You will forever burn with envy for the man that I become, as I find my loving and my heart, the void of you is merely numbed. Cry your crocodile tears for the rest of your dreary days of desperation, as I appreciate with value, quickly becoming the object of global admiration. You will be permanently enslaved to money and your mother, Freud was right when it came to you. I will travel the world in the arms of another, painting the world with vibrancy in all its hues. Welcome to the end, your life failed to compute, your heart will never mend, you were my most trivial pursuit. Carnage was the cause for your eternal damnation, rot in Hell with your thoughts of gloom, you are the manifestation of my hostile indignation.

Rest in Pieces

Rage washes over me as I become more aware of all the ways in which your pathetic indolence filled my life with sheer despair. Torn into pieces, I adorned myself with scorn and began to contemplate ways to make you wish you had never been born. I will poke and prod at you with my demonic pitchfork, until your walls fall down like mass destruction in New York. The audacity you had to lecture me as you remained, in your glass house so picture perfect, yet full of disdain, was enough to infuriate me further, like the bulls in Spain. I see nothing but red hoping to shed, the blood that you owe me for the years you stole from me. I could instead be the better person and pick up and resume, but the violence within me seethes, threatening to consume me whole. Like those imprisoned without parole, you were the weakest link within my chain so I had to set you free, until it became apparent that you were pathetically dependent on me. You claimed that you were stronger and that you had rose above, but all you ever wanted was to be in love. I have my friends, family and confidence to spare, while you just have your money, permanently aware that nobody else is there. Fill your voids with selfishness and greed, until you realize that you were misled by your definition of what it means to truly succeed. Eat up my security and drink deeply of my self-esteem, I paid the cost already and now refuse to remain within your pathetic and lonely regime. Impossible is now possible without you breathing down my neck, step to the side and reflect on all the ways your own ego led to your train wreck. Like a princess toiling endlessly to spin straw into gold, the way you coveted material things endlessly is what resulted in your face that looks so old. This is not about you being way too short for me, but instead it has more to do with all the ways you made me unhappy. I could count them on my fingers but I do not have enough to spare, to compile lists of all the ways you made me choke on your arrogant air. Devoid of flair, your future bursts into flames as you realize with further clarity that it was always you my eyes despised. You might think that you are a prize, but the kind the recipient would always try to give away, as you poisoned me with your stupidity and yet, you still somehow expected me to stay. I am over, done and through as I allow my newfound strength to process and think it might seem too good to be true. A world, a life, a story without you would take away the pain and wash away the blues. Your emptiness was the death of me, but I have been reborn; revived by my own desire to stay alive, no longer around to remain enslaved by your treacherous thorns. You lied and made it same like you were relatively sane, yet all you wanted from me was to listen to you endlessly, as you insufferably complained. I am over and done, as I walk away from your insipid smoking gun; the echo of the shots that killed the sheriff still remain, purifying me as I slip away from you, and ultimately, everything mundane. You were the cancer that ravaged my brain and the poison that lingered throughout my veins; the hatred that consumes me desperately, hungry like the poor, and you were the final frontier of my attraction to all things immature. Rest in pieces.

Confusion

The chaos of confusion creates conflict within my mind, as I crawl through the dark searching for a cure to the cancer that has left me blind. Through dimly lit eyes, the uncertainty of us magnifies, blurring the lines between the truth and then the lies. I cannot breathe, nor can I eat although I am starved for clarity, yet full from deceit. I attempt to live in the moment and take each day in stride, but the very thought of us makes me want to run away and hide. There used to be a time when it always rang true, that you were the answer, and I was the clue. Since then it seems, I have been living through a dream, carelessly coursing through the world hoping to find a conscious stream. The promises we made were unjust and impossible to keep, and despite it all, we still failed to look before we leaped. You were the ink that helped me write my prose, even though I pricked your lips like a kiss from a wretched rose. The canvas of my life bleeds with devastating anarchy, manipulating my senses as it infects my potpourri. My insides ravaged like cities torn apart by storms, as I try to maintain my creativity in respect to our art form. I am self aware as I know exactly what I need to do in theory, but in practice my heart cowers in fear, assuming the worst and that the future will only be dreary. I could risk it all to be with you again, if only the spark would return accompanied by enlightenment and zen. I can no longer remain a slave to the doubt that wracks my brain, feeding on it as freely as an alcoholic indulges in champagne. To leave and separate from you would mean starting anew, whilst disregarding the love that we have managed to accrue. I have suffered enough and paid my dues for the crimes committed by me and by you. I painted a new world with stars that shone so brightly as a substitute for the past that evolved into something haunting and unsightly. I erased my mistakes, corrected them too in the hopes that one day I would feel adequate to you. Stability steered our ship that sank in shallow waters, as we proved to be much too unstable to survive, I was the sheep that you were forced to slaughter. You reloaded your gun and prepared to shoot the bullet that would end my life, as I took my last breath and muttered a prayer, relieved that I had lived to see the end to all our strife. The never ending white light at the end of my tunnel calls to me as I dance closer with childlike curiosity, I will remain with you in spirit and in heart, you are forgiven for your discrepancies, as I harbour no animosity. Confusion no longer knocks at my door taking with it the clouds that filled my coffee, I can see clearly now that you were the song that was meant to kill me softly. Our flowers grew in concrete left unnourished in the sun, there is no turning back now, the damage we did can never be undone. A prelude to our demise, we disguised the way we felt inside, only to feign surprise once it was time to say our final goodbyes. Failure washes over me, renewing my spirit as I accept that I have lost; I paid the cost of losing you, as I bask in the heat for the last time and allow my cold heart to defrost. Disengaged, as I worked through the pain, assuming responsibility for my misdoings as I did the right thing and accepted the blame. It's not too late for fate to take the reins, I was destined for greatness, and not the mundane. Silence soothes my skin as I smile for the first time in years, as I have learned my most valuable lesson to date and see that not everything is as enchanting as it necessarily appears.