Kash Baloch — Poetry on Identity, Love, and Survival

We cut our losses more often than counting our blessings, hyper-focused on all the wrongs without ever thinking of ways to make it right. In the first few moments after the storm that was us, I remained silent, afraid that my heart beating violently inside my chest would explode, revealing how vulnerable I was right then. I obsessed about ways to convince you to return, as though my happiness was dependent on your existence in my life. I was wrong. With each hour, the fog clears and I see you for what you really are. I see the flaws, the scars, then hear the accusations as loudly as if they were being shouted directly into my ear. I was never enough, you were never enough; we were never enough and that is exactly why we failed. Moving forward, I will not allow my spirit to break when abandoned time and time again by someone incapable of stepping up to the plate and offering support when it is needed, instead of running for the hills, tail between legs like you di...

I was misdiagnosed too many times, saved myself from all the lies. Escaped to a far off place and now I have acclimatized. I survived the darkest hours, made it through the worst storms.  April showers bring may flowers, soon I'll be back to normal. Assimilated today, maybe one day I will know greatness.  Surround myself with only positive and now I feel so elated. Thought that I knew everything but I barely knew a thing. Once I accepted this truth, my soul began to sing. Buried under avalanches and even lost at sea. Volcanic ash surrounded me until I was a victim of my own misery. Tornadoes and tsunamis of terror twisted inside of me but the landslide brought me down, to Earth again. No longer afraid to falter now that I am my own best friend.

I listen to music and I am overcome with inspiration that moves my soul and fills me with determination. Sobriety has been so good to me now that my demons are eliminated. I just sit back and let the words pour out until I'm proud of my creations. Venting all of my frustrations now that I am hydrated. No stranger to torment but ashamed that I became so jaded. Many moons ago, my life revolved around getting faded. But now that I've regained control of LIFE, I feel so elated. Celebrating myself again now that I'm no longer vacant or running from a lie that became too blatant. Learning to survive, my virtue of choice is patience. I just grew so tired of my endless hospitalizations. Striving for universal elevation, a new level of consciousness in every nation. Tired of the ignorance, everyone's only concerned with their occupations. There is no better time than now for our hearts to accept a new vocation. So let's all put our hands together and pray for...

Autoimmune diseases that mainly affect Goddesses from Venus, have got me seething, writhing with anger for my aunts, sisters and nieces. Lupus took an angel from me when she was only twenty-three and I was nine. I am now filled with rage against a machine that killed one of mine. AIDS and Arthritis, HIV, and Fibromyalgia, are weapons worse than guns that can annihilate anyone's nostalgia. Chronic illnesses of a calibre that create constant pain; the kind that can conjure up cancerous emotions in the brain. I will not quit or concede to defeat until there is a cure, for these crimes against humanity that rob my brothers of their allure. Once so charming, now disarmed of their desires to stay alive and fight the good fight. Coughing, wheezing to survive, all throughout the night. But alas, they soldier on with the kind of will that creates legacies, for they are armed with strength that could have even defeated Hercules.

In Judaism, similar to in Islam, a woman must always cover her hair. Modesty and honour are prevalent throughout both socioeconomic or cultural practices. Yet the focus is always on the differences, the things that set us apart, mainly based on the right to land. It has become entirely political, quite quizzical and even hypocritical. The enlightened powers that be would love to see a change, in how brothers and sisters show their love for one another. Instead of war, famine and poverty; why not life, acceptance and liberty? I, too, was brought up to be a Muslim, however, today, at this moment in time, I can only identify as a humanist. It pains me to know that two groups of people so identical could forget, so quickly, about the Abrahamic ties of our people. When Moses pleaded that Pharaoh let his people go, my belief is that they received their promised land but centuries of turmoil and greed have left us in this mess. Emile Durkheim's conflict theory suggests that this...

By the time I turned twenty seven, I had already seen two of my Earth angels ascend to the Heavens. I begged and pleaded but it was all in vain, fourteen unsuccessful suicide attempts only to be born again. I racked my brain, played with every poison. Alcohol and narcotics were my favourite toys.  Illicit activities no longer linger among my choices. My drive and desire to stay alive have my soul rejoicing. I was all ablaze, became a pyromaniac provoking the Gods of fire. Somehow I was saved from going up in flames. Never knew how strong my ambition was until my soul almost retired. Now I am fighting harder than ever before to save my name. Electrified and even electrocuted by taking wires in my bathwater. But then I caught myself slipping when I remember my sisters' daughters. I will never again attempt to play like I'm a sacrificial lamb destined for slaughter. Instead, I will reinvent myself with my own laughter so that I can drink from the fountains of youth...

I'm a nondenominational superstar, interfaith intergalactic explorer, multilingual extraordinaire, soon to be a billionaire. I'll share my fortune with the world, and give to all the boys and girls. For what good are strings of pearls, if they're tightly curled in my own hand? I will execute some genius plans. Oh! It'll be magnificent, when I feel so brilliant and rediscover my resilience. I know it won't come easily, so I'll fight my way through the misery, pray to God for a treasury, to spread throughout the seven seas. I can do anything I put my mind to, rescue the endangered animals, too. Like King Solomon, I'll have many zoos where no creature or person will feel blue. I just need time to get humble, peel myself off of the ground on which I've stumbled, raise my voice so I don't mumble, increase the bass and treble so we can mambo. We just have to work together, strive for Utopia, forever. And let the dust settle, so that we c...

Not riches, not gold but unconditional love (externally & internally), to have a life companion to share in the happiness with; life, liberty, respect and dignity. To see the glass in and of itself, whether it's full or not. Genuine smiles, kindness, mindfulness of all creatures, big or small, to right one's own wrongs, confidence, security, and hospitality. Faith that things will work out, as they always do. Actions, which speak much louder than words. To have a basic comprehension of the antecedents that lead to behaviours and result in consequences. To understand that it takes a village to raise a child and to always live in a manner that reflects this i.e. behaving appropriately around children and modeling positive behaviour. To stay loyal and true to the people that have done the same for me. To avoid undermining authority, and to honour thy mother and father, if they are honourable; turn the other cheek, if they are not. To relinquish thy ego so as to live h...

Too many break-ups now, don't think we can make up. How I wish it wasn't over, I wanted to grow older, with you. With you, everything made sense, wanted a crib with a white picket fence. Loved how you could end my sentences, like you were inside my head. But now that you've left my heart feels so vacant, with a no vacancy sign, closed for business 'til the end of time. I kick myself now for not appreciating you when you were mine. Our love was the greatest, we were the best team. From sun up to sun down, you just consumed me. I took it all for granted, with you. With you, I hate myself for taking my eyes off of the prize. But I have to learn to let go, see we failed even though we tried so hard. Too many times now, I turn to my left at night only to find emptiness in place of you. I just yearn to feel your breath next to me, it was so comforting. So often I imagine what you're up to and wonder if you're thinking of me too. It's difficult ...

I behaved in such a way that fills me with so much shame. I slandered your reputation and tarnished both our names. You asked for nothing but honesty and I just played foolish games. Now that I am alone, so alone, I have to accept the blame. Sorrowful now that I have no idea what tomorrow holds. I chose to go astray instead of following your road to Rome that was paved with gold. I claimed I wrote the book, my ego got in the way and I lost control. Threw my arms up in frustration, didn't stick around to see how our story would unfold. I spit on my past now as I cannot let it dictate our future. Pretended that there were other qualified suitors, but that was just a lie, a figment of my own imagination. My wounds refuse to heal, only your hands can do up the sutures. I close my eyes and cry for all I see is your picture...it's haunting me. Possessed now as you're the one that loved me best. I confess now that you're the one that stands taller than the res...

Love in all its magnificence can fill even the darkest spaces with light. Genuine adoration and affection often warm the coldest nights. To truly admire another knowing they feel the same, can satisfy even the most insatiable hunger pains. The stars and satellites in the night sky remind me only of your face, and when I lay my head down to sleep, I imagine you are right here with me. Your eyes still sparkle behind my own, as your voice lulls me into my reverie. There is nothing, no love in this world, like that between you and me. Soon, you'll fly around the world, your dreams are taking flight. I just clasp my palms so tightly and pray that soon we can begin our life. I am yours eternally, together we can save the world. With my childlike innocence and your heart as delicate as the finest pearls.

Last night, I slept without the need for dopamine.  My reverie was filled with dreams of you and me. Sweet serotonin slumber made me feel like it was summer. You possess my every thought, my heart beat's a guitar and you are the drummer. So in love, I need no pills now that I welcome my REM state with open arms. Wrapped up in you, I'm safe from harm. What I wouldn't do to have you next to me. Just please promise not to forget, but instead remember me. What good is nor-epinephrine if your heart is restless, who needs to feel secure or happy if there's no one to share it with? I claim to want to be alone just so nobody knows, how my nights are filled with your caresses, your smile is my home. My amygdala is where you reside, with all my pain put away, only pleasure remains. I long to hear your voice, how I wish on all the stars that you were near. Separation is too great a punishment, I fear. I gave you something old, something borrowed and blue.  New thin...

In Switzerland, the scientists created a God particle, claiming that the creator could be made in a laboratory. Interesting to say the least but what about faith that brings me to my knees? The belief that I am but a mere speck in history? Sacrilege and blasphemy often go hand in hand. Ignorance, however, is not bliss; I wish this was a concept more of us could understand. Wanting to be first and best has always been mankind's demand, resulting in conflicts throughout the world's holy lands. I am an unholy man; done things in my short time here that I am too ashamed to admit. But now I plead the fifth as that glove no longer fits, so please acquit. Changing as I grow older, evolving as I defeat my bad habits. I vow from here on out to solely speak the truth.  A car although a vehicle can also be a photo booth. Slowly but surely conquering my demons, my anxieties are soothed. It is but meagre recompense for behaving like Ebenezer Scrooge. But I am not a stooge e...