Skip to main content

Dementia.

Comedy is a comforting mask that helps me cope when I am encompassed by darkness that infects my world and paints it black.
I am imprisoned by my own thoughts, anxiety reveals its ugliness cheapening any sense of accomplishment that I might have.
I grip reality, desperately, so I am not pulled into the burning inferno underground that threatens to devour me whole; it is my personal Hell.
I do my best to embody my interpretation of normal, attempt to see things in a positive light despite my knowledge that my glass is broken, not half full.
My smile is as carefully constructed as a house of cards, one wrong move and all of me comes crashing down to the ground.
Tears well in the corner of my eyes as I question why but know that God works in mysterious ways. When will my sadness be replaced by my life that permanently remains on hold.
I wish I could hit rewind and return to the point where roads diverged;
I would choose wisely this time instead of chasing petulant dreams that have led me astray.
A wasted life, unfulfilled resulted in my idle mind.
Fragile paper heart of mine that rips apart time after time, my hard exterior guards shatter so often that they are scarred.
Tired of being a perpetual work in progress, I really need change like the Earth needs rain.
Resigned but resolute I will try to be resilient although it's become an arms race, imperative that I finally prove that I am brilliant.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Felt

Time stood still for nary a soul,                     it dragged its feet, aching and old.  Blistering heat that made us melt,  we were once softer than silk felt. Hallowed hearts wind whistled through, covered in bruises, black and blue. Hardly broken, but maybe bent, running on empty and love spent. There comes a day in all our lives, when our failures cut deep as knives. But you shall remain a triumph, you stayed with me, like a science. Words were whispered, curses, we'd shout, until the blood drained from our mouths. Yesterday—softer than silk felt; seems like all we do these days is yell.

Outer Space

Even in deep space, your love holds me down, Your embrace has weight, and keeps me coming, back around I was on track to be a tragedy, before we collided, like stars You give me gold, you give me gravity, and it's more than fancy cars I was a lonely planet on my own Now you are the sun to my moon I orbit you and feel at home. I was in ruins, but I'm brand new. No distance between us, could break us, or tear us apart. Not miles, or minutes, not even lightyears would be too far for my arms. You light up my galaxy, our universe exists inside my heart. Closer than the others, if I'm Earth, then you are my Mars. You keep me human, keep me golden, keep me green, and grounded. Give me freedom, give me healing, eclipse me, leave me astounded. Celestially, you are the best for me, I rest my chemistry, and let you undress me. Effortlessly, you impress me, effervescent, I'm obsessing. Astro know me, come explore me, Supernova, satisfy my celestial body, cosmo comet, asteroid showe...

Self-Awareness

  With each day I take for granted, I vow to appreciate the next, blessed with the opportunity to once again look, and feel my best.  With my feet firmly planted, my morals maneuver me through all the rest, as I have been granted another day to conquer the world and put my limits to the test.   Some may call me an idealist though I am as real as they come, as I refuse to succumb to the notion that we must all acquiesce to society's rules that really only just make us boring and numb.   I can paint my own destiny, I am the master of my domain, though my moods and momentum may change in an instant, I am grateful that they change at all, as my indecision shows I'm living, and still standing despite my many falls.   Others' attempts to understand me often leave them more perplexed than when they began, I am an anomaly and will not be mislabeled by any other man.   A human being, not one doing, I live and let live just as well, yet I am still often the...