Never Be The Same Again.

Time stands still as it all still feels so surreal, refusing to speed up so my heart can heal. My mind races with questions as denial pulses through my veins, like abstract art, this life has become a mystery to my brain. Childless parents and parentless children, we can become orphans in a single, somber instant. Wartorn world that we live in is imperfect as can be, yet the selfishness that ravages my insides wishes that you were still here with me. Words turn into water in the palm of my hands, slipping away from my cognition like the finest grains of sand, yet I still cannot understand why death tears apart my Wonderland. Although I am a soldier and have survived many atrocities, I would go through it all again to have my best friend right next to me. My role model is gone, I am like a sheep without its shepherd now, as I look to the stars that light up the night sky and dare to ask my maker how. How is it that dictators, hatemongers, and ugliness remain yet beauty is taken away so young, like a runaway train? How does my heart not overflow with the pain that threatens to devour it whole, now that it is no longer surrounded by your beautiful soul? Unconsoled, I lay my head down every night refusing to allow the tears that threaten to trickle from my eyes, for they will cry rivers for the injustice that I feel, even though time will eventually be kind and allow another sun to rise. Sometimes strength fails me and I become as weak and innocent as a young child devoid of pride, as I solemnly search for a hand to hold, someone to lean on, or somewhere to hide. Without you, there is no me, I feel like I ceased to exist with your untimely end. At times you were the only one who saw the soul that cried inside me, and that is when you were my only friend. Lonely now, I try to pick up the pieces of the scattered memories that remain, like fragments of shrapnel, they pierce my heart like a dagger, I will never be the same again.