Broken by the memories that haunt my conscious state, I curse the Gods in misery for my dreaded fate. I tried to grow, and be positive, but this love has only transformed into hate, you were sadly the one that I had mistaken for my soul's true mate. I yearn to feel your hands wrapped up in my own, and crave to feel the softness of your lips that so often reminded me of home. I long to smell the scent, the fragrance of your own cologne, and still desire to see the beauty and majesty that line the streets of Rome. I want to travel around the world with you and taste all of its exotic foods, I need to relive and hear the melody of our joyous étude. I wish upon the stars up high that one day we will see, the canals in Venice and then take the train to Germany. I can still taste you on my tongue although your memory is quickly fading away, please come back and fill my world with colour again; take away the greys. I feel the coarse and rough remorse that stabs me, jagged like the rocks that line the shore. I smell the ashes, and remnants of the fire that once burned between us, extinguished forevermore. I taste the bitterness of losing you that stings my mouth like citrus fruit, it's acidity is not good to me as I finally see that we were just not meant to be. I see you with him and I silently seethe, knowing that he could never fill even one of my shoes. How naive of him to think that he is adored and not just simply being used, I have paid my dues, and thus refuse to return to substance abuse. You were just my muse, a toy whenever I needed to play. Mark my words, that on this very day, I will never return to your symphony of fire and your desolate decay. From now on I will protect my heart with my head, instead of running and embracing the false notion of love with open arms. I will use my five senses to guide me through isolated moments where I am crawling in the dark, no longer a passenger on this toxic love's sinking ship, I have finally, and fortunately found the will to disembark. I count my blessings, not my losses of which you are surely one; the emptiness subsides and my self-respect and dignity have finally triumphed and won. I heard my conscience crying out, pleading for me to come to my senses; I listened for the first time, rebuilt my walls and regained my defences.
Time stood still for nary a soul, it dragged its feet, aching and old. Blistering heat that made us melt, we were once softer than silk felt. Hallowed hearts wind whistled through, covered in bruises, black and blue. Hardly broken, but maybe bent, running on empty and love spent. There comes a day in all our lives, when our failures cut deep as knives. But you shall remain a triumph, you stayed with me, like a science. Words were whispered, curses, we'd shout, until the blood drained from our mouths. Yesterday—softer than silk felt; seems like all we do these days is yell.
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