Dopamine

I vowed to avoid the ones my mother warned me all about, the ones she said I could do without. I chose to ignore her advice, jumped in head first instead, and now I pay the price. Your lies were not enough to make me steer clear of your eyes. I wanted to taste your sin and let it course throughout my veins, injected for the perfect high, sending waves of dopamine throughout my brain. You were my demise, we could have ruled the world. Your throne remains empty now, you should have been my earl. Contrary to the thoughts you expressed full of sorrow, covered in doubt; I would have given you my heart, been the rain that cured your drought. I held your hands in mine for the shortest moment in time, sublime yet insecure, I felt so unsure right from the start. I wanted to be whimsical, and pretend that it could work. But instead you reached into my chest and tore out my love, with the iciest smirk. My ups and downs were no match for your stagnation; like I was stuck in cement, the slightest move would have led to my damnation. I would have given you the world and pressed it into your tiny palm, offered you my last remnants of water, if only to ensure that you would stay calm. Your lips were fire and I burnt in silence, ignored the searing of my own. I closed my eyes and entered the darkness, like driving at night, into the unknown. You were a blessed reminder of all that I have learnt thus far, a lesson meant to teach me that I have not made it far at all. I continuously attempt to run, without first learning how to crawl. You could have had it all, yet chose to fester as forcedly as a squall. Tumultuous and uneasy, I chase butterflies on my own; the ones you made me feel from the very scent of your cologne. Renewed, my batteries will have to recharge once again, we could have remained friends but even that would be pretend. Unambiguously betrayed by my emotions for the last time, I pucker my lips and drink you in, you were the finest wine. Swindled, I pack my belongings and take one last look into your eyes, I see the sun setting on the dreams we could have shared, and it is just enough to make me break. I saw my lies reflected therein, and it was all too much to take. Shattering my sense of security, reality is the most vile and cold hearted snake.