Kash Baloch — Poetry on Identity, Love, and Survival

When I was younger, I had the opportunity to be touched by your kind soul. You were the piece that fit so right, and made our puzzle whole. Now that you've gone away, much has changed with time. Our familial bond has since decayed, you were the only word that rhymed. Your life is often celebrated, by the lives you've left behind. We carry on your legacy, as you were always so caring and kind. Your beauty was apparent in the ways you showed me love. It was always unconditional, even when I placed others above you. I remember all the times when I ignored you like the rest, I apologize profusely, as I feel highly distressed. I pray for you every night, and all throughout the day. Yet still sometimes the pain of loss refuses to go away. I attempt to remain positive and solely see the good. But then I am reminded of all that I misunderstood. I am sorry for the all the times that I hurt you like I did. I cannot attempt to reason with myself and state that I was merely just a kid. I s...

The curtains go down as the lights go out. I wither, I turn, I twist and I shout. I played the only role that I assumed I knew. It turned out in the end, that the star was really you. Your words were so believable, how could I not be enticed? Your lines were all receivable, full of malice and spite. The way you delivered them sent chills up my spine. Now our bodies have separated, no longer entwined. You claimed I was your equal, only to lead me astray. I listened so intently, until you walked away. You ran off of the stage, leaving me in tears. What a pity, a travesty, after so many wasted years. I was blinded by your charm, until you stripped away the packaging. I was so disarmed, as you discarded the remnants of my dignity. So take a bow, now that you've robbed me of everything else. You played your part, as you knew you were breaking my heart. The curtains have drawn and your audience has left. My self respect gone, I just feel so bereft. Now take a bow, as that is all that tim...

You were always a competitor, balanced in bravery and skill. I knew you were a predator, always out to get your kill. Like a man without morals or will, you were constantly searching for your next cheap thrill. Sadly, I am the pusher that provided you with your pills. The ones that got you high beyond belief, they ensured our love affair was nothing if not brief. Like a thief in the night, you robbed me of my sight. Stripped me of my reason, committed grand treason. You treacherously stole my leaves, that were my shelter from the cold. Were it any other season, I could have been more bold. The winter has since set in and my bones have turned so brittle. Occasionally, you still come around to make me feel so little. What more is there to take, now that you've left me here to die? My bark has begun to break, it has weakened as water has run dry. I wrap my arms around me, seeking solace from the wind. I cannot help but feel so helpless, like one accustomed to a life of sin. Much to my...

Anomalous as I am, I have myself figured out. Anonymous and pretend, I feel so devout. As confident as I am, I am filled with doubts. My world is an asylum, it is filled with shouts. The screams pierce through the walls that I have built. They fill me with an insurmountable guilt. Even after we lost touch, and my foundation had been rebuilt. I am still a weed, that has just begun to wilt. Incandescent as I was, I gave off so much light. I spit my venom in your face, so hostile and full of spite. Bittersweet was the day, when I had finally won the fight. Much to your contrite, a new fire I had ignited. Your eyes spelt contrite, while mine were delighted. To explore the opportunity that I now had in store. Oh what a shame, now that it is you that I abhor. And it's you that I implore, much to your bliss. Whenever I feel pain, it is reminiscent of your kiss. I cough and I wheeze, as I sit and I hiss. And question how I ended up in this abyss. Lost in a maze, confused and dazed. I'm...

Love washes over me, like a waterfall cascading and pure. Like a vision, a mirage, I am drawn to your allure. You are my shining star, guiding my way through the dark. My shepherd as you lead me to salvation, you promised me the world, which you've fulfilled to my elation. I lost my will to live, like a man devoid of sight. You have since captured my heart, filled my life with light. I embarked on this journey, so tired and under prepared. You have since battled all my fears so that I am no longer scared. Your eyes, they mesmerize, as I gaze into your soul. I see destiny reflected, together we will grow old.

I always dreaded, that you'd aided and abetted. Like a rose, you cut me with your thorns. You don't get it, so this time just embed it. I am stronger, I have been reborn. You're pathetic, so I must disinfect it. Wash away the sorrows and the pain. Just accept it, you have been rejected. Stopped my suffering, I'm no longer insane. You were foolish, you could never connect it. Assumed you were the victor in our pubescent game. How stupid, to never suspect it. I guess you had just grown to accept it. I was hopeful, always thought that you'd respect it. Instead of, cheating as I had suspected. You regret it, in your eyes it is reflected. I can see you for the weakling that you are. I am safe now, no longer disconnected. My mind, is in agreement with my heart. You were broken, from birth so defected. While I have been granted a fresh start. Resurrected, with the help of an antiseptic.

I was a vagabond as I had grown much too fond of the way I'd searched the Earth for someone to show me my worth. You are equal to your weight in gold; diamonds do not shine as bright. They lose their lustre in the dark but I can always feel your light. It guides my way when lost at sea and glimmers in the deserts, so full of mystery. Our bond is much too strong, inspires envy in the hearts of those who desperately long to belong. I have finally met my match, like Napoleon at Waterloo. I battled and I fought only to be rewarded with you. I am as grateful as a man given a second chance at life. Like a prisoner granted parole, my life's sorrows you have consoled. You whisper softly to me as we lay together late at night, you remind me of the reasons why you are my saviour, my armoured knight.

Your perception of affection is a horrid misconception. You confuse and abuse the right to be excused. You persist with your kiss, yet I continue to resist. All your tries plus your lies should make you realize, it is you that I despise. I am fine, so divine; no longer feel confined. I am vain, quite urbane as I reject you from my veins. My pulse races, as it replaces all the memories of your embraces. We achieved so much more, than you and your whore, who by the way always seemed such a bore. What a chore, I'm relieved, I have scored a reprieve. From your touch, and your clutch, love kisses and such. I am strong, will prevail, my swan song has assailed. You won't last, in this world, with all your relics from our past. Feel my wrath, writhe and burn, as you stray from your path. I am safe, I am sound, the love is lost but I am found. I have beautified, as I increase in value, your beauty has died, as you have subdued. It's the end, no more pain, hearts will mend, freed fro...

When you left me here, I felt lost and afraid. My life's path was unclear, my destiny I had disobeyed. Every single tear, hit the ground like a grenade. I cursed you out of fear, as your abandonment cut like a blade. But now you have returned, and love has come again. The venom that once burned, has now become my friend. No longer concerned, as my heart will surely mend. Another lesson learned, still, on me you can depend. My love flows into you, through its eternal well. Long overdue, as you have cast an unbreakable spell. Our love is genuine and true, this time we will excel. In what our hearts were meant to do, your secrets I will not tell. We collaborated for so long, worked hard to make this last. To love's elite I once more belong, all expectations long surpassed. I envision a future so strong, and a legacy so vast. As you have been inside me all along, and now my heart beats so fast.

How can you say that you love me, then stray, refusing to look back as you turn to walk away. I thought I had learned better, no longer naive. I believed I would see the dagger hidden in your sleeve. Like a mere fly, I was drawn to the web of lies that you deceitfully weaved. You pierced my heart with your venomous words, the ones you spewed as I slowly burned. Betrayal fills my wounds, the ones you created. I danced to your tune, yet it was never reciprocated. You expect me to carry on as if it were a simple deed, such hostility you concealed in your thin veil of greed. How can you confuse love for lust, when I had abandoned my reason and assumed it was trust. I will succumb to my sorrow and surrender my heart, the one you shattered and tore apart. I will forever remain scattered, throughout the memories within your brain. They will haunt your soul, torment you as you quickly grow old. Memories will appear in the creases on your face, the ones that our love would only have replaced. T...

On my heart your name’s engraved. My bleak future you have saved. I am in awe, you’ve been so brave. And that’s why it’s your lips I always crave. They intoxicate me, leave me feeling weak. I am without words, I cannot speak. I turn to you, no longer oblique. Caught in a daze, as my lips brush your cheek. I follow your gaze, as it settles on my thigh. The love I have inside, is reflected in your eyes. No longer blinded, I see through your guise. Like an enlightened sage, I feel so wise. You have touched my soul, it has apprised. The poignancy of your words so bittersweet. Have resulted in the admittance of my defeat. I feel complete, no longer filled with conceit. I can now include myself in love’s elite.

I dance intoxicated like a dervish caught mid-whirl. My passion, my vulnerability momentarily unfurled. I blossom, I beautify like an oyster with pearl. I have matured, from a boy into an earl. Left in the open for all to see. The power of love that flows through me. Frantically searching for truth, I tend to agree. That love is similar to flying debris. It is cascading and pure, like a waterfall. Love allows you to play with another, like a doll. And even if you remain enthralled. I will always manage to recall. That I am drawn like a moth to a flame. I levitate towards you, like a groupie to fame. Whenever I am near you, my heart proclaims. That you are the one that will manage to tame. The way I am drawn to your allure. Like a patient drawn to his own cure I am especially demure. However, I will remain mature to ensure. That my vision is blurred, and my heartbeat races. And that I still only sense you, in crowded places. I am still getting lost in your embraces. You will be the one ...

I am the wind that moves your soul. I am the piece that makes your puzzle whole. I am the water that satisfies your thirst. I am the one that loved you first. You are the effulgence that radiates my heart. You are the one that loved me from the start. You are the one that lights up my sky. You are the one that makes me want to try. I soar above the world on the wings of a bird. You capture me in your arms, as if it’s me you’ve always preferred. I see the world through new eyes. You have helped me overcome all that I have despised. I believe in our future, filled with riches and gold. You make me feel appreciated, as if I am the only one you will hold. I imagine us together, bound by unrequited love. You give me the strength, when push comes to shove. I am the one that inveigles your skin. I am the fire that burns deep within. I am the embers, the ashes that remain. I am the fiery essence that courses through your veins. You are the passion that emanates through my pores. You are the be...

I envisioned you and somehow you came true. You wash away my hunger pains, like water washing down the drain. You have helped me on my search to gain consciousness on this Earth. I have awakened only to see the love I give is returned to me. I searched, on a quest I embarked, through the light and through the dark. I found myself along the way and listend to my spirit say, "I have finally met my match and made it out without a scratch." You have blessed me with your love, I fly above the world on the wings of a dove. Peaceful and serene, you were always a part of my dreams. Wild and alive, I am happy and grateful that I have survived. I foresee a future ahead and promise you no more tears will you shed. I cannot bear to see you cry, I love you, I adore you, I would much rather die.

Your competitive nature never failed to astound, at times it brought me down, like a king who has temporarily lost his crown. You aided and abetted the pain I felt inside; you gave me another reason to cower, to run and hide. I wish that somehow this pain would subside, now that in you I can no longer confide. You were chaste and I defiled you with my scorn. Misery and sorrow replaced the smile you had adorned. Should I continue to assume I was the cause of your downfall? Was I truly the one, that made it all fall down? No longer your shining star, I will love you from afar. I promise to stay around, if you ever need a friend. If you're ever broken hearted, your heart I will attempt to mend. All of my loving I will send, in the hopes that our friendship never ends. I must be confused to assume this could be, deluded to believe that it could be a reality. In that case, I will let you go. I will accept what I cannot change, and hope we do not become estranged. For in the end, you wer...

Inebriated again, as it slowly sets in. I feel akin, to one who has sinned. I lift my head up; hope it will be over soon. That I will be freed from this isolated commune. I am invincible, I can achieve all. I hope I’m forgiven, pray for my own fall. My ship has set sail, the darkness within has prevailed. Made attempts to no avail, lacking in detail. The kindness you have shown, have shown me better days. The sins for which I will atone, for my life that I betray. My sorrow has grown, as my happiness has withered away. Much to my dismay, it was my failure to portray. A man, a soul, one worthy of extol. You have granted me parole yet, failed to console. The sadness within that is out of my control. It emanates in my heart, seeps out through my skin. Much to my chagrin, I cannot help the pain I’m in. I sway, and I fall, I twist, and I crawl. I have not enthralled, have only appalled. You look at me in envy, as if I am a star. I stare at you, beguiled, entranced from afar. This continuous...

Insignificant and dependent as I was on my first day, I have followed your noble path only to be led astray. You failed to show the affection that I yearned, for far too long. So I have grown into my own and this is my swan song. I was once so brand new; I would hang on to your every word. The hostility has since faded, the resentment has since deterred. I prevented myself from falling further astray. And promised myself that solely you I would obey. You expected me to lie to you, as if this were a game. Even still, the slightest look from you is enough to put me to shame. I refuse to hide any longer; this is the person I have become. I cannot repent, to your wishes I will not succumb. I came to you with my secrets, my sorrows and my pain. I wanted you to listen, instead you regarded me with such disdain. I desired to fill you with pride in all the goals that I have achieved. Instead, I am filled with hunger, longing for a reprieve. I pray that soon you can look at me and proclaim. Tha...

In a field of roses, planted rows upon rows. I have found the seed of love and within me, it grows. Everyday I blossom, beautifully, and it shows. My heartbeat is so steady as you're the one I have chose. The stars above the world that shine, have shown me that our paths have aligned. Like a revelation, water turns to wine. The miraculous onception of our love so divine. The waters in our future are blue and crystal clear. And as long as you are here, paradise, it feels so near. My sorrows have taken flight and my fears have disappeared. I have seen so much pain, but for you I solely shed joy's tears. I have not much to offer, but a promise to your soul. Now that I have found you, together we'll grow old. My arms will give you shelter, they will never fail to console. I will always love you, for my heart your eyes have stole.

I endured your abuse, your torment for far too long. I tolerated your misuse, your neglect of my soul. I assumed you'd be the one that would make me whole, but now I realize it was me your eyes despised. They pierced my heart with daggers, I was blinded by your words. You've jaded the remnants of my sanity, yet still I long for more. I put up with your game and played until I reached my defeat, I marched to the beat of your relentless conceit. Your stubborness was attractive to me, as I felt I'd found someone who could unequivocally compete. You could have been a contender, I begged for mercy without surrender. My blackened heart refuses to pick up and resume, after all the hurt you have caused, the regrets they will consume. The remnants of my sanity and what was left of my dignity. I've been swallowed in a sea of pity, in which I'll drown for all eternity. I ask myself why I allowed this to persist, you insisted and I permissed, I see now that I was simply blinded...

Like a thousand splendid suns high ablaze in my sky, my heart guarantees me that you're the one that will teach me how to fly. The cold breeze I feel at times is warmed by your breath, your whispers on my neck, soothe my soul. keep mein check. As the stars align, creating constellations for us to see, I'm certain, without a doubt in my mind, our love will last an eternity. The flame within me burns endlessly, never flickers nor falters, as my feelings will not alter. You came along when I needed a saviour, and I'll forever be indebted, in my heart you'll remain embedded. Whenever I'm down, or feeling blue, I just let my thoughts drift to you. You are the only one that believes in me, you hold me close and help me see, that you're really the only one I need. You've resucitated my heart and planted love's seed. I'm no longer frightened or afraid to sleep, as this love is real and truly deep. I apologize for failing to realize that my actions disguise t...

You think you've met the one, only to realize, you took your eyes off of the prize. Defeated and done as you awaken from your stupor, the hypnosis subsides, leaving you alone with all the lies. She said she loved you, but alas, the truth comes out. She churns and twists in her attempts to conceal it, yet she spews it from her mouth. The love she claimed to feel crumbles to the floor, making you feel like you'd solely been her whore. You went through the motions, until it was routine. Desolate and isolated, you begin to feel the grief. Sorrow and remorse seep in through the wounds on my skin. The physical ones you caused me to create, reflecting on the love you easily turned into hate. I stare at them now, and see I've been defiled. I'm dirty, covered in sin but I can't stop my suffering. I've said my mea culpas, begged for my redemption; asked God to spare me from loving another, whilst I pray for my exemption.. My blackened heart hoped that you were the sun to ...

So listen up.  I'm so tired of people  assuming that they know  the real me.  So tired of them thinking that they're what's best for me.  Agitated, and irritated,  way beyond frustrated; why is it so hard for you  to to see that you hail from a class far inferior to me? Initially, it all seemed so pure - always chaste, made me contemplate that my emotions, effort and time would not just go to waste, but then - yet again, you've proven to me, age is relevant and so is mentality. You played your part well, made me believe that my love was well received but now we've drifted apart and you claim to have changed...while my love for you has endured for it was always genuine. I should chastise you, reprimand you and avenge myself, yet I choose to just let it be. Like a fairy tale, I assumed you were enchanted, but the end, so covered in disdain has shown me that everything we worked towards..was all in vain. So I bid you adieu, no more thinking of you. Loved ...

Your beauty, your charm, your unfathomable grace are the reasons why I'm binded to your chains. Ecstatic, at last, as I see through new eyes. My vision has cleared and I'm clearly mesmerized. The stars have aligned and now you're all mine. Enchanted and divine, my apprehension has resigned. And to whom do I owe this newfound bliss? None other than my beloved, of whose kiss I reminisce.

Our lifelong alliance, succumbed to the silence. And like a thief in the night, it robbed me of my sight. Stripped me of my happiness and enclosed me in a cave of darkness. I was left without my consciousness and it's you I shall accost for all this mess. Now you've left me here, crawling in the dark. Afraid for my life; are you satisfed now that you've made your mark? Emblazened your image deep within my head, my thoughts so full of dread. Can't help feeling like the living dead. Said you loved me but instead, I'm filled with betrayal. I wish I could say that you'd failed, but you haven't . . and your endless torment is what led to my demise. I should've realized it was me your eyes despised. My screams have finally subsided and turned into silence.

A true display of valiance as our hearts binded, creating an alliance, and all of your effulgence has brought about a radiance, that lights up my skies. For lack of a better word, I am now hypnotized. What do I need of these fools who can not see, how do I show you all you mean to me? The beauty I sought is now present in your eyes; tangible and real, nobody else has ever made me feel, all that you do. Love seemed like an emotion I had only experienced secondhand, now I've finally found what my heart desired - and all who conspired, now cower in shame. I'm inside your clutch, always longing for your touch as I'm no longer afraid. I now see all the love I give is being returned to me.

The fire burning inside me  had started to subside, caught up in memories of a love  you were unable to provide.  The light in my eyes flickered,  and went out without a fight, causing me to self-destruct;  how do I survive devoid of sight?  My blackened heart refuses  to pick up and resume.  The guilt you've burdened  me with  continues to consume  the remnants of my sanity,  refused to spare my dignity.  Swallowed in a sea of pity,  taught a lesson in humility.  Many years had passed;  assumed I had regained control; seemed like it'd been so long  since I'd been granted parole.  Not a promise, or a lesson;  just a disdainful release.  Content for the longest time,  I thought I was at peace.  Yet, you've returned, once again,  to wreak havoc on my soul.  Falling apart, scattered in pieces.  Broken again, love has paid its toll on my...