Saboteur.

Whirling in circles,
thoughts race through my mind
like I'm stuck in the spin cycle.
I thought I knew better,
believed I had learned from this.
Yet here I am again turning,
and twisting my words,
might as well take a book
and hollow out its pages–
rendering them useless.
Why do I do this.
Repeatedly committing
to this insanity that robs me of peace.
Oh man, why does it have to be
charcoal filtered;
it stings like lemon juice
in fresh splinters.
Paper cuts on my fingertips
that you drown
in overproof whiskey.
I hear a fizzing before
everything fades
to black then blue.
Is this the brand new me
or a recycled carbon copy?
A never before seen silhouette
or the same old ghost I used to be.
I just can't keep up,
racing against the clock
like it means anything.
Progress will not be forced,
it cannot be reproduced.
All the plastic in the ocean,
and I'm still more artificial.
Will this old, rust coloured bicycle chain
wear away so it finally can be replaced?
Because I swear I keep changing gears
and somehow still end up running late.
These wings on my back are just for show.
The horns inside my head continue to grow.
I cleared all the cobwebs.
Buried the skeletons in my closet.
But my demons remain.
They refuse to fade away.
These ghouls delight in my downfalls,
they applaud every single time I fail.
Snickering sheepishly,
bearing the sharpest teeth
from their seats in the audience,
they take pleasure in
watching me tumble from ecstasy,
landing face-first in what's left of me.
Beads of sweat dance on my forehead,
I stop to catch my lost breaths.
The room becomes a merry go round,
that has been hijacked by a bloodthirsty clown.
Vertigo takes control of me,
I collapse from anxiety.
Stuck in this funhouse maze,
my own distorted reflection
stares back at me in judgement.
White gloves reach through the walls
pulling me in every direction.
Suddenly chastised for patterns.
Through stagnating I gave my future
the kiss of death.
Through bated breath,
I accepted the consequence
for failing to progress.

Purification.

Have you been baptised in the river Ganges
or tasted the sweet, succulence of pomegranate?
It beckons you with a single gesture,
then lingers like fragrant jasmine.
No funeral pyre is complete without its song,
a haunting melody that intoxicates the senses;
glimpses of past lives flash in your mind
transporting you to simpler times.

10 Ways To Embrace Love Instead.

01. Aspire to focus on the good, and always count one's blessings.

02. Embody the change I wish to see, not only in the world, but also in myself by striving to be the best version of me.

03. Accept that setbacks occur, and learn to utilize them as a catalyst for growth.
03B. Then, revisiting these same lessons until they are learned, to prevent the formation of patterns.

04. Prioritze the people and things that serve the greatest good, distance oneself from those which are destructive.

05. Remember that each day is a brand new opportunity to conquer the world, and to wake up with an attitude of gratitude.

06. Take inventory with oneself regularly, in order to ensure all needs are being met.

07. Silence the mind long enough to listen to intuition.

08. Set out to accomplish at least one ignored task daily.

09. Realize health and self-care are crucial; strive to lead a healthier, cleaner life.

10. Defeat the urge to be hypercritical of others or of oneself; focus on honesty instead.

Hurt.

She permitted a single, sobering tear to stream down her right cheek,
as she tightened her grip on my hand, and began to speak:

"You asked me where it hurts, and forgiveness would not be an easy task, if I were to lie and pretend I am fine, instead of wearing many masks." 

"It hurts everywhere", she continued, "there is no inch of me without pain. Nor is there a moment in my day without ache, tension, or strain." 

Then the dam broke, and her sadness poured from her like a flood, 
waves of nausea washed over me at the sight of her sadness stained by civilian blood. 

"Take for instance, Israel or the Gaza Strip, right here in the Middle East," at this, she pointed to her abdomen and winced like it was being devoured by some unseen beast.

Humans have destroyed me, killing one another in the process,
the ugliness of man is unlike any other to prevent its own progress.

Their bombs rip me to shreds, and replace my beauty with craters; 
once there was a time the other planets envied my never-ending nature.

Now, they laugh at me, for allowing myself to grow old and decay,
if I could do one thing over, I would have refused to let humans have their way.

As soon as they invented gunpowder, I knew the end was near,
now I peacefully await my death, I no longer have any fear.

They forced one another into camps, waged wars creating wastelands, drained my oceans of water, and shortened my once eternal lifespan."

At this, she sagely crossed her legs and sat down on the ground,
she began to cradle Africa and screamed, without emitting a sound.

"This is where it all began, but then greed robbed my daughter of her speech, every evil man on Earth had his way with her, then erased her history with bleach

Once, her wildlife was teeming, elephants, and rhinos roamed the Serengeti, but now even her diamonds have been plucked and resold, although they were once free."

She began to cough, as she recalled nations overwhelmed by smog,
pollution filled her lungs, and toxic waste filled her arteries with clogs.

"I am unsure what I did to deserve such ungrateful guests,
who took the resources I gave them, then raped me and took the rest.

You asked me where it hurts, and I can only reply with 'everywhere,'
no mother exists who could survive her own child's chemical warfare."