At half past five each Friday,
Samuel keyed-in his security
alarm's four-digit code,
closing his office for the weekend.
He tightly clutched his
chestnut leather briefcase,
before hurrying to catch
the first train home.
Conceding to the defeat of his
heavy-framed tortoise-shell
Armani glasses while they
cut into the bridge of his nose;
Samuel unlocked his apartment door,
greeted Madge, his cat,
and then kicked off
his alligator shoes.
It was no secret at work that he was gay,
but their jaws would drop if they ever found out
he spent his weekends dancing in skin-tight dresses,
as a British woman named Samantha Fox.
Samantha had existed just as long as
Samuel had known that he was queer.
She came to life, one magical day when he
looked in a mirror but instead of his reflection,
she appeared.
He turned up the speakers,
blasting Aretha and Babs,
as he sat down to paint.
Priming his face for cake,
he glued down his eyebrows,
then let Samantha take the reins.
She sipped on a gin on tonic,
as she applied foundation
then contoured her face.
Within minutes, Samuel disappeared,
and Samantha sat in his place.
False eyelashes and acrylic nails
were the final touches to her look.
Samantha zipped herself into
a revealing royal blue dress,
then let her six-inch stiletto heels
carry her off into the night.
Broken down, like cardboard boxes.
You break me down, it's poison; toxic.
No matter what I do I can't get over
you just give me the cold shoulder.
It's freezing. I'm Arctic cold.
You broke my heart of gold.
Shattered it like shards of glass,
had me crawling through crab grass.
The pieces; my pieces are all scattered.
You paint me with the same brush,
as the rest, like I don't matter.
I'm slipping away now,
like a cartoon banana peel.
Your words cut me with their logic,
though you're yet to ask me how I feel.
Granite countertops, and ceramic tiles,
fill our household, devoid of smiles.
They laughed and said
I'm from a broken home,
little did they know, I am all alone.
A father? I've only known daddies.
The ignorance hurts me quite badly.
You reached out, a single arm,
like it was a token of your chiseled charm.
This paint is dangerous,
the asbestos in these walls cause me harm.
Daddy issues now, at nearly thirty,
make me feel defiled; dirty.
If I always had you, I would not rebel,
as though I have no clue.
Broken inside, bent exterior,
these gray walls can't hide my pain.
Yet, you ebb and flow into my life
like the tide, after heavy rain.
I miss you, dad-you broke me down,
left me so confused.
I had no idea how I would
ever feel like anything but a fool.
I needed you; like the flowers need the sun,
but you shut me out, and broke me down
like I was not your son.
So it's over now, there will be no refrain;
don't come crawling back again.
I can walk away, without a word,
I refuse to be your flightless bird.
Find me where the cacophony of sounds
meets the deafening silence.
Devoid of noise pollution,
where our bodies do the talking.
Search for me in the unbeaten drum,
I hide in guitar strings that have yet to be plucked.
Most evident in the pregnant expectation
of an audience awaiting an orchestra's first notes.
Where aria meets melody,
and where the beat tickles the rhythm;
you will notice me dancing between the lines,
like a whirling dervish, intoxicated.
I am in the sighs, and the frustration,
every exhalation between lovers in a spat.
There is much of me in their reconciling,
in the fire that rekindles their romance.
Listen closely and you will hear me,
in the few moments of silence
before the birds arise.
That is when I am most serene,
when I feel as tranquil as the sun
that is about to fill the sky.
At the bottom of the ocean,
where it is eerily quiet,
I can be heard singing with
the whales who break the intimidating silence.
When you are sad or lonely,
hush your mind and listen to your heart,
I will always live inside you,
for that is where I end and where I start.
Save your misery, to darken someone else's room.
I have had my fill, it's hard to carry on.
Your rainclouds won't go away, they stain the world with gloom.
Please just leave me alone, my sympathy is all gone.
I have had my fill, it's hard to carry on.
You prey on my happiness, and chase away my dreams.
Please just leave me alone, my sympathy is all gone.
Find somebody new to abuse, as I drain the poison from my bloodstream.
You prey on my happiness, and chase away my dreams.
Your rainclouds won't go away, they stain the world with gloom.
Find somebody new to abuse, as I drain the poison from my bloodstream.
Save your misery, to darken someone else's room.
