Without You.

Too many break-ups now, don't think we can make up.
How I wish it wasn't over, I wanted to grow older, with you.
With you, everything made sense, wanted a crib with a white picket fence.
Loved how you could end my sentences, like you were inside my head.

But now that you've left my heart feels so vacant, with a no vacancy sign,
closed for business 'til the end of time.
I kick myself now for not appreciating you when you were mine.
Our love was the greatest, we were the best team.

From sun up to sun down, you just consumed me.
I took it all for granted, with you.
With you, I hate myself for taking my eyes off of the prize.
But I have to learn to let go, see we failed even though we tried so hard.

Too many times now, I turn to my left at night
only to find emptiness in place of you.
I just yearn to feel your breath next to me, it was so comforting.
So often I imagine what you're up to and wonder if you're thinking of me too.

It's difficult to accept that I am not with you.
With you, I felt beautiful and new.
Difficult to deny that I didn't let you down,
that I was there when you needed to find solid ground.

You and I were so close to perfection, although we both felt deprived of affection. \

I just believed that you and me and
you and I and
we and us and
you plus me
could be together for all of time.

How naive of me to think it would all be fine.

With you, with you, without you now,
I must learn how to survive and let you fly.

Without you, I will stay alive but changed having felt our love.
So pure, so strong, nothing new could ever compare to you and I.
Without you, I take the reins and set off in a new direction, transformed by you
as I lick my wounds and say goodbye.

This love is my drug, my disease that refuses to grant me reprieve or
release as I feel I am covered in fleas.
I pray to God to appease me and wash away the pain I'm in,
so covered in sin because I still love you and I am suffering.

I clench my teeth in regret, so desperate
as I watch my emotions circle the drain,
running away from me again,
out of control and all in vain.

Like poison, they infect my brain,

I just want to be with you, just me and you,
so free and new. No longer blue
but fiery reds and Earthy greens.
I don't know why you need to be so mean,
when you have always been so dear to me.

I fear that we will just remain in this Purgatory,
strangers now though we have so much chemistry.
Love like this should not be history,
I miss when you were so good to me, the oxygen that I needed to breathe.

Oh how I am drowning now, without you here,
as I am forced to learn how to be on my own.
Loneliness is no stranger to me now that I am all alone.
Each day we created new memories that haunt me now so desperately.

With you, with you, without you now,
I must remember how to be the fighter that I am. 
As we are no longer entwined or hand in hand.

Without you by my side, it all feels so mundane.
Oh how I wish that I could just have one more night with you in my arms again.
It drives me insane, has me seeing your face everywhere that I look.
No room for anyone else now that love shall remain a closed book.

I only crave your lips, your scent that would
always linger on my fingertips.
Time was supposed to help heal all wounds
but these ones remain open and can only be fixed by you.

Without you now, I live a lie, each minute spent trying
to convince myself that you and I were just my imagination.

That there is no fascination that has me
unable to think of anyone else in the same way.
Hoping that I can pray you away, keep up with forgetting you until you fade away.

Without you now, I am my own best friend.
So that I never fall or break or bend or feel this way again.

Unwilling to let anyone in or for
my walls to fall the way they did with you.

With you and without you the lines are so blurred
that I am confused for I still love you more than anything else
I've ever known or encountered.

Without you now, I remain at home devoid of anyone to share my throne with.

I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you...but I want you.

Sorrowful.

I behaved in such a way that fills me with so much shame.
I slandered your reputation and tarnished both our names.
You asked for nothing but honesty and I just played foolish games.
Now that I am alone, so alone, I have to accept the blame.

Sorrowful now that I have no idea what tomorrow holds.
I chose to go astray instead of following your road to Rome that was paved with gold.
I claimed I wrote the book, my ego got in the way and I lost control.
Threw my arms up in frustration, didn't stick around to see how our story would unfold.

I spit on my past now as I cannot let it dictate our future.
Pretended that there were other qualified suitors,
but that was just a lie, a figment of my own imagination.
My wounds refuse to heal, only your hands can do up the sutures.
I close my eyes and cry for all I see is your picture...it's haunting me.

Possessed now as you're the one that loved me best.
I confess now that you're the one that stands taller than the rest.
Detest how I made you suffer through my worst.
But it's true how, I said I would always put you first.

Every day now, without you, feels like too many hours too long.
As I sit and daydream about you; then I sing you silly songs.
You were the closest I had ever come to perfection. 
Now I patiently await our love's resurrection.

Sorrowful now that I have no idea what tomorrow holds.
I chose to go astray instead of following your road to Rome that was paved with gold.
I claimed I wrote the book, my ego got in the way and I lost control.
Threw my arms up in frustration, didn't stick around to see how our story would unfold.

Amore, tu sei mio vita, te amo...
forever. I imagine us together, in Sicily
or strolling through the sands of Positano.
You brought colour to my life just like the Cinque Terre.
So elegant like in Milano.
In Napoli, we could eat gnocchi.
Just say you'll always be my blueby.

Sorrowful now that I have no idea what tomorrow holds.
I chose to go astray instead of following your road to Rome that was paved with gold.
I claimed I wrote the book, my ego got in the way and I lost control.
Threw my arms up in frustration, didn't stick around to see how our story would unfold.

Bluebies.

Love in all its magnificence can fill even the darkest spaces with light.
Genuine adoration and affection often warm the coldest nights.
To truly admire another knowing they feel the same, can satisfy even the most insatiable hunger pains. The stars and satellites in the night sky remind me only of your face, and when I lay my head down to sleep, I imagine you are right here with me.
Your eyes still sparkle behind my own, as your voice lulls me into my reverie.
There is nothing, no love in this world, like that between you and me.
Soon, you'll fly around the world, your dreams are taking flight.
I just clasp my palms so tightly and pray that soon we can begin our life.
I am yours eternally, together we can save the world.
With my childlike innocence and your heart as delicate as the finest pearls.

REMember Me

Last night, I slept without the need for dopamine. 
My reverie was filled with dreams of you and me.
Sweet serotonin slumber made me feel like it was summer.
You possess my every thought, my heart beat's a guitar and you are the drummer.
So in love, I need no pills now that I welcome my REM state with open arms.
Wrapped up in you, I'm safe from harm.
What I wouldn't do to have you next to me.
Just please promise not to forget, but instead remember me.
What good is nor-epinephrine if your heart is restless,
who needs to feel secure or happy if there's no one to share it with?
I claim to want to be alone just so nobody knows,
how my nights are filled with your caresses, your smile is my home.
My amygdala is where you reside, with all my pain put away, only pleasure remains.
I long to hear your voice, how I wish on all the stars that you were near.
Separation is too great a punishment, I fear.
I gave you something old, something borrowed and blue. 
New things even, as a promise I'll stay true.
One day, in the future, I know we'll reunite.
But until then, I pray our flame still burns as bright.
Just don't break my soul or heart any more, the damage is done.
Please promise not to forget, but instead, remember me.