Alone.

Logic would be appreciated if it helped me figure out a way to be okay,
to survive each tragedy, like acts of terrorism that leave me shaken but unscathed.
I no longer believe in miracles now that hope has let me down.
I had faith once, too, until it showed me that we are all alone,
until the day we die and from the moment we are born.
In theory, all the strategies to stay safe sounded like they could work,
until I tried to practice them and saw that my anger could not be reversed.
Deterred and feeling desperate, I tried to stay hanging on
though my grip was weakening with each new blow that I was dealt.
Reason became unreasonable to me, as fictitious now as fairy tales of mermaids in the sea.
Unable to accept the desert that I woke up and found myself dehydrated in, although I could acknowledge that my aggression was responsible for my loved ones' abandonment.
Unrealistic to assume the casualties of the war I waged against myself
were saints and could repeatedly forgive me for my torment.
I wish that I could just get it right so that love and I
would not always be like two ships passing in the night.

Holy War.

In you I saw the world, you became the eighth wonder faster than I could run away.
But then you took me by surprise,
I was caught off guard and shell-shocked when you left me,
now I'm blind.
My soul was elated by your touch, I felt like the only man alive from your attention.
Now I have been robbed of my ability to feel, my nerves unnerved in your absence.
I swear I can still smell the fragrance of your breath that gave me chills.
Each day seems longer and more empty now that you're not here.
Homesick because I miss the distraction that I felt inside your arms.
Hours could pass and then you'd depart,
oh how I craved you then, wishing you would stay.
Almost as if I knew a day would come when we'd say our last goodbyes.
Now I'm burning; my dreams can only be satisfied by you.
Validated by your existence, now the threads holding me together become loose.
I am still under your spell, just one look from you and I could fall again.
Hopeful that our story is not over, just on hold as I pray we can still grow old together.
I traveled far and wide, restless to find my missing piece;
my search led me to you and I knew instantly that you and I were meant to be.
My quest for love took me to California, Sydney and Halifax,
but I was not fulfilled until I looked up and found you staring back.
A holy war inside me that led me to Mecca and the Vatican,
unaware the God I was looking for lived inside you, the cure to my suffering.
Circumnavigated the globe searching for a reason to keep my faith alive,
and then you arrived and I melted like two inches of snow on a warm day.
The collision of our hearts was more powerful than an atomic bomb;
two souls that fit together as though part of some bigger plan.
My love flowed from me to you and back again;
my strength increasing as I felt like I was being revived.
Now I call you just to hear your breath, I close my eyes and pretend it's on my neck.
Gone now as I mourn your loss and it becomes increasingly clear,
that I am responsible for our ruin;
I just wish that I had cherished you when you were here.

Indoctrination Irritation.

I am angered by apathy and others' ignorance most often as their incompetence is unfounded
in an age where information is readily available at the click of a button.
Hatred and bigotry are not inherent yet are as common as if they were innate.
Learned behaviours prevail as an eye for an eye ideology has left the whole world blind.
I try to avoid judgment though it's difficult when I encounter so many passersby that are unkind.
A man's character should be assessed based on the contents of his heart
yet still some have been infected by greed for money and power, the reasons why wars start.
Incensed by the lack of empathy that exists in a world controlled by consumerism, as though worth can be measured by the materials we possess.
Annoyed by arrogance, I strive to stay conscious of my confidence and grounded by my acceptance of the impermanence of all.
Bothered by blind faith which burns throughout the human race, as we are forced into a system that has no place for free thinkers robbing them of a face.
The stigma attached to questioning things or daring to look inwards is like a scarlet letter that labels us as insane.
Yet a society that stands for nothing and falls for everything is somehow not deranged.
It begs the question of whether it's perception or deception that categorizes
depression as a chemical imbalance residing in the brain.

Life of Pi.

My efforts are like rescuers that saved me when depression left me bereft and lost at sea.
Floating in a life preserver, with doubts inside of me that were more ferocious than a Bengal tiger. Dangerously close to the edge, and on the brink of extinction, I peeled back the layers of my guards that made my eyes cry like onions.
I watched helplessly as the remnants of my security were swallowed by the relentless waters of the Indian ocean, deprived of graves, their final resting place was in the Marianas Trench.
Somehow I made it out alive and managed to do so even though I was soaking wet and drenched.
I learned to tame the beasts that were my fears that if monetized, would have made me a billionaire. Somehow I stayed afloat, in retrospect, it was my hope and faith that worked behind the scenes to keep me safe and sound.
Ashamed to admit that there were far too many days that I believed it would've been better if I had just drowned.
Denial filled my head, echoing like screams that ricocheted in the Grand Canyon.
It was then that I discovered my spirit contained the indomitable strength and resilience that I had hidden twenty thousand leagues under the sea inside of me.
Like a lost continent found, my soul is the Atlantis that I've come upon.
Castaway from civilization is what it took for me to conclude that my perseverance is still cause for celebration.
Now I roar like Poseidon, I am king again, like Triton.
I narrowly escaped my perilous ruin, slightly scathed but otherwise okay.
The depths of my despair decreased as my lungs filled up again with air.
I have become immune to the trauma, radical acceptance helped me triumph over my salt water sorrows that tried to bury me alive underneath the sands of shallow, superficial drama.