Only One

I watched you as you were forced to walk away, knowing that I was the cause for your emotional decay. Even though I had shown you a life filled with nothing but dismay, I knew you would return, so we could be together until the end of days. Not in the distant future, or for months to come, but I had known, all along, that you were always my only one. As I burnt my candle on both ends, watched the leaves change colour, and lost friends; I came to realize that the grass is never greener on the other side. You were always my pride, my joy; the only one with whom I could be coy. I gave you my world only to keep taking it back, as I fell off track of the path that would lead to my salvation. Much to my frustration, I sought others to replace the void that I had created by pushing you away, only to be led astray. Now you have reemerged to save the day once again, heard my cries of defeat and saved me from my life's toxic cocaine, I can breathe once more, no longer feel the need to take heed and be the object of another's affection. You are the direction in which I pray, the pillow on which I lay. My shelter throughout the storm as yours are the arms that keep me warm. In your absence, I prayed for God above to make me strong, tried to convince myself that my decision was not wrong. I can no longer inflict pain on the one that I love, I have to rise above and turn our house into a home. I will decorate it with adoration, as I paint the walls with our trust. My life will once again be a celebration, no longer the outcome of another's lust. I am wiser now, as I learn the lessons that I must, no longer filled with sorrow, or covered in disgust. I can be the man you know I am from now until the end, just as long as you promise to support me and never condescend. At times, my inner child will want to come out and play, please treat him with kindness as he gets upset when he cannot have his way. Ultimately, you are the one that fills my heart with cheer, like laying by the fire and ringing in the new year. We will grow together now, until we are old and gray; my last breath will escape peacefully, as those three words not uttered enough will be the last that I will say.

Lost at Sea

Lost at sea, I gave you my all and failed to maintain a connection with the real me. My impermanence refuses to allow for me to remain enamoured by you, I lost my sense of judgment for someone so untrue. Unencumbered now as that was long ago; I am better suited to reap whatever I sow. I placed my trust in your hands, as you sharpened your blade on my neck; the cause of death for many a knave, I am no longer your prisoner, yet still my own slave. I gave you my prize, hoping that it would guarantee many years ahead, and a life that is seemingly secure. I was lied to and mistaken, as I reflect in retrospect and realize that I was forsaken. Our Eden held promise, we could have survived in our very own Paradise without a fight. Instead, you defiled my Heaven with your Hell; betrayed me, assuring that my secrets you would not tell. Like a knife, you cut so deep, causing internal bleeding; I blame myself for being so weak. Meek no more, I will stand up for all that I believe in; sing my reprieve and wipe my tears on my sleeve. You passed all my tests and filtered like gold through my sieve, until your true colours emerged and I saw that you were merely a thief. You stole my time, lost forever like the memories that have since faded away. They mesh with my dreams, confusing my reality and offering me no solace in the waking hours between sleeps. You were a wolf disguised as a sheep, your intentions always malicious, spiteful until the bitter end. I can only pray that one day we will make amends, and possibly even remain friends. This is but a wish in my well, as your stubbornness refuses to allow you to mend my heart's cursed spell. I toiled against the grain, hoping to keep you sane; exhausted my blood, sweat and tears to fill your world with cheer. I must now pinch myself to ensure that I stay awake, as I drag the remnants of my dignity out from the depths of my own mistakes. I used to think I would learn from every experience that came my way, until the very day that you crossed my path and filled my life with disarray. I will attempt to put my best foot forth, balanced on the fence as my raft slowly makes its way to land. I walk ashore as the tide ebbs and flows, no longer yearning for your touch, I take my own hand as I begin to understand that no man is an island.

Recovery

I awaken to find my heart ripped out of my chest; damaged at best, as I struggle to put my thoughts to rest. Your own will never thaw, frozen as the Arctic white. I naively assumed that we could remain, friends until our dying days. But I clearly jumped the gun, as you have started to run, refusing to look back as I fade to black. Now I must regain the strength to win again, I have to get back on track in order to avoid the omnipresent risk of attack. In retrospect it has become crystal clear, that you were only here to help me retrace my steps. Now that I have, it's clear as day, you were Goliath and I was your prey. I attempted to slay you with my mind, but my wit was no match for your malice. I wanted to give you the world, like the Taj Mahal, I was ready to build you your very own palace. But instead, you chose the road less travelled, and decided to revert to being callous. Jaded now, I turn the pages of my life, forced to move on and improve the quality of my life. I refuse to allow this love to conquer my spirit, decline to pursue one so subdued. You were once like Manna from Heaven, made my stars seem brighter from above. You illuminated my nights and brightened my days until your true colours showed, and my heart you slayed. If you had stayed, I would have shown you my world, as fragrant as the bouquets I once showered you with. Instead, your stubbornness overcame your altruism, leaving a void that is certain to never be filled. Nonetheless, I am thrilled to embark on a journey where no man has gone before. My happiness restored, I don't need you anymore. No longer immersed in your endless boredom, your lack of judgment made me lose my will to fight. I have recovered, prepared to take flight, as I have reached a depth that will allow me to truly get over you. I will reach superstardom, and light up the sky like a flame. While you will be left bereft, quivering as you remember my name.

Glee

As the loneliness sets in, I am forced to come to terms with the skin that I am in.

This person that I have neglected yearns to be accepted, no longer made to feel like a diamond in the rough.

My diminishing lustre threatens to devour me whole, putting an end to the light that I have tried too hard to emit.

My thoughts are charred, burnt to a crisp; recklessly abandoned, as I now speak with a lisp.

Insecure and unadored, my tumultuous fervour will never be restored.

I should have seen this coming, as it was inside me all along.

The inevitability of my sorrows will never allow for me to belong. I refused to follow you into the promised land, like Moses leading his people through the Nile river grand.

I chose to remain a slave for money until confronted by my death, like the last great king of Scotland, I called myself Macbeth.

I slew the demons that haunted me, the ones I would run from in my past.

But alas, my troubles had trained long and hard, they caught up with me quite fast.

I hid behind my veil, refusing to set foot under the sun, until your love destroyed my certainty and pulled the trigger to my gun.

Unburdened now by life's ailments, I can count my worries on one hand. I sail through the skies, and gaze at the seven seas. No longer diseased, I feel like I can breathe.

I should never have lost sight of the goals I had before you, neglected all of my loved ones and made myself taboo.

I may be the dimmest orb shining in the starry night, but I know that one day, I will manage to reignite the fiery passion that dwells deep within me, devoid of lock or key.

Like a rising phoenix, I will emerge victorious, eternally filled with glee.