Spendthrift

You always seem to want to place a price tag on our love, as if money is comparable to this gift from up above. Although I may not be made of riches, or have enough to buy you gold. I can assure you that I will never fail to be there when you need someone to hold. They say that the best things in life are free, yet for some reason you selfishly make me feel like I am running on empty. I cannot offer you caviar, or trinkets from afar; but I can look into your eyes at night and feel like I am gazing into the stars. I have tried for so long to show you that I value none of this, tried to explain to you that I am happiest when we kiss. Your embrace is worth its weight in diamonds and pearls, the moments that we share alone make me feel like I am on top of the world. I appreciate all that you have given me that cost you hard earned dollars and cents, but I cherish little sentiments more than the money that you have spent. I am a sheep in wolf's clothing, disguised by my own flaws. I am a simpleton at most, refusing to conform to societal laws. I am less superficial than I make myself out to be, yet somehow this escapes you as you recount how much you have dwindled on me. When we cuddle late at night or see all the pretty sights, I can guarantee that I feel like the bourgeoisie. I do not need you to work hours to buy my happiness; as you already have my love, why is it so difficult to digest? My love is as priceless as the simple memories that we share, my bounty is as endless as an eternal affair. Hopefully in time you will be able to accept, this concept that confuses you and often leaves me upset. I know that money does not grow on trees and that it can be hard to come by, but I would rather spend a fortnight just staring at your smile. Roses, chocolates and valentines will never be declined, but the gesture is more appreciated and so is the time. I pray that one day you see, as my soul is crying out, that I have loved you from the start as I am your soul mate without a doubt.

Guillotine

I thought that I was invincible in my superhero's garb. I donned my cape and costume only to be disarmed. You were my Waterloo and I was forced to taste defeat. It tasted bitter on my tongue, similar to the most unhygienic street meat. I continued on a road I knew I never should have taken, hoping that one day my pride would die and I would be awakened. But instead, I've been forsaken. I refused to lose and as a result I lost it all. I never would have imagined that love could make me feel so small. I was shaken to my core, it tore my heart apart like lightning. You were the thunderbolt that made love become so frightening. Reclusive and paranoid, my future you have destroyed. I had all the potential in the world, I could have gone so far. I traded it all to be with you, and now I am afraid to dare to reach for the stars. I was once so confident, majestic in my own right. Despondence is my new name, as I have lost all will to fight. This charade has turned into such a facade, like the crises in the Middle East I can hear the sirens in my own personal Riyadh. No God could save me now, as I am in much too deep. At night, I lay down my head and silently weep. I cry for injustice, and the cross that I must bear. I sob indulgently as I wring my hands in sheer despair. You have made it your goal to wreak havoc on my soul, as I have been left, bereft and required to reap the evil that you sow. Sorrow has written its name upon my heart, as I passively accept it and allow you to resume your farce. I regret that we met, on a night so pristine; you were my executioner as I placed my head so trustingly into your guillotine.

Deception

I abused your trust with such tyrannous lust, like a sadist I beat you with my lies until you were begging for the truth. I had your life wrapped around my fingers as I ripped your heart off of your sleeve. I hurt you more than words can say, granted you no reprieve. My love was permanent but I got lost along the way. I took your emotions for granted as I offered you death's bouquet. I exhibit the symptoms of a personality split. I am ambitious and determined, yet always fail to thoroughly commit. The reason for my sorrows hides behind my deep set eyes, I conceal it from the world like a much coveted prize. Many have tried but only few have managed to unveil, the truth behind these lies that I have weaved into elaborate fairy tales. I told you it was love even though I was unsure. Concealed the truth from you and made you believe that I was demure. I committed grand theft as I left you so bereft, violated you with treason and forced you to abandon all reason. Logic had failed long ago, as I left you stranded on love's morose death row. On a whim, I was simultaneously macabre and grim as I watched you suffer, wishing that you were still with him. Larcenous, as I made you question your sanity, my vanity increased as I barraged you with profanity. You will forever remain the sole exception to my karmic beliefs, the only victim in my twisted game of deceit. I am filled with conceit as I lie through my teeth refusing to concede my defeat to one so weak. You should have escaped when you had the chance, my vindictiveness has been unwrapped and I am ready to wreak havoc and make you shamelessly dance.

Mediocrity.

All of my childhood haunts of yesterday, have drifted, simply gone away. Forced to grow up in a world that refuses to let up, until my fickle heart is hopelessly fed up. If I am a prisoner here and I am not permanent, then why am I required to leave behind a superficial imprint? One of a life lived but unfulfilled, full of misery and swallowing pills. Colour me green as I stare into your life. Devoid of pain and devoid of strife. You are from a class above, restricted by nothing but the money that you love. You may indulge in the pleasures of the world, but it is my oyster and I am its pearl. I am not interested in tasting caviar from afar, as I can be introspective and still touch the stars. Superficiality has convoluted the earth causing us to truly forget its worth. Politicians persist in polluting with policies gone awry. Poverty prevails as orphaned children rightfully cry for parents that have died. Materialism malnourishes mortals into a meagre state, and still you stubbornly claim that money can buy you a worthy soul mate. Although money makes your world go round, I would rather centre on ideas that are much more profound. Like a medium, I enthral as I am aglow. I may stumble and fall, but always reap what I sow. I refuse to live a life so mundane, that I am forced to vacate just to escape. I am the master of my own domain, I have grabbed life by the reins, as I watch it fall back into shape.

Nirvana

I was asked tonight, why my writing spells heartbreak. I choked on an answer, as I was shaken awake. Now that my eyes are open, I can genuinely see. That you are not the one, I assumed that you could be. I am stuck in the past, and haunted by your lies. Your mask has come off, and I now see through your disguise. Yet still I levitate, to the beauty that you emanate. I see beyond the negative, and see that you are my soul mate. You have lifted me up, so high that the world looks like a maze. You have brightened my world so much, that it's solely you that can amaze. I am happy for once, as I can feel the warmth of the golden sun. My life is not ending, it has simply just begun. Our love is stronger than metal, it can not be undone. You shine brighter than diamonds, you must be composed of pearls. I am drawn to you, as our destiny unfurls. I began my metamorphosis after being seduced by your kiss, remain entranced as I sleepily dance. My evolution started once I lost myself in your eyes, you held me captivated like an enchanted sunrise. I await the day where your arms will be my solace, as we grow together and grow old and grey, enraptured in our reciprocal bliss. I could not have imagined a love so pure and sacrosanct, intoxicated by you as I take another sip. I know you will always catch me if I fall and that you will do all that you can to ensure that I never slip. You are the waters that carry me to shore. Your love has enriched me, with you at my side nothing has the capacity to bore. Your voice lulls me to sleep and carries me high, I have attained Nirvana with you at my side.

Toxic

You undressed me with your malice and adorned me with your scorn. I was the rose and your love was my thorn. The undefeated champion of life's game for so long, until you set out to write my fate forced me to lose my title and turned me into a lightweight. You vandalized my soul with your deception as I lost my sense of self. Made me second guess my own perception at the cards that I had been dealt. I was once king until you deceitfully plotted to steal my throne. Conjugated me with your stubbornness, and left me all alone. You expected me to be as silent as a lifeless mannequin, as you dressed me with your hatred and painted my skin with your chagrin. You adorned me in clothing that was always of your choice, my refusal to defend myself resulted in the loss of my voice. Disparaged is my sense of pride as you vindictively mass produced my body and shipped replicas of me worldwide. If I were in my normal state of grace, I would have found the courage to leave you and this hate filled place. But angels could not fall as hard, as I never stopped yearning for your cold and venomous embrace. I was once filled with beauty, passersby would stop to stare. Instantly enchanted by my long and lustrous hair. Consequently, my mane has thinned it is now just like my blood. Reminiscent of Noah's Ark as the great flood left bodies in its wake. I am now a natural disaster, dehydrated, and a mistake. I was once able to fill boutiques with my esteemed style and look. Now instead I can only be found in children's colouring books. I recall the day when I was your greatest muse. It seems like eons ago now that I am the sole victim of your timeless abuse. I have said my mea culpas and repented to God above; eternally left questioning why I am the recipient of the most toxic kind of love.