Kash Baloch — Poetry on Identity, Love, and Survival

Woken from a nightmare that seemed to never end, I have reached my Waterloo, and also found my very best friend. Mesmerized, I dance entranced, like the whirling dervishes of Istanbul, you have intoxicated me like elixir, as I now see the cup as half full. Follow me, and take my hand, we will have our Eden as your body is my Wonderland. Your kisses make my lips quiver, and your touch makes my whole body shiver. You have scared away my stutter, I am no longer afraid to soar. I spread my wings, and take off, you have shown me what my heart is for. Every time that you are with me, I feel so positive. As the love flows reciprocally, for once, I am receiving all that I give. Our bodies rise, and fall as one, as the passion takes control. You are the missing piece that has made my puzzle whole. From your eyes, I feel the warmth of a thousand suns as they rise. You have saved me from myself, as you are my reward for all of the unsuccessful tries. Each day spent with ...

Dreaming whilst conscious is something I thought to be impossible until you entered my life. Prior to this, I thought that this feeling was only true in fairy tales; enchanted, I take your hand and dance dazedly in a room full of strangers unconcerned with whether anyone is watching. They might stare, and criticize, but they fail to see the amber fire that flickers fiercely behind my eyes. Your velvet kisses that make me weak, and your touch that makes me blush, have added more purpose to my smile, as I'm helplessly inside your clutch. The hunter has become the hunted now that you are here with me, it was only possible once I stopped myself from searching for a cause to be happy. I found the cure inside myself, as real happiness comes from within; much to my chagrin, I refuse to stop myself from falling. The days I spend with you are reminiscent of paradise, the warmth that you emanate is now all I need to feel enticed. Nights with you are blissful, as I f...

Serene, as the blues and aqua greens wash over me, cleansing my soul of toxicity. Your eyes have lit my path, and I am in the dark no more, relieved to finally be disassociated from wrath. I take your hand trustingly, knowing that like my shepherd you will not lead me asunder or astray. As certain as the sun, I know that you will rise in the east, and set in the west at the end of my days. A night spent with you is as surreal as Dali's dreams realized through art; your name now circulates with my blood throughout my body, continuously passing through my heart. On Noah's ark, you would have surely been the partner that made my pair complete, yours is the kind of beauty that could never become obsolete. The three wishes I had been granted need not be fulfilled now that you have arrived, conscious of you now, I wonder how prior to you I had ever survived. Alive, oxygen fills my lungs with a fervour that puts fire to shame; torrid and blazing as it lights me up,...

A weekend of ecstasy and sheer, unadulterated bliss sealed with the most sensuous, and seductive kiss. A kiss from a rose would not be as sweet, as laying in your arms and listening to your heartbeat. I thank the Gods above for leading me right to you, for taking away the blues, and allowing me to feel something so pure, and true. You have captured my heart, and my soul follows along; I cannot wait to collaborate with you to create the most beautiful songs. I yearn to show you that you can be happy, too, if you take my hand and follow me to a land where we can start anew. I will make you my prince and bestow you with endless love, just as long as you stay faithful and push never turns to shove. I refuse to accept all the things I would reject in the past. Lying and cheating will only make love grow old fast; with you, I long to do everything right. Undo the wrongs I have done, and finally take flight. With new eyes, and an updated perspective on lif...

As one proverbial door closes, another opens and opportunistic me jumps at the chance. Fragments and remnants of memories of yesterday remain in my head where they passionately dance. They twirl, and swirl, painting my consciousness with colour, angst, and humour. My decision to walk away from you, and find myself was the best I have ever made and liberated me as you were my malignant tumour. I seethe as I breathe, piecing together the puzzles that were left unfinished as I work towards letting go of the past. I gain insight from my introspection, no longer focused on trying to outlast, but rather working on relinquishing my ego and getting over my obsession with what's reflected in my looking glass. The pills you gave me were the ones that made me feel so small, unlike Alice yours was not a Wonderland but rather a dystopia served to me from my own hands. The aftermath of you found me broken, and in shambles; I hope you understand that...

The similarities we share are too many to count on one hand, you are my same and it makes me want to hold your hand. I long to hold you in my arms, and never let go; as my future lights up, my heart is aglow. I realize now that life works in mysterious ways, I am filled with vibrancy today, although yesterday my world was coloured in greys. You have blindsided me and taken me by surprise, as I think of you, I feel the warmth of a million suns rise. Your voice puts me at ease and helps me sleep, washing away the tears, no longer compelled to weep. I yearn to feel the touch of your velvety skin against my own, it will soothe me like the wind and then carry me home. You have shown me that good things surely come to those who wait; I cannot wait to witness the beauty of the art that we collaborate to create. You whisper words of wisdom that fill my heart with peace, you have helped me fight my demons and provided a means for release. I want to take you by your arm and ...

A momentary lapse in judgment led me right into your arms, where I have found serenity as I become further beguiled by your charms. My intuition tells me to proceed with caution, or to prepare to be disarmed. Captured like a butterfly, you have caught me off guard. With hope in my heart, I pray that past patterns do not repeat again, for my heart is already scarred. I tread carefully trying to avoid awakening the sleeping sickness, that once made my house a home and then set it on fire, watching it burn into a smoky abyss. With God as my witness, I take my first steps as I am welcomed by your noble knights. Awed by the beauty that surrounds me and enamoured by its sights, I long to see my name lit up by your flashing lights. Precociously pleased by the notion that it could all be mine, as I hold your hand and make the move that will hopefully leave us entwined. With innocence in my eyes, my vulnerability seeps through my skin; you have warmed me with your sunrise,...

Broken by the memories that haunt my conscious state, I curse the Gods in misery for my dreaded fate. I tried to grow, and be positive, but this love has only transformed into hate, you were sadly the one that I had mistaken for my soul's true mate. I yearn to feel your hands wrapped up in my own, and crave to feel the softness of your lips that so often reminded me of home. I long to smell the scent, the fragrance of your own cologne, and still desire to see the beauty and majesty that line the streets of Rome. I want to travel around the world with you and taste all of its exotic foods, I need to relive and hear the melody of our joyous étude. I wish upon the stars up high that one day we will see, the canals in Venice and then take the train to Germany. I can still taste you on my tongue although your memory is quickly fading away, please come back and fill my world with colour again; take away the greys. I feel the coarse and rough remorse that stabs me, jag...

Watch my handstands, take in my magic tricks, as you play your last hand, I am no longer transfixed. I stood idly by as you stole all my sheep, turned them into your own, and then resold them for dirt cheap. You sit on your throne, like the king that created change, yet you initiated nothing, you're only the king of all things deranged. I am a star in my very own right, I do not need to spread my wings in order to take flight. I was born to win, paid the cost to be the best. Watch my sun rise, and then set in the west. I am a sure thing, consistency resides within me, you are hit or miss, living in your world of childish self-pity. Your city's been conquered repeatedly like Bahrain, I made ruthlessness my friend stopping at no end to ensure the pain you inflicted would be felt by you again. Vindictive in my own right as I stripped you of your sight, made you crawl around in the dark, then ignited the spark that burned you alive like Joan of Arc. Your ship...

Now that your cards have been dealt, I wish you well as I watch the acidic rain pour down on you as you painfully melt. Inspired although you left much to be desired, your layers peel away to reveal the ugliness of you that cut like barbed wire. Your time has run out along with your fifteen minutes of lame, you tried to play me but I beat you at your own foolish game. I have regained my strength and rebuilt the walls that you broke down; I have conquered armies and watched them fall only to re-earn my crown. Some say there is power in numbers but I learnt to stand and hold my own alone. I created a monster out of you, but just wait until you're punished when I return to my throne. You had me fooled as I believed I had caught a falling star, you were the weakest of my conquests and the easiest by far. I smile spitefully as I watch you lay blindly upon your bed of lies, feel renewed and splendid as you near your dear demise. What made you think that I was even in...

The more volatile you were, the more I was drawn; if our love was Chess, I would have been your pawn. I craved your whips and your chains, wanted to refrain but the temptation of your poetic pain always overpowered my masochistic brain. I regressed the pain but it would just wash down and over me like acid rain. I thought you were the one but you were just spun. Like Rapunzel weaving endlessly, you toiled all night until you filled my heart with nothing but sheer, demonic fright. How audacious of you to accuse me of doing wrong, when you blackened my lips and burnt my soul with your thorny song. You will die alone, crying out in your sleep, once you realize your sadness is what you have reaped. Cry your crocodile tears, stop distracting me while I hold the steering wheel. Your meagre issues are tired and lame, cancelled my subscription so that I could remain ahead of the game. How dare you assume that I will pick up and resume, you have embarrassed me while making me even more unhapp...

A new sun dawns in my hazy morning sky, capturing my heart's song like the most precious lullaby. Your eyes speak volumes of the pain that you have endured, but I am here now so you can rest assured. I will take you in my arms and wipe away the tears, as I speak to you of visions I have of future years. We will hold one another's hand as we find the strength to proceed, thank you for showing me what it means to truly succeed. I crave your lips and your thoughts so profound whenever I am down, lost and then found, you have added spirit to my life's unoccupied ghost town. We can climb the highest mountains and sail the lonely seas, as you fill my head with stories whispered by your voice that is reminiscent of a summer's breeze. Intrigued to say the least, I feast upon you like the finest cuisines of the Middle East. Like frankincense and myrrh, you are the greatest gift of all; just promise me you will be there to catch me when I fall. I trust in you...

I ride the train home with my heart in my hand, knowing walking away is the right decision. You were a skilled surgeon, with the knife in your hand that broke my heart with your final incision. Naiveté led me to believe that you were the knight who would save my dreams, I assumed we were two peas in a pod as you used your charm to trick me into thinking we were a team. Misled again as the blood drained from my face, filling my journey with horror as I long for the pain to be replaced. I refuse to regress and return to past vices, although they are tempting, sobriety is more enticing. I want to be conscious as my soul cries out with pain, I yearn to feel the sorrow that washes over me like the rain. We could have conquered castles and taken over Rome, but instead I seek out my mother's hand, hoping to feel the comfort that is home. Unburdened of your child's play, colour no longer seems as bright; as the silent reverie I find in sleep veiled in the darkness that is ...

Everything falls into place so perfectly, smoothing out my picture and providing serenity. Calm now that the storm has passed, collected as I realize that the days went by so fast. I am overcome with peace that washes over me in waves, forgiven of my sins my future has been saved. I have let go of the past that haunted me in my reverie, survived the fire like a phoenix rising from debris. I hold on tight to my security for it has taken so long to appear, as I count my blessings one more time, so thankful that I am no longer filled with fear. Destroyed in seconds was the notion of love that we were convinced was real, as I take a deep breath and listen to my heart and how it feels. I could no longer endure the pain of playing pretend in a glass house, I have emerged with strength as I transitioned into man from mouse. I no longer hide behind stories and lies, I have realized that the love I feel inside only needs to be reflected in my own eyes. I feel the warm summer rain as it cleanses...

Disguised in a coat of your own lies, the truth hides behind your eyes sending frissons of terror up and down my spine. From the moment you were mine, I knew something was off, as you lustfully electrocuted my heart and made me cough. The shock of finding you plotting my assassination made me lose my breath, you were my most fickle fascination. You pervaded my mind and rewired my brain, until I was morbidly mundane; it was not an admirable state, just heckled with habitual hate. I created a monster, you were my Frankenstein, as you ravaged my England with your flawed design. Lightning and thunder cowered in shame when you were around, as you reaped my soul and I was happily homeward bound. You were the thorn that cut my insides, filled my heart with bitterness then tossed me aside. You were the zit that refused to leave, as you weaved stories that you expected me to believe. Naive no more, I have walked out the door into a life of my own. I am the king now, you have been ...

Enchanted once again as my heart skips a beat, you have filled me with such wonder that I have no words left to speak. Intrigued in every way as you have brightened my days, filled my nights with light and charmed me as sweetly as classical ballet. I gaze into your eyes and catch glimpse of the stars, reassuring me that happiness is not too distant, you can be my Spanish guitar. With your body and my bow, we will play the most beautiful music known to man, it will resonate throughout the world and settle amongst the cherry trees that line the streets in Japan. Your intellect astounds me making me hunger for your lips, I will devour you ravenously like an ethereal eclipse. You are my biggest aphrodisiac, chocolate pales in comparison to you. You will surely be my best muse as you have made me feel renewed. Your aroma fills me with peace like a Turkish café, reassured as I am certain that you will always meet me halfway. I bask in your company as if it were the sun, you hav...

I want to crack your bones and make you a stew, full of ingredients that collaborate to create poor, pathetic you. One spoon of ignorance to represent your mind, always stubbornly refusing to see that you are hardly one of a kind. A dash of lies to symbolize your worth, you are a waste of breathing air that defiles this Earth. Two cups of delusion to add fire to the flame, you should be ashamed for always pointing the finger and never accepting the blame. A recipe for disaster of epic proportions, your traumatic design should have been aborted. I am liberated and devoid of your pubescent games, I will surpass your place in life, as you die alone muttering my name. You are the most pathetic of God's creatures in this land, even more so than insects in the sand. I abhor you for seeking pity from others without ever admitting your own faults, you slander my good name like I am the wound, while you are simply made of salt. A curse upon your house that I strive to o...

Your beautiful grey eyes washed away my blues, as I longed to take your hand and follow you into a world devoid of taboo. No lies, just the truth, as you kissed away the pain and rekindled my youth. I yearn to live to see the day when I will have you in my arms to hold, hopelessly entranced by your touch that makes me feel like gold. You have rescued my heart from the pain it has endured, freed me from the cancer like the long awaited cure. You were the answer to my prayers, as you cleared the cobwebs from my head and saved me from the dreadful despair. With you I can imagine a future filled with light, as my inner voice resonates throughout me assured that you will keep me warm on lonely nights. Your voice filled me with reason, washing over me in waves, you added summer to my season, it is your lips that I desperately crave. I am addicted to your fragrance, wanting to bathe in the scent of you. You have lifted my spirits, and made me feel renewed. Your beauty is...

You ate my skin, devoured my brain, lied to my face and then left me out to rot in the acid rain. You victimized me like my own personal Hannibal Lecter, as you were the most skilled and captivating soul collector. You ravaged my city, and pillaged my town, raped all its women and then left me to drown. The seas swallow me whole adding to my rage, as I contemplate the ways in which I will rampage. I will run through your neighbourhood with your head on my sword, valiantly display my triumph, your blood was my reward. I feel like I have won an academy award, as my honour feels restored after being ignored for far too long. My swan song includes some ammunition for the way you wasted my time, in my prime, it is easy to see that you were the lime, that soured my art and silenced me, like a mime. I have raided your cupboards and left you barren plus bare, the next time you search for me, I will not be there. Forever disconnected from your infantile ways, better late than never to a...

Rage washes over me as I become more aware of all the ways in which your pathetic indolence filled my life with sheer despair. Torn into pieces, I adorned myself with scorn and began to contemplate ways to make you wish you had never been born. I will poke and prod at you with my demonic pitchfork, until your walls fall down like mass destruction in New York. The audacity you had to lecture me as you remained, in your glass house so picture perfect, yet full of disdain, was enough to infuriate me further, like the bulls in Spain. I see nothing but red hoping to shed, the blood that you owe me for the years you stole from me. I could instead be the better person and pick up and resume, but the violence within me seethes, threatening to consume me whole. Like those imprisoned without parole, you were the weakest link within my chain so I had to set you free, until it became apparent that you were pathetically dependent on me. You claimed that you were stronger and th...

The chaos of confusion creates conflict within my mind, as I crawl through the dark searching for a cure to the cancer that has left me blind. Through dimly lit eyes, the uncertainty of us magnifies, blurring the lines between the truth and then the lies. I cannot breathe, nor can I eat although I am starved for clarity, yet full from deceit. I attempt to live in the moment and take each day in stride, but the very thought of us makes me want to run away and hide. There used to be a time when it always rang true, that you were the answer, and I was the clue. Since then it seems, I have been living through a dream, carelessly coursing through the world hoping to find a conscious stream. The promises we made were unjust and impossible to keep, and despite it all, we still failed to look before we leaped. You were the ink that helped me write my prose, even though I pricked your lips like a kiss from a wretched rose. The canvas of my life bleeds with devastating anarchy, manipulat...

Once upon a time your love made me feel the most sublime, you added spice to my life, just like cinnamon and thyme. Your kiss was the conviction and the cause of our carnal crimes, and yet the passion still dried out like dust defiled grime. And somehow I still believe in your kind eyes as I stare to the skies and pray for a reprise. Like a derailed train, our future flew off the tracks, waiting in vain, I hope we can collaborate and bring our love back. Disenchanted as I no longer see through a rose coloured view, communication was the dragon that we failed to slew. My strength was not enough to remove the sword from your heart, and as a result we were forced to interrupt our story as we slowly grew apart. I take comfort in wishing on stars with childlike innocence wondering where you are, hopeful that you will return and be the lighter to my cigar. With each inhale, I will breathe you in, letting you soak into my skin; my lungs will fill with your nicotine, as I b...

Legendary lilac love's lullabies lament lasciviously lacerating lessons learned long ago, lackadaisical lack of depth laboriously led to the loss of ladylove. Overzealous omnipotence obscures others' options of overcoming odds, your obese objectification once obligable obliterated our obsessions, occulting obsoleteness. Vindictively vindicating vapid venom vehemently veered via voluptuous vengefulness, vaguely vaccinating villains and heroes like the Valkyrie. Eager endeavours earnestly entertained, eternally everlasting evil exuded externally erasing excitement exponentially everyday. Ignorance induced into increasingly ignominious incompetence instead of idealistic inheritances, in your eyes iodine irrigated irreverently invoking the invited invisibility of me. Sensually slaking stupor's selfish self-concerning scandals, storybook enchantment seductively slew your self-righteousness asunder. Proprietary presumptions prevailed, proving petulant precociousness pr...

Your emancipating evanescence hit me on my way out the door, as our bodies separated, love don't live here anymore. We failed to communicate our needs until we could no longer see eye to eye; your water that once nourished me is poison now and has run dry. We tried so hard to make it, as we held on tightly to one another's hand. Naivety was our downfall, as we refused to accept that our love had become a no man's land. Desolately isolated, barren like the deserts although our hearts were as frozen as the Arctic cold. Our love was replaced with the wickedest hate, as you carved a hole in my heart and desecrated my psychological state. You satisfied your hunger for pain as you tore up my insides like acid rain. This deluded distance dances drearily drinking me in, as I try to push you further away to stop the pain that I am in. I crystallize with fear, as my diamond eyes help me to see clear. I realize that you wanted to be my rock while turning everyone...

I was crawling through the dark but you made me believe I was fumbling towards ecstasy. Your rabbit hole enchanted me and then it got the best of me. I should have chosen simplicity instead of living lavishly. You copied, pasted and cut out my heart, then let the vultures ravage me. You burned me at the stake, ending your witch hunt with my body in flames, refused to allow me a defence as the fire spit at you and called you names. Was I really so blinded by love that I still suffer in your absence? I was the incense that made you feel zen when all you could do was think in dollars in cents. You are the reason why I have built walls that touch the sky, they protect me from the hurt in this world, and all that could go awry. I cried for days and until it seemed like there would be no end in sight, you stripped me of my sunlight and forced me to embrace the night. I would rather be alone than feel lonely in your arms, instead of providing me with shelter, you filled my world with...

Sleep eludes me as I sit and think of new ways to forget your name. The days blur into one, oblique and grey while our last memories catch fire and slowly take flame. I can recall the time when your name tasted sweet, melting on my tongue as I floated dazed throughout the streets. I silently assuage my hunger as I plunder the world in search of another lover with whom I can share the benefits of being love's elite. Discreetly, I tear out the pages of my memoir that alluded to the years I spent pretending that you made me feel complete. Our tenure expired as we came to terms and realized one another's services were no longer required. Undesired, our unkempt entreaty rarely felt Heaven sent. Unburdened of your ignorance, I can see land in the distance and know my salvation has come. Like spiced rum that I need to abstain from, I can no longer slake my thirst whilst playing make believe and falsely agreeing that you were the one that loved me first. The eye o...

Persistence is futile if it never pays off, like a bad cough, failure never seems to disappear. Through the tears, I realize that the damage is already done. I forgot to look out for number one once again, then let my guard down only to be left out in the rain. You hung me out to dry without the slightest bit of respect, I should have been more guarded, in retrospect. If I had protected my emotions, it could have been perfect. I wore my heart upon my sleeve, naive from the start and got tangled in the web of lies that you weaved. I hold the short end of the stick in my star-crossed lover hands, I chose to be stupid and give into your demands. Like a pregnancy unplanned, you blessed me with your kiss and then slipped through my fingers like sand. Your salacious spider bite filled my wicked veins with venom, I thought your skin was soft like fleece until it burned me and I realized that it was denim. I should have seen through your disguise when you cut me with your...