Kash Baloch — Poetry on Identity, Love, and Survival

Lost at sea, I gave you my all and failed to maintain a connection with the real me. My impermanence refuses to allow for me to remain enamoured by you, I lost my sense of judgment for someone so untrue. Unencumbered now as that was long ago; I am better suited to reap whatever I sow. I placed my trust in your hands, as you sharpened your blade on my neck; the cause of death for many a knave, I am no longer your prisoner, yet still my own slave. I gave you my prize, hoping that it would guarantee many years ahead, and a life that is seemingly secure. I was lied to and mistaken, as I reflect in retrospect and realize that I was forsaken. Our Eden held promise, we could have survived in our very own Paradise without a fight. Instead, you defiled my Heaven with your Hell; betrayed me, assuring that my secrets you would not tell. Like a knife, you cut so deep, causing internal bleeding; I blame myself for being so weak. Meek no more, I will stand up for all that I believe in; sing my repri...

I awaken to find my heart ripped out of my chest; damaged at best, as I struggle to put my thoughts to rest. Your own will never thaw, frozen as the Arctic white. I naively assumed that we could remain, friends until our dying days. But I clearly jumped the gun, as you have started to run, refusing to look back as I fade to black. Now I must regain the strength to win again, I have to get back on track in order to avoid the omnipresent risk of attack. In retrospect it has become crystal clear, that you were only here to help me retrace my steps. Now that I have, it's clear as day, you were Goliath and I was your prey. I attempted to slay you with my mind, but my wit was no match for your malice. I wanted to give you the world, like the Taj Mahal, I was ready to build you your very own palace. But instead, you chose the road less travelled, and decided to revert to being callous. Jaded now, I turn the pages of my life, forced to move on and improve the quality of my life. I refuse t...

As the loneliness sets in, I am forced to come to terms with the skin that I am in. This person that I have neglected yearns to be accepted, no longer made to feel like a diamond in the rough. My diminishing lustre threatens to devour me whole, putting an end to the light that I have tried too hard to emit. My thoughts are charred, burnt to a crisp; recklessly abandoned, as I now speak with a lisp. Insecure and unadored, my tumultuous fervour will never be restored. I should have seen this coming, as it was inside me all along. The inevitability of my sorrows will never allow for me to belong. I refused to follow you into the promised land, like Moses leading his people through the Nile river grand. I chose to remain a slave for money until confronted by my death, like the last great king of Scotland, I called myself Macbeth. I slew the demons that haunted me, the ones I would run from in my past. But alas, my troubles had trained long and hard, they caught up with m...

You crushed my lovely bones into a fine stew. Autumn's breeze scattered my remnants throughout the world, taking in the sights I would rather have seen with you. In England, we saw Avon and the River Thames. They reminded me of our life before the strife, and your eyes that shone like gems. France's tour Eiffel et la Musée du Louvre, were a sight in and of themselves but nothing without you. Your neglect and vehement disrespect was cause for my estrangement from your world. I have grown into a man, no longer innocent as a young girl. The pearls I once saw in windows, now adorn my neck; like a trainwreck, I watched your collapse. My bones returned to the world's map, hoping to capture real beauty in their final moments airborne. They flew above acres of roses, you came to mind when I noticed the thorns. I cannot accept that this is the end, although it is time that we part ways. For a thousand nights, I will grieve your loss and supress my pain during the day. I envisioned o...

I love you even when we are apart. Yours is the face that haunts me in the witching hours late at night, when I should be deeply entranced as supernatural spirits dance in the wide open spaces of the great outdoors. My heart beats your name, as your voice pulsates through my veins; ebbing and flowing, failing to cease. I trick myself into believing that you are not the one, though you are the only one I can depend on, my neverending sun. The light that peeks through my drapes teases my reverie reminiscent of Antony feeding Cleopatra grapes. You are my muse and my teacher too, as you help me become more insightful. Like a tattoo, you are permanently etched unto my skin; I can pretend you are not there but am reminded when caught offguard. You are my boxer, fighting perfect in your art; Cupid, as your arrows pierce my heart. I have allowed myself to negate you for too long, like misinterpreting a song whose meaning is clear and strong. My bones are weakened by your absence in my...

Although your scent still lingers in my room, it has begun to smell more like decay and less like perfume. You wasted the opportunities I gave you so freely, stared at me foolishly as if I were speaking Swahili. I cannot stand to stare at the grave you dig for yourself, immersed in a culture of drugs, refusing to accept any help. Your self-destructive path leads you to much smaller things, I turn the page, we could have lived like kings. My greatest defeat came from your hands, pardon my weakness as I expand. My life remains unchanged though your damage is done. I have become a king, you are merely the unfortunate one. Despair resonates through your voice as you call out my name, eternally silenced. I have snuffed out your flame. Your carousel weakens, unhinging itself, like the Oracle of delph, I envisioned your fall. Athens is burning, overwhelming your calls. Your charms are now faded, they don't function anymore. Your beauty is jaded, as you lie in a heap on the bat...